Psychological Abuse In A Couple: What Effects Does It Have And How To Detect It

Psychological abuse can be difficult to recognize due to its more normalized presence in relationships and its lack of obvious signs. However, the damage caused by this type of abuse can be even worse than that caused by physical violence.

Many people are not aware that they are involved in a psychologically abusive relationship and consider many of the abusive situations as normal problems and disagreements within a relationship.

As we see, the most damaging aspect of psychological abuse is how difficult it is to identify it. Because it does not involve physical abuse, victims often have a harder time leaving the situation. It is important for people to analyze what forms of psychological abuse they are tolerating or reproducing. A first step is to understand what psychological abuse consists of and what signs allow us to name it. In this article We analyze psychological abuse in relationships and its most frequent signs

What does psychological abuse in a couple consist of?

Psychological abuse within a relationship It is the most common form of violence It is also the most standardized and the most difficult to test. The term psychological refers to abuse that is not physical in nature, although it may involve violent threats directed at the victim or their loved ones. Victims of psychological abuse often feel isolated and do not take steps to protect or defend themselves against future situations of abuse.

Psychological abuse, as we have seen, is often difficult to detect due to its subtle nature; however, it can also occur in an overt or manipulative way. The ultimate goal of the abuser is to control the abused person , convincing her that she is incompetent, separating her from her support systems, and making her feel unworthy of talk, even of love. This form of abuse involves all attempts to control, scare, or isolate the partner through words or actions.

Psychological abuse usually begins gradually and continues steadily over time. It’s easy to miss the first subtle signs of an abusive situation. Small, gradual changes in a person’s abusive behavior can easily go unnoticed. So many people are already familiar with some of the obvious signs of emotional abuse and manipulation, which they consider normal.

Psychological abuse, ultimately, leads the victim to feel a strong dependence on their abuser His greatest advantage is his ability to slowly destroy the victim’s self-esteem, causing the abused to doubt his own worth as a human being. Furthermore, any separation carries the stigma of failure, which makes some people prefer to stay in an abusive relationship and think that it is the price to pay for not being alone.

Some people think that only some people considered weak or who belong to a certain social class can be victims of abuse; However, this is not reality. Psychological abuse can happen to anyone of any age or social class. More than a profile of an abused person, there is a profile of an abuser.

Signs to identify psychological abuse

Although psychological abuse is usually subtle and difficult to detect, There are a series of red flags The first thing to determine if we are in an abusive relationship is to consider how it makes us feel. And what emotions our partner awakens in us.

In any case, a situation of psychological abuse can make us distrust ourselves and our perceptions, drastically reducing our capacities for self-esteem and self-perception, which, ultimately, makes it extremely difficult to abandon the relationship. Some victims of abuse are too afraid to leave the relationship and are too hurt to do so. Finally, They find themselves in a situation that they are aware of, but they cannot get out

Emotionally abusive relationships entail a whole series of unhealthy manifestations such as: pain, stress, confusion, anxiety and depression. If these negative emotions are frequently present when you interact with your partner, there is a high probability that we find ourselves in a psychologically abusive relationship. These types of sensations are not characteristics of a healthy relationship.

There are certain signs that can help us identify a situation of abuse. A sign of psychological abuse is if the other person places unrealistic expectations on us, examples of this are: demanding unreasonable things, or expecting us to leave everything aside to satisfy their needs.

Another sign that someone may be emotionally abusive is if it constantly invalidates us Some examples of invalidation include: saying that you are exaggerating when pointing out problematic behavior or demanding an exact date to try to deny something that happened. Emotionally abusive people also tend to create chaos, often starting arguments out of nowhere or making confusing and contradictory statements. This type of erratic and unpredictable behavior can make us feel like we are “walking on eggshells,” afraid that any comment will trigger an emotional outburst.

Psychological abusers also tend to act with superiority and entitlement in almost all situations, this includes treating others as if they were inferior or blaming them for their mistakes and shortcomings. They will also frequently try to isolate and control you ; Some examples of this type of behavior are: controlling who we see or spend time with, including friends and family, or hiding car keys.

It is important to remember that everyone, including ourselves, deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. Minimizing the other person’s behavior can lead to a cycle of emotional abuse.

Many studies confirm that more women than men suffer psychological abuse from their partners. According to the first 2005 WHO study on domestic violence, this is the most common type of violence that women face above attacks committed outside the sphere of the couple.

Consequences of psychological abuse

As many health professionals point out, psychological abuse can have consequences as serious as physical abuse, it just has no visible signs. Instead of bruises, the wounds of abuse are focused inward and include: doubts, self-hatred, and feelings of worthlessness Because their signs are invisible to others, victims have a harder time realizing they are being abused or making them feel isolated.

Living in a situation of constant emotional abuse can cause us to completely lose our sense of who we are. Over time, criticism, insults, put-downs, and insincerity can erode our self-perception until we are no longer able to see ourselves for who we really are.

Abusive relationships can lead to make us believe that we are not good enough for anyone and that we do not deserve the other : abuse is the price to pay. This can lead to self-deprecating comparisons, agreeing with the abuser, and staying stuck in the relationship. Victims of abuse may end up believing that no one really loves them and withdraw from their friends and family, becoming isolated. This makes it even more difficult to leave the relationship.

Chronic stress caused by psychological abuse leads to physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and illness. It can also cause somatization (emotion that manifests as physical symptoms) in conditions already present. These include apathy, depression, fatigue, insomnia and eating disorders. Victims of psychological abuse are likely to abuse alcohol and other psychoactive drugs.

In some cases, victims of abuse may even begin to justify the abuse , underestimate its seriousness or adopt the perspective of the aggressor’s reality. Furthermore, many abused people do not even realize that they are involved in an abusive situation; This happens more often than most people think, as many violent relationships become normalized. The ideas that we have internalized about romantic love or phrases like “whoever loves you well will make you cry” contribute enormously to not detecting this type of psychologically abusive behavior.

Finally, The first step in dealing with an emotionally abusive relationship is to recognize or understand that abuse exists By being honest about what we are experiencing, we can begin to take back control of our lives with the help of professionals. Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy, and above all we should never think that we deserve the situation or feel guilty. In the case of suffering abuse, we are the victim.