Resilience: Definition And 10 Habits To Enhance It
Life goes on… Life always goes on, but many times without wanting anything, it takes us a while to reconnect with the values that keep us going when it is suddenly cut short.
We want to predict what will happen and we dedicate a lot of energy to establishing a stability that gives us the tranquility of the calm sea, but sometimes the weather changes, sometimes waves come and other times tsunamis appear that destroy not only what we built but also what we had founded.even the imagined thing that kept us excited and motivated us to get up every morning. That’s when we need resilience.
What to do when we go through a bad time? The alternative is so simple that it is cruel, The alternative is to continue livingbecause living is also suffering, it is moving forward without desire, it is confusion, fear, anger…
We have to give ourselves permission for this stage, after all it is a logical phase of grief.
Society fills our life plan with a lot of premises that we must fulfill to be happy and it also seems that if we don’t, they blame us for choosing to be dissatisfied, as if the emotional state could be programmed and kept active in joy mode until you decide to modify it. Unfortunately, this is not the case.
In terms of how we deal with these moments of low spirits, a lot of different things happen. Some people who believe in it and luckily their sea is calm, can afford to look at other lagoonsconsider that storm surges or some unexpected storm may come or that now that the sea is calm it is a shame not to enjoy it having someone else to be with, a better job, a smaller nose…
Others are elite athletes in this disciplinethey continually overcome wave after wave, without time to enjoy the calm, they simply deal with solving everything that comes without paying attention to anything and at least while that busy stage lasts they do not feel too much discomfort, which however they notice later as a physical and emotional hangover, proportional to the maelstrom in which she has been immersed.
Other people get used to living with discomfortbut with the permanent feeling of being responsible, this reassures them, it gives them at least a feeling of control, but the sea cannot be controlled as if it were the pool at my house, so unexpectedly, without deserving it, without predicting it, A storm destroys our lives and… what do I do next?
Learning to live differently
This is the most complicated of situations, in which the pain is so intense that everything around you fades into the background, in which any complaining comment about something that seems banal to you offends you, and immerses you in the silence of incomprehension and sadness.
It is often said that the bitterest pains are intimatethey hurt so much that we do not want to expose ourselves to the double victimization of misunderstanding and we remain silent, hearing like an annoying noise the great difficulties that others encounter in their daily lives and that you would give too much to exchange.
At that moment in which you come to the conclusion that a single sentence of yours, a headline of your misfortunes, would completely minimize their problems, you become filled with anger and you would shout it, to decide to opt for silence again, it is not worth it, in the end It doesn’t pay off… And that’s when we need tools to get out of the quagmire. The key tool is resiliencean aptitude that can be improved and that drives us to be able to get out of the most adverse situations well.
So, how can we strengthen our resilience?
The most effective way to develop resilience is to adopt a series of habits and attitudesin addition to establishing certain self-discovery guidelines, such as the following:
Learning to relativize
One of the most important aspects of resilience is to be clear that, whether we like it or not, We will never be able to make totally objective assessments about reality.. This fact, which philosophy has been exploring for hundreds of years through one of its branches (epistemology), raises this question: since we must always interpret what happens to us, what is the best way to interpret it? do it?
The key to resilience is knowing that we must avoid being carried away by pessimism, since this is also based on a series of constant inventions about what happens to us. The fact that pessimism and sadness keep us mired in discomfort does not make this reading of reality any more reliable.
Therefore, since whatever we do we will not be able to know reality directly, let us choose construct an interpretation of our life that has meaning important for us. It is a matter of choosing, under equal conditions, a vital story that allows us to continue moving forward.
From this skill, which requires time and practice, resilience will be born, which will help us empower ourselves and be a little closer to that happiness for which we have fought so hard.
