Personal Disconnection Due To Toxic Family Relationships
The experiences we live in the family context have a great influence on our way of perceiving and managing both personal relationships and the relationship we maintain with our own emotions. That is why, in psychotherapy, one of the aspects we work on to help patients has to do with their way of interacting with their families.
And the way in which we have been living together or sharing key moments with our parents, uncles, grandparents and other reference figures has an important psychological impact on us, for good and bad. That is why, if these family relationships become toxic, we will most likely develop psychological problems that are reflected in our way of trying to make friends, communicating with co-workers, etc.
In this article you will find a summary about How emotional disconnection with others is generated due to having gone through problematic family experiences and what is done in the psychologist’s office to address these problems.
If each person is unique and unrepeatable, this idea can be applied as much or more in the case of families. However, they all have in common that they play a fundamental role in the development of the personality of human beings, especially during childhood and adolescence.
But Even in adulthood, toxic family dynamics contribute to social isolation of those who suffer from them Not necessarily spending little time in the company of other people, but above all finding yourself unable to “connect” in an emotionally meaningful way with others.
That is to say, the family is not just that scaffolding structure on which we build our skills to socialize, having first practiced with fathers, mothers and family members. Furthermore, in most cases, it constitutes the environment that we understand should be our “safe environment”, in which it would be normal for us to see our most important needs satisfied, including that of maintaining a certain level of autonomy and time for ourselves. .
Given that, it is not surprising that family problems have implications in all areas of a person’s life.
Why does emotional disconnection arise after problems in the family?
In essence, Emotionally painful or even traumatic experiences associated with the family lead many people to socially isolate themselves, consciously or unconsciously. Some of the reasons they allege are the following:
⦁ Fear that someone will cause them the same discomfort that they have suffered in their families. ⦁ Shame about the image they believe their families convey. ⦁ Dysfunctional beliefs about human goodness or evil. ⦁ Lack of time or energy to cultivate friendships, due to having to deal with conflicts in their families.
How can psychologists help you with these problems?
As we have seen, each family has its own dynamics and characteristics, so Any form of therapeutic intervention always begins by examining, case by case, what is happening to the patient Once this is done, psychologists establish a working hypothesis and propose possible solutions to help the person overcome their discomfort, in addition to agreeing on a specific goal that must be reached (with the help and assistance of the professional).
These psychological interventions to solve emotional disconnection can take many forms depending on the specific causes of the problem, but they generally highlight the following strategies and techniques.
1. Training in conflict resolution and assertiveness
Since toxic family dynamics are part of the causes of what happens to the patient, It is usually helpful to train them in conflict management skills
The objective is that, through assertiveness, you can preserve your individuality and can assert yourself before those family members who consciously or unconsciously have been contributing to your inability to relate normally with others.
2. Cognitive restructuring
Cognitive restructuring is based on test the beliefs that the patient holds on to to see which ones are dysfunctional and work against you when it comes to overcoming the problem you suffer from.
Once that is done, alternative ideas and frameworks for interpreting reality are proposed, which allow you to perceive what is happening to you in a more balanced, realistic and richly nuanced way, without falling into the pessimism that had been paralyzing you. This helps to improve self-esteem, so that the person does not assume in advance that they will fail if they try to “connect” with someone.
3. Desensitization to fear of rejection
Many people who have these types of problems feel an emotional disconnection with the people around them because they do not dare to open up to them, fearing that others will prey on their vulnerabilities. That is part of what happens has to do with self-sabotage: the person decides to give up the possibility of having meaningful relationships and connecting emotionally with others because of the painful experiences they have had with their family, in order to prevent something similar from happening.
To resolve this type of discomfort, psychologists guide these people in the process of testing these closer relationships with others, so that they gradually see that it is not necessary to maintain that extremely defensive attitude.
Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?
If you are interested in having psychological assistance, contact us.
In Psychoconsulting We serve both individuals and companies to help them address problems such as conflict management, stress and anxiety regulation, lack of work performance due to bad habits, low self-esteem, and more. We offer face-to-face sessions in Barcelona, and also through the online modality by video call.
