Resentful People: 10 Traits And Attitudes That Characterize Them
We have all come across spiteful people throughout our lives Whether from a friend, partner or family member. We do not choose the latter, unlike the first two, so we may have to face a complex situation.
On the other hand, it is common that when a love relationship breaks up, and due to the intensity of the feelings characteristic of this type of relationship, great resentment appears towards the other person. At least until we accept the breakup.
He resentment It is a type of moral damage, for which we feel offended and want revenge. Emotions arise such as hatred, anger and the desire to make the other person pay for what they have done to us (or we believe they have done to us).
But are resentment and revenge the same thing? We could say that resentment is the feeling that we have been hurt, but revenge is when we behave in a hostile way and we want the other person to suffer the consequences of having hurt us. Resentment and revenge usually go hand in hand, although the latter does not always materialize.
But what characterizes a spiteful person? How can we recognize these types of individuals? These are the 10 traits or attitudes that characterize spiteful people
1. They neither forgive nor forget
Resentful people often say they forgive… but they don’t forget In reality, they neither forgive nor forget, because if they really forgive, they would forget. Not forgiving means that what happened is still present and that is why they feel that way. The best way to forget something is to forgive. And forgiveness, although sometimes it is difficult for us to see it, is necessary to maintain emotional balance.
Regarding this, you may be interested in our article: “Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the person who hurt me?”
2. They don’t learn from the past
The spiteful people They do not learn from the past and remain stuck in the events that have happened to them Instead of seeing bad experiences as opportunities to grow, they take everything personally, which makes it impossible for them to move forward.
3. They think that they are never wrong
These types of individuals They think they are perfect and that they don’t make mistakes They are not very tolerant and too rigid and when someone does not act as they want, they tend to be very hard on others. We all have the right to make mistakes, it is part of life.
4. Everything is black or white
These individuals They move at the extremes: either everything is white or everything is black In other words, there is no middle ground. Good-bad does not always explain what happens in interpersonal relationships, because many variables influence our behavior.
As they are uncompromising people, spiteful people are also proud. At the very least, they take it personally and think that they are being attacked. This causes them to become defensive and try to appear strong. The truth is that being a proud individual does not have to be an indicator of being a mentally strong person, but rather it is a symptom of weakness.
To stop being a proud person you can read our article: “5 tips to stop being so proud.”
6. They always want to be in control
Resentful people are usually people who want to have everything under control. They do not feel comfortable engaging in dialogue and do not accept that others have their opinion and a different taste. As said before, they are uncompromising and everything has to fit into their perception of a perfect world.
7. They are easily offended
And of course, when this does not happen they are easily offended. Deep down, resentment is a way of not accepting things and, in fact, it may even mask one’s own insecurities. Resentment is not good since it keeps the wound open for a long time. The best thing is to accept and move on.
8. They always want to be right
But insecurity too It is linked to the desire to have everything under control and to always want to be right Insecure people fear the opinions of others and do not feel comfortable being tested by others. They always want to be right and when this does not happen they do not accept it.
When we hold resentment in our hearts, life is not a pleasant place, because you constantly remember what they have done to you and, instead of overcoming it, you dwell on it. The spiteful people They tend to be resentful towards more than one person and, therefore, they turn their life into a drama
10. They think they are better than others
As has already been said, resentment can be understood as non-acceptance of what happened and the feeling that we have been hurt. But It is still the perception of how we have been treated If we play down the issue, it will hardly affect us. Now, if we believe we are better than others and think that only they do things wrong, we are going to give more value than it has to what happened.
Everyone can change
If you know someone who is spiteful or if you yourself have some described traits, Don’t worry A change in attitude can make you see life in a different color and improve your personal relationships. If you see that you have more difficulties than expected in solving this attitude, you can always go to a psychotherapist who can help you.
