Do you feel like you don’t trust anyone? Are you afraid that others may betray you? Perhaps you suffer from pistanthrophobia, a phobia that involves not being able to trust the people closest to you. Find out.
We can all have different speeds in our relationships, especially in everything that refers to trust in others. In many cases, trust can come easily and quickly, but it can also take a long time to trust someone. But in some cases, the ability to trust other people, especially in a romantic relationship, can be a nearly impossible task.
What is pistanthrophobia?
The pistanthrophobia It is a phobia that involves having an irrational fear that someone may hurt you in a romantic relationship. We must keep in mind that, when we talk about a phobia, we are referring to a type of anxiety disorder that presents as a persistent, irrational and excessive fear of a situation, and in this case a specific bond.
Often, there is no real threat that this could happen, but sufferers of this phobia tend to avoid any type of situation that involves a romantic commitment to evade the anxiety and anguish they cause. When a person suffers from a phobia, it can alter their daily routine or even affect their relationships with others, and more specifically with their partner.
In the case of pistanthrophobia, it is considered a specific phobia, that is, a phobia related to a specific situation or thing. In the vast majority of cases, those who suffer from this type of phobia are usually because they have suffered a serious disappointment or a painful end in a previous relationship.
As a result, they may come to avoid relationships with someone they really like as a way to protect themselves from future similar painful experiences.
Signs that you may be suffering from pistanthrophobia
Some signs that could indicate that a person has pistanthrophobia are the following:
- Distrust: You find it almost impossible to label someone very close to you as trustworthy, even if they have shown you that you can trust him or her. You simply cannot help but be skeptical of every person you meet, believing that everyone may betray you at some point.
- You feel like you will never have a happy relationship: When you think about your love life, all you see is the negative side. That is, you cannot imagine an alternative in which you can have a happy relationship with another person.
- You have obsessive and ruminative thoughts: Overanalyzing situations with the person you like excessively. This implies that you are continually reading between the lines and trying to discover the ‘hidden’ motives of those around you.
- You doubt everything you hear: You may treat a person you love very much as someone who is lying to you or who will lie to you at some point in the future. Despite what they tell you, you will never end up trusting them. It is not jealousy, but a much deeper distrust.
- You are negative: You feel that everything that can go wrong is very likely to end up going wrong. That is, you tend to be a pessimistic person even though you have no reason to believe that things could go wrong.
- You tend to be extraordinarily jealous: People who suffer from pistanthrophobia tend to be insecure about their relationships. Furthermore, these feelings end up triggering constant jealousy, even in the simplest things.
- You need constant reassurance: You always require your partner to assure you and reaffirm his affection for you. That is, you require constant validation that they are not going to hurt you.
These are some of the signs that you could suffer from pistanthrophobia If you feel like this is your situation, it is important that you go to a mental health professional.
What causes pistanthrophobia?
Some of the main reasons why People may experience trust issues They can be the following:
- Infidelity: Having suffered from a situation of infidelity can end up triggering the development of this phobia.
- Manipulation or abuse: In many cases, those who suffer from pistanthrophobia have suffered abuse in a previous relationship. That is, they have been with a person who has been able to manipulate them or even isolate them from others.
- Trauma: Adverse experiences in childhood can also end up causing people to develop these types of phobias. An example may be having suffered a situation of abuse or abandonment by the main caregivers.
- Divorce or conflicts between parents: Having a negative experience in your parents’ relationship can also influence developing this type of phobia.
Normally, the pistanthrophobia It is usually closely related to having suffered from a ‘betrayal’, that is, when a trusted person ends up causing harm. Even so, as happens in all phobias, they can appear without there being a cause that justifies or explains it.
How to overcome mistrust in relationships?
Know how to address trust issues or pistanthrophobia It’s not simple. For this reason, it is important that you consult with a professional psychologist. Additionally, we recommend that you take the following into account:
- Accept the risk that comes with learning to trust again: Nobody is perfect and everyone can let us down. Therefore, you should try to accept the risk that comes with trusting a person.
- Analyze where this phobia comes from: It is very likely that this phobia is due to a negative experience in a past relationship. As a result, try to understand where it came from and why it is affecting you.
- Communicate honestly and frequently: To overcome this phobia, one of the keys is communication. Consequently, it is vital that you know how to express yourself correctly with others and try, if something bothers you, to say it as honestly as possible.
- Express your appreciation to those you trust: It is important that you express your appreciation to those people you consider trustworthy. The reason is that you will make others more aware that you trust them.
- Go to therapy: If you feel that you cannot address this phobia with your own tools, we recommend that you go to a professional psychologist.
It is normal for us to distrust those people who have hurt us. But, when there are no reasons, this can imply that we are facing a problem of mistrust and even suffering from Pisanthrophobia. We must remember that trust is the basis of any healthy relationship.