Each person has a particular style that determines their way of being and acting. Generally, our life experiences significantly influence the personality that we shape over time.
There are no ways to be better than others. However, shyness is usually the least popular style. Those who identify with this more withdrawn style often suffer from the judgment that others subject them to usually being labeled as insecure, boring, haughty or unpleasant.
There is nothing wrong with feeling more comfortable in environments with few people. However, the society in which we live has convinced us that this is the case. For this reason, shy individuals usually make great efforts to fit in and please others at all costs, giving up their real preferences.
In this article we will talk in detail about shyness, the characteristics of shy people and the most complex situations that they face in their daily lives.
What is shyness?
Shy people are those who prefer to function in settings with few people or be alone. Social situations with many people around are less pleasant for them and require greater effort. Shyness causes people to be more reserved at first, less inclined to take the initiative in interactions. Shyness is associated with prudence and a taste for reliable and small groups of friends
Whenever we talk about shyness, it is associated with the presence of psychological discomfort. However, this is not necessarily the case. There are shy people who manage to function adaptively in their daily lives and are able to take advantage of their resources to get out of social situations without experiencing great anxiety. However, it is true that some of them may have problems when interacting with others, even avoiding certain social settings out of fear. In these cases, the individual can become quite isolated, significantly reducing their social network.
It is important to note that shyness is not recognized as a psychopathological disorder. When withdrawal begins to be a problem and is associated with discomfort and difficulty coping with everyday life, it is usually referred to as a social phobia. Shyness does not imply fear of a social setting, but rather a preference for environments with fewer people.
For all that has been said, Shyness does not imply that there is something abnormal about the person In fact, in childhood we all go through a phase between six and twelve months in which fear of strangers prevails. This represents an adaptive mechanism that allows human offspring to stay close to their caregivers, thus warding off possible dangers.
In short, far from being a psychological disorder, shyness can be a way of understanding the environment and adapting to it with prudence and tranquility.
Characteristics of shy people
Now that we have defined what we mean by shyness, we could highlight some characteristics of shy people.
1. Introversion
Shyness is related to tendency towards secrecy The person does not open up fully until he gains trust with someone.
2. Difficulty expressing feelings
Shyness is also linked to the difficulty in being able to express emotions spontaneously.
3. Discreet attitude
Shy people do not take well to being the center of attention they prefer to go unnoticed and leave the spotlight to others.
4. Difficulty being assertive
Shyness makes it difficult to communicate one’s own needs to others. This causes the person to end up developing a passive and submissive attitude, putting the wishes of others before their own.
5. Discomfort in social situations
Shy people do not usually feel comfortable in social settings with many people. They prefer to spend time alone or with people they trust since only then can they feel completely calm.
Situations that can be complicated for a shy person
As we have been commenting, shyness is by no means a psychological disorder. It is a personality characteristic that does not have to be associated with suffering or discomfort. However, the tendency to withdraw can cause some shy people to see certain challenges in everyday situations that go unnoticed by others. Next, we will discuss some of these daily life challenges that shy people deal with.
1. Talk to strangers
On some occasion you may have had to ask for the time, ask for an address, make a telephone reservation at a restaurant… In all of these cases we are forced to talk to someone we don’t know. These seemingly irrelevant questions can be quite a dilemma for someone who is shy. In your case, You will have to make an effort to take the step and start the conversation, without it being able to flow spontaneously When shyness begins to be a problem and approaches social phobia, it is possible that the person ends up avoiding these types of situations due to the discomfort they generate.
2. Give your opinion
We have all been in a conversation in which a topic on which each person has an opinion has been debated. If you’re not shy, speaking your mind may be an easy task. However, one person who is You may feel uncomfortable conveying your opinion to others This is because intervening in the conversation means becoming the center of attention for a few seconds and even exposing yourself to the judgment of the rest of the interlocutors.
3. Tell anecdotes
The typical situation in a group of friends who are chatting gives rise to everyone sharing funny anecdotes. However, when one of them is shy he may have more difficulty opening up and having his moment. In the course of the conversation you may prefer to be the one who listens to others, as this role is more discreet.
4. Introduce yourself
Another complicated situation for someone who is shy has to do with the timing of presentations. Meeting a new person and talking to them about yourself can be overwhelming
5. Make purchases
Going to the stores or shopping at the supermarket are everyday tasks that we all do. However, for a shy person It can be overwhelming to have to ask the clerks for something, ask about the availability of a product or request that the purchase be wrapped as a gift. Even complaining about a wrong turn can be a moment of tension.
The decalogue to know how to talk to a shy person
If you have a shy person in your environment, you may sometimes have doubts about how to address them. You want to talk to him and make him comfortable, but you also don’t want to overwhelm him Well, to achieve this it may help to follow the following decalogue.