Secure Attachment: Characteristics And How To Encourage It
At birth, it is natural for boys and girls to establish a significant relationship on an emotional level with the people who take care of them, usually being their parents. The characteristics of this bond, also known as attachment, will be very relevant for the complete development of the child, there being different types of attachment and secure attachment being the most beneficial.
Secure attachment is that bond that some children have been able to develop during their first years of life, which is mainly characterized by the fact of having lived a cozy and warm relationship with their caregiver, resulting in the child seeing himself as a person. worthy of being loved and cared for, so that when she experiences some difficulty she will seek help from that caregiver.
In this article we will see what secure attachment consists of and how we can promote it but first we will give a brief explanation about the phenomenon of attachment in developmental psychology and the different types, among which is secure attachment.
Attachment theory was developed by the English psychologist John Bowlby who defined the concept of attachment as the emotional bond that a child establishes during the first years of life with his caregiver (e.g., his mother), this being fundamental to ensure the care of the child and also for the formation of his personality and its psychological development.
Let’s see below the 4 best-known types of attachment, among which is secure attachment, which will be the one we are going to analyze in greater detail in this article.
1. Secure attachment
Secure attachment could be defined as that attachment style that has developed by a person who has confidence that their caregiver is not going to abandon them or fail them In this case that person feels valued, loved and accepted. According to Bowlby, this type of attachment will depend largely on the perseverance of her caregiver when it comes to providing the necessary care and providing security.
Anxious attachment usually develops when a child does not trust his caregivers and constantly has a feeling of insecurity because on some occasions their caregivers are not present, although on other occasions they are. That is why this inconsistency on the part of their caregivers when providing the necessary care to the child has caused them to develop this attachment style.
3. Avoidant attachment
Avoidant attachment is what occurs when A child has assumed that he cannot count on his caregivers, a fact that will cause him a lot of suffering
In these cases, babies will not cry when separated from the caregiver, they will avoid close contact with their caregivers and are only interested in their toys. This occurs when the caregivers’ behaviors have not been correct, so they have not generated the necessary security in the child.
4. Disorganized attachment
This type of attachment could be exposed as a mix between avoidant and anxious attachment, being a case in which the child performs inappropriate and also quite contradictory behaviors. In this case, his caregivers have been quite negligent in caring for the child and his behavior has transmitted a lot of insecurity, this being the opposite extreme of secure attachment.
What is secure attachment?
Secure attachment is that which has been developed when there has been a balance between the child’s exploration of the environment and the attachment of his caregivers, these usually being his parents ; In other words, the balance of the weight of the child’s independence or autonomy and his dependence on his parents is balanced. Therefore, there is a fairly balanced organization at a relational and behavioral level.
In the category of secure attachment we can find all those children who have been able to develop during their first years of life a type of bond with their parents, which is mainly characterized by the fact of having lived a cozy and warm relationship with them, giving as The result is that the child sees himself as a person worthy of being loved and cared for, so that when he experiences any difficulty he will seek the help of his parents, considering that they are a solid and secure base that can provide them with security and support at different levels ( physical, emotional, economic, etc.).
Having developed a secure attachment during childhood It contributes to that person having favorable expectations towards those around them in later years so that she will be more willing to receive help from other people in those moments when she needs it (e.g., her friends, her partner, her teachers, etc.).
Main characteristics of secure attachment
During American psychologist Mary Ainsworth’s research on attachment known as the “Strange Situation Technique” (Strange Situation Procedure), it was observed that those children who had developed a secure attachment when separating from their caregiver or parent experienced the typical anguish of the separation phase, but the close presence of the latter (secure base) during the reunion phase It would be enough to deactivate that attachment system and will encourage the child’s exploration.
These securely attached children will see their caregiver or parent as a secure base for their own explorations, having been able to develop confidence in their caregiver’s availability should they need them. In these cases, we can see children who have a representation of themselves as worthy of love and care, and also have a representation of their care as trustworthy as he is always available to respond to your requests for support and emotional comfort.
Of course, being available at the level of support and to provide security to the child should not be confused with spoiling the child by giving him all the whims he wants in order to make him stop crying or stop asking for something, without having taught him the value. of things.
How can you develop a secure attachment?
Promoting a secure attachment in children is extremely relevant because several investigations in psychology which have been highly accepted by the scientific community, have been able to confirm that the development of a secure attachment during the first years of life is a protective factor for the interpersonal, emotional and cognitive development of the child during their developmental stage. , also influencing their adult stage.
On the other hand, when a child has developed a secure attachment, he will have positive expectations regarding interpersonal relationships and will have greater ease in the following years when learning the bases of reciprocity in social relationships, which must be supported by mutual trust between the members of a relationship, whether family, sentimental or friendship.
Furthermore, with a secure attachment a child will a greater facility to correctly develop the ability to self-regulate one’s own impulses and also one’s own emotions this attachment style being very important when developing the foundations of identity (balance between one’s own autonomy and dependence on other people, self-esteem, etc.
Below we are going to list a series of guidelines that are essential for a child to develop a secure attachment style, so it is convenient for parents and/or caregivers, among whom are preschool or daycare teachers. , children keep in mind:
Transmit safety protection to the child
Promote the child’s autonomy.
Try to understand the child’s emotional state.
Address the implicit needs of the child.
Provide comfort to the child without judging or being derogatory to him.
Explain to the child correctly all those things that he does not understand
Pay attention to the child when he asks for it because he is doing something he wants us to see.
Give the child positive feedback that helps them continue to act correctly.
Tune in on an emotional level with the child.
Respond accurately to the child’s needs.
Know how to be present discreetly on those occasions when it is necessary so that they can explore alone.
Set limits for the child in a coherent and sensitive way.
Allow the expression of the child’s emotions and respect it.
Listen to the child’s opinions and take them into account.
Explain to the child assertively the things he should do differently.
Be an example of good manners for the child.
Be available to the child.
Be consistent with our actions.
Be predictable in front of the child, so that the child can regularly anticipate our behavior.
