Despite the relatively progressive progress in the search for equal rights for all members of society, gender violence continues to be a frequent problem in our society today.
Psychology has attempted to work both on the victim and on the social environment and even on the aggressor. In the latter case, an attempt has been made establish a typical pattern or profile of the abuser Although there are many types of abuse and abuser, it is possible to find some typical characteristics of this type of aggressors.
Gender violence
Gender violence is understood as any conduct, communication or lack thereof carried out by a subject with the aim of causing physical, psychological or sexual harm to another due to or for reasons derived from their belonging to a sex or gender. specific genre.
The person who carries out the harmful act, the abuser, commits said acts voluntarily and intentionally knowing that said acts represent a violation of the rights of the attacked party. Violence can be exercised directly or indirectly , through physical attacks, humiliation, threats or coercion. Sometimes the violence is not exerted on the couple themselves, but rather the environment or their children are attacked in order to cause their suffering.
The statistics show that A large majority of abuse is carried out by men towards women generally with abusive attitudes and behaviors beginning during adolescence or early youth.
There are also cases of late onset, as well as cases in which the abuse is carried out by the woman towards the man (although it is generally not recognized as gender violence).
There are a large number of variables that can end up causing an individual to end up committing abuse, so it is not easy to establish a general profile of the figure of the abuser in gender violence. Despite this, below we will see a dozen common traits in most cases.
The profile of the abuser
Although there is no single type of abuser and They all have characteristics that make them different from each other , there are a series of elements that tend to be common in almost all cases. Below are a series of twelve traits that are usually shared by most abusers.
1. They usually have a good public image
It is not uncommon for when cases of abuse are known, voices of surprise arise among people who know the abuser. This is because outside the home the abuser tends to act perfectly normally , generally having no visible signs of hostility towards his partner in his behavior and treating her and others with cordiality and affection. It is at home, in private life, where the individual in question manifests and discharges her aggressiveness.
2. Feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem
A common denominator in most abusers is the presence of low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority with respect to their peers. Such feelings of inferiority cause deep frustration that can easily transform into violence.
On the other hand, the frustration caused by seeing things from the perspective of someone who has low self-esteem, in certain cases, leads to expressing anger through violence against those who are physically weaker or against those who are in a vulnerable situation. for reasons related to the context. Furthermore, a safe place is sought in which to carry out this violence, and the domestic environment is usually a safe place for the aggressor, since it offers privacy, far from the gaze of those who are feared.
3. Motivation for power
As a general rule, the abuser tends to have a high need for power. These subjects They tend to need to impose their own opinions or that things are done their way, at least in small social circles, those in which they can try to gain respect through violence (instead of achieving it, they sometimes cause fear, something very different from respect).
Due in large part to the aforementioned feelings of inferiority or the lack of control in various vital domains important to the aggressor, the individual in question may end up in the need to exercise control and dominance over the partner whom they tend to consider inferior.
4. They internalize gender stereotypes
Gender violence receives that name because the cause of the violence is linked to the sex of the person being attacked. Consequently, most abusers they use gender roles as a pretext for aggression using them to highlight your role and that of your partner and punishing behaviors and thoughts that deviate from this.
Thus, the woman must be submissive, loving and dependent while the man must be strong, dominant and stoic. If one of the two does not fulfill these roles frustration and aggression appear
5. Low level of assertiveness
Another relevant aspect in a large number of abusers is the absence of an ability to respond assertively to different problems that can happen to them day to day. Thus, problems and changes frustrate them and they tend to react aversively to them. They defend their rights aggressively without taking into account the wishes of others and putting their needs first.
6. Dependency relationships
Although it is not true in all cases, it is common that in the personality structure of the abuser there tends to be a certain dependence on the environment. This dependency causes fear and a certain fixation on the idea of being abandoned, which in the case of the abuser translates into an increase in control towards the partner, a high level of jealousy towards other possible “competitors” the attempt to isolate her and make her dependent on the aggressor and even physical aggression.
7. Emotional instability and impulsivity
As a general rule, the abuser tends to have a high level of neuroticism. This means that they have a labile emotionality that can quickly go from joy to sadness, or from affection to contempt. This lack of stability facilitates frustration and internal tension, which, together with high impulsivity and poor impulse control can trigger aggression.
8. Egocentrism
A relevant aspect that most abusers share is the tendency to focus on your own needs and concerns ignoring those of others or the consequences of one’s own behavior on others.
9. Jealousy and possessiveness
The individual who mistreats tends to fear that the partner will abandon him or expose him, so he tries to avoid being influenced or attracted by external subjects who could distance him from her, reacting violently to supposed interactions with people outside the relationship. couple when they consider that they can take it away from them.
The abused person It is considered an element of your property who must remain faithful and fulfill his designs. Controlling behaviors are established and perception is biased in search of confirmation of their fears.
10. Low levels of empathy
One of the most clearly visible aspects of abusers is the low level of empathy they show with their victims They do not usually put themselves in the position of the victim or they voluntarily choose to ignore her point of view, not taking into account the psychological and/or emotional effects that the abuse has on the victim beyond the control of her behavior.
11. They minimize violence or blame others
Another frequent factor, although it does not occur in all cases, is the fact that the abuser tends to consider the violence carried out as justified reduce the importance of its effects or place the blame on the couple’s actions or on other factors such as alcohol or drugs.
12. Manipulation capacity
Although not in all cases, despite having a very reduced capacity for empathy, many repeat abusers have a high capacity for manipulation and suggestion. Yes ok It also depends on the situation and the personality of the victim In some cases, the ability to convince them that aggressive behaviors have been carried out for their own good, that they are normal, or even that the aggression was deserved, has been demonstrated.
They can also predispose the victim to distrust their environment and distance themselves from them, putting them on bad terms with their loved ones, isolating them and making them exclusively dependent on the aggressor.