Relationship Problems: What Causes Them, And How They Are Treated In Psychology
Relationship problems are the main source of discomfort for many people around the world, and that is why psychologists tend to deal with this type of crisis frequently.
This is because it is common to experience difficulties in romantic relationships: in addition to the problems in private life that affect the way we relate to our loved one, we add the setbacks that arise within the relationship itself.
In this article we will see what aspects of our lives influence the way we experience relationship problems, and what can be done through psychological intervention to solve them.
There are countless reasons why relationship problems can appear, since each person is unique. However, in general it is possible to identify a series of factors that especially influence the probabilities of experiencing this type of conflict. They are the following.
1. Personality style
In general terms, It is not true that having very different personalities is beneficial for the couple In fact, if this factor has an impact on the health of the relationship, it is negative (at least, statistically). It is easier to reach a point where there is incompatibility of priorities and motivations if both members of the relationship are too different.
Furthermore, regardless of the degree of similarity between the two people, those who adopt a pattern of behavior that corresponds to a personality of strong neuroticism They also tend to experience more problems in their relationships and marriage. This does not mean that they are predestined to fail in their love life or that they cannot learn to regulate their actions in order to be with someone, of course. Simply, as a general rule they have it a little more difficult.
2. Values and beliefs
Talking about values and beliefs may seem very abstract, but they really have an effect on the health of relationships. Seeing how the person we love behaves in a way that clashes with our value system, in the long run, can generate resentment, reproaches and arguments especially if those values have to do with the love relationship in a very direct way.
3. Lack of time together
We must not forget that love does not appear in nothing: it needs to be constantly nourished by time spent in the company of the boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.
This is sometimes complicated, especially if there are family conciliation problems due to poor working conditions. However, On other occasions, what fails is the quantity, but the quality of the time spent under the same roof Boredom and monotony can mean that the only kind of meaningful interaction between members of a relationship is arguments.
4. Communication problems
Failures to communicate are also one of the common reasons for problems between couples. These cause misunderstandings and moments of ambiguity that ultimately lead to frustration and irritability and even in serious coordination errors.
Many problems in intimate and sexual life have a psychological origin. For example, it is very common for insecurity to cause not only dissatisfaction in this aspect of life, but even self-esteem problems and taboos.
6. Infidelity
Infidelity is another of the common problems for which couples go to see a psychologist. For this reason, on many occasions, what we psychology professionals do is investigate the past of the relationship, to see if there have been episodes of infidelity and if there may be old grudges, something that is not always directly communicated during conversations. first phases of psychological intervention.
7. Jealousy
Another of the problematic factors that we see most in psychology sessions with patients are conflicts due to excessive jealousy. Insecurity and the feeling that the relationship or marriage could break up at any moment Due to the interference of a third person, they can cause a lot of anguish both in those who experience jealousy firsthand, and in the other member of the couple, who feels controlled.
8. Anxiety
Anxiety and stress They do not have to originate in what happens when interacting with the person you love (in fact, they usually have to do with what happens at work, or with health problems), but it is clear that they affect development. emotional of the couple. For this reason, it is one of the aspects to which psychologists attach the most importance in consultation.
How does a psychologist work to help couples in crisis?
We have already seen the most common types of origin of relationship problems; now, Let’s see how we work from psychology to find a solution to these cases The good news is that the chances of obtaining significant improvements in the degree of solidity and satisfaction are high, around 80% of the cases.
Psychological professionals work both with each member of the relationship individually, and with the couple as a whole, to detect contexts and situations that are maintaining and fueling the couple’s crisis.
Then, based on this information, we intervene both on the patients’ ideas and beliefs, as well as on their habits, so that they are able to interpret what happens to them in a more constructive way and at the same time have ways to embrace healthier ways of relating. All this, having identified the personality styles of each patient, the objectives and motivations of each one, their problematic or potentially beneficial behavior patterns, etc.
In short, solving relationship problems involves internalizing new habits both cognitively (ideas and beliefs) and behaviorally (ways of interacting with the environment and with others); In this way, both psychological dimensions reinforce each other in ourselves and in the person we love, and the passage from a love crisis to a new phase of mutual discovery is possible.
