Emotional dependence is the emotional need for presence or contact of one person towards another to cover different areas of one’s life which is conditioned depending on what the other person does or does not do.
We talk about emotional dependence…
If the bond with that person becomes harmful, involving more unpleasant things than positive things, walk away. Let it go. Even if it hurts. It may be difficult, expensive, but… what is the cost that you are willing to pay to continue with that relationship that causes you so much discomfort?
What to do to not suffer from this?
Listen to yourself, observe yourself. What impact does this emotional pain have on you? Are you able to bear it in order to continue this bond?
If it’s love, it shouldn’t hurt We are socially and culturally accustomed to the fact that it is valid to suffer for love, to die for love, to need the other to live, to be happy. We see it in novels, we hear it in songs like “Without you, I am nothing,” “I need you.” Phrases made so naturalized that they subtly incorporate the idea into us, and just a little bit of vulnerability is enough to believe it. But that is not reality.
The truth is that You don’t need anyone specific to live, to breathe, to be happy To tell the truth, you do need someone: yourself. You need to love yourself, value yourself, respect yourself. You are going to live with you for the rest of your life. And one of the most rewarding things about growing up is being and feeling independent. In every sense. Although it is not easy to assume economic independence, in many cases it is more difficult to assume emotional independence.
This does not mean having to solve everything individually in life, not forming a couple or believing yourself to be omnipotent. It means that if we need help we must ask for it but not become attached to that person, permanently and exclusively. A healthy way to socialize and exchange help with others it refers to the flexibility and variability of resources to avoid falling into stagnation. There are many ways to help yourself.
The steps to follow
First of all, We must recognize that we are going through a problematic, unpleasant, toxic situation: in this case we are talking about a relationship that is wearing us down, deteriorating little by little. At this point it would be interesting to evaluate what type of relationship it is and what unites them: is it love? Ossession? Necessity? Or custom?
Second, we must accept the harmful nature of the bond and encourage ourselves to make the decision to move away, to take a healthy distance.
Third, we must look for resources that make it easier for us to carry out that decision. Both internal and external resources.
Strengthening self-esteem It is one of the main keys and can be generated with self-care behaviors that gratify us and give us back the love for ourselves. Request help from a professional, start some sporting, recreational, leisure, or solidarity activity, go for a walk with friends or family, create new social circles. Building or rebuilding one’s own path is essential to be able to embark on the path of detachment from that which generates more harm than good. That which harms us.
Take care of yourself, take care of your self-esteem, take care of your dignity, your identity, take care of who you are. Value yourself, respect yourself and make yourself respected.
