Teenagers At Home: 7 Educational And Communication Keys For Parents
Adolescence is a stage of discovery, of changes, of decision-making, of awakening to the world through the own eyes of a child who, little by little, is becoming a responsible adult.
It is a complex stage because the personality is still being built and important changes occur in the school context.
In psychological consultations, complaints from parents are frequent. Irritable adolescents who do not comply with established norms who begin to have dangerous friendships and who have academic problems.
From the parents’ point of view, adolescence is often described as a time of many fights, confrontations and disputes, to the point where the situation can become totally unbearable. What to do when you live with teenagers at home? Is there a guide for struggling parents?
Tips for a good coexistence with teenage children
Problems have solutions, and although adolescence is a complicated age, everything has a remedy if the appropriate educational seeds are sown.
Next We offer you some advice, both at an educational and communicative level which can help you enjoy your children’s adolescence more.
1. Let them explore the world
Young people need to define many aspects of their lives: their personality, their friendships, their preferences… This is something normal, and You have to understand that they can be fickle in their opinions and tastes In this way they try and decide; It is the way they can ultimately make decisions.
Just as adults need time to shop, in the same way a teenager seeks to make the best decision, only he is just beginning to do so, to discover himself, and therefore It takes time to develop that skill
We must teach (and encourage) adolescent children to express their thoughts and feelings To do this, the most important thing is that we listen to them without judging, criticizing or humiliating.
Young people do not usually talk to their parents precisely because they do not know how to listen and they perceive them as a threat, as adults who only want to correct and punish them. But we must remember that when a young person comes to us to talk it is because he really needs it, he needs to be heard, and the worst thing we can do is lecture them and judge them negatively. If we want our children to place trust in us, it is necessary that we offer them our sincere help when they need it, so that they know that we are faithful support. Anyway, It is not convenient for us to solve their problems: doing it for themselves will allow them to take responsibility and mature
3. Let’s accept their judgment and decisions
If they are decisions that are not going to harm them, let them choose This point is very difficult for many parents, because they are used to deciding for their children and obviously they always decide what they think is best for them.
This is the moment when they must make their own decisions, even if these decisions are contrary to our tastes or way of thinking. The most common examples: way of dressing, the music they listen to, physical appearance, among others. They are aspects of their lives that we can try to influence with our left hand, but never impose our criteria on them
4. Let them make mistakes: we also learn from mistakes.
As adults, we know that our adolescent children must experience the good and bad things in life, in pursuit of their learning and maturational development. We cannot lock our children in a glass bubble, we must let them grow That is, we must let them think, reflect, act, and of course make mistakes, because mistakes allow them to mature. Phrases like: “I told you so”… “Don’t come crying to me, I warned you” and other similar ones nullify the possibility that the child feels that he has the right to make mistakes. How will he learn to make his own decisions without making mistakes? ?
We must keep in mind: we are also afraid of being parents and, above all, of making mistakes. Surely during our lives we have made many mistakes, these allowed us to mature and grow, and our family members forgot the bad times. Now, the teenager can feel firsthand the fear of being an adult, but it comforts him to know that his parents love him, despite his mistakes. Let’s support them, guide them, and when they make mistakes let’s teach them to assume the consequences
5. Let’s learn to apologize if we have made a mistake
The best way to teach is by constant example. If as parents we make a mistake, it is best that we apologize and rectify it is the most important sign of maturity that can be taught to a child.
Precisely at this stage of adolescence is when children begin to realize the mistakes of their parents, which is why adults tend to get irritated more easily, because our children now think, analyze, compare, decide and, consequently, make decisions. an idea or criticism of the environment, also of our skills as parents. Unfortunately, many adults expect and demand that our children apologize when they commit a mistake, but we, as adults, rarely do. We are afraid of showing ourselves weak in front of them. However, apologizing is an act of maturity and courage, and it is not true that we are losing credibility or power in the eyes of our children. On the contrary: we will be earning their respect and admiration
6. Let’s not hold them responsible for our mistakes
Many parents, consciously or unconsciously, want to prevent their children from making the same mistakes that they made in the past, and even They fear that they will be rebellious like they were when they were young
We must overcome our fears and stop extrapolating our fears and desires towards them. Our children are building their own personality and their own path; we must be there to support and help them
7. Let’s be brave: let’s help them be what they want to be
Having children is one of the most intense experiences we can have as human beings. Our role as parents is to make them authentic, independent and successful beings autonomous people who know how to carve their own path towards a full and happy life.
Of course, we should not try to make our teenagers copies of ourselves: Let’s give them the necessary tools to grow and let them choose their own path both in the academic, work, love fields… and in any other aspect.
A few final thoughts
When limits and discipline are established from childhood, an environment of trust and respect is fostered, autonomy and confidence are encouraged, the necessary conditions are provided for children to successfully advance to a new stage: adolescence. Although it is true that among parents the arrival of this vital stage in their children generates a lot of fear – sometimes more in the parents than in the young people themselves -, The reality is that it is usually crossed without major difficulties
Unfortunately, on many occasions it is during this stage when the adolescent makes evident a series of emotional deficiencies that were not provided in childhood. Due, Parents usually use “adolescence” as a smokescreen to avoid reflecting or attend to everything that we have been letting go. Of course, it is in this area that parents “suffer”, and therefore it is necessary to have some tools to know how to face the changes.
We hope that these tips are useful to you to enjoy the stage of “awakening to the world.” The task is not easy, without a doubt, training human beings is a company only suitable for the brave: it will require constantly reviewing our way of educating and correcting some aspects if necessary. The important thing is that we still have time, we just have to put good will into it.
