Social fear is a natural mechanism to prevent harm from happening to us. Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence make us feel weak in social situations. We are afraid of feeling judged and it is very likely that this feeling has its origins or origins in childhood.
Everyone, to a greater or lesser extent, has fear of rejection. One of the things that differentiates a self-confident person from another who is not, is that the former learned to manage fear.
But how can we overcome insecurity?
First of all, we recommend that you read this article published in Psychology and Mind which talks about shyness and how to try to overcome it.
Below we propose ten actions that you can apply in your daily life and that will help you be a more sociable person.
1. Love yourself
The best way to end our fear of rejection is to work on self-esteem. A good way to start is by learning to talk to ourselves and value ourselves for who we are: be aware of our virtues and pamper and forgive our defects. Also be aware that we can improve and not be ashamed for not knowing how to do this or that thing. Nobody is perfect and nobody knows everything.To live is to learn and know how to correct our mistakes.
2. Don’t take yourself too seriously
Laughing at ourselves and our flaws will help us relativize our mistakes. We should not get angry with ourselves but understand that mistakes are part of learning. We are not born knowing, we have to be aware that everything has its process and we should not deprive ourselves of the luxury of making mistakes. Let’s be happy about our mistakes because it will mean we are closer to our goal. Furthermore, laughing at ourselves in front of others will help us to be seen as brave people who are not afraid of being judged.
There are few things funnier than the story of a failure. Comedies are usually stories of failures and the characters who live them are people full of mistakes that make them endearing. Let’s look at Charles Chaplin either Buster Keaton; His films are full of falls and mistakes that make the audience laugh. His films are plots that are nourished by mistakes and clumsiness and the audience laughs at them. Or else, let’s look at Woody Allen. All of his films revolve around him and his failures and, far from looking like a fool, people laugh with him and empathize with his experiences because, deep down, We have all failed at some point and there is nothing wrong with that..
4. Talk about your social fear
Saying that we are shy will help us communicate and give information to others so that they can sympathize with us. We will be counting our failures and, at the same time, laughing at ourselves. This way, others will know how to treat us and we will discover that it is okay to have social panic. For example, if we are in front of the person we like, we can say: “I’m sorry, but you intimidate me and if I don’t speak to you or I stutter it’s because I’m concentrating on not bleeding from my nose.”
5. Learn to relax
There is no better way to combat anxiety than learning to breathe and knowing a few relaxation techniques. There is plenty of information on the internet that will help us learn to fight stress. In Psychology and Mind we are supporters of Mindfulnessbut there are countless ways to calm your nerves such as yoga, meditation or playing sports. You can consult the following articles to learn simple and fun techniques that will help you have a better relationship with your mind and your body:
Learning to be sociable people is not an easy task. We must start in everyday situations that do not require great effort. Make comments to strangers It’s a very good way to start. There are countless everyday situations in which we can start practicing, such as saying good morning to the doorman of our building, talking about the weather in the elevator, or telling a friend that her new hairstyle looks great on her. Little by little we will overcome our fears and learn to handle ourselves in different social contexts.
7. Assume that borders and rudeness are everywhere
Knowing which are our mistakes and defects and which are not, will help us to attribute certain reactions to others and not blame ourselves if someone is unkind to us. There are people who camouflages his insecurity by being aggressive with others. We have to learn to detect it and know how to forgive them. If we greet our boss and he responds in a dry or sour way for no apparent reason, we will think that he is dull or that he must have personal problems that make him answer that way.
8. Work on assertiveness
Cultivating observation will be useful for us to know how we should communicate with others. If we start to detect the moods of people according to their body expression, we will be able to express ourselves, or not, in a more appropriate way and we will avoid countless uncomfortable situations and aggressive responses that lower our self-esteem. Know the personality of others It will make us know how to make better and more accurate attributions.
Experiencing new things and leaving our comfort zone will help us get to know different contexts and we will learn to adapt better to them on future occasions. As long as it is not a danger to our physical integrity or our values, it is good and enriching for us to participate in new activities. Let’s focus on the benefits of the activity and not its disadvantages. Let’s take it as an opportunity to overcome a challenge and improve as people.
10. Take the initiative
As we face new situations and accept new activities, we will be prepared to be ourselves the source of coming experiences. Making an event to go to the premiere of a movie that we would like to see or organizing a dinner with our friends and asking everyone to bring a stranger is a good way to start and practice with trusted people. Little by little we will become proactive people of great value to others and we will see ourselves as someone that other people want around for being a source of countless fun activities.
Patience, let’s keep in mind that fears are not overcome overnight. Little by little we will fight them and overcome them. We recommend that you do not compare yourself with the person you would like to be but rather compare yourself with the person you were. Day by day, month by month, year by year, you will realize that you are leaving social panic behind.
