The 10 Differences Between Self-pity And Victimhood
Any person throughout their life has gone through complicated situations (e.g., the pandemic that began in 2019 due to the coronavirus) and, even so, millions of people have managed to stay strong and motivated to get ahead, which It could be called “resilience”, which is the ability of people to move forward after going through traumatic moments.
When faced with difficult situations, there are two very different perspectives of facing them, self-pity and victimhood; Therefore, it is important that we know what the differences are between self-compassion and victimhood.
A resilient way to emerge stronger from difficult situations is related to “self-compassion”, which is the ability to recognize that you are going through a bad time and this generates discomfort, but without martyring yourself, since if this were the case we would be talking about a term known as “victimism”; and they have frequently come to be related, although in reality they are very different.
In this article we will explain What are the main differences between self-pity and victimhood?
The Key Differences Between Victimhood and Self-Compassion
Below we will see 10 differences that allow us to differentiate self-compassion and victimhood analyzed from the field of psychology and Mindfulness.
1. The person’s attitude
One of the main differences between self-compassion and victimhood is that self-compassion carries with it an active attitude, since the person is motivated towards improvement, towards change or towards the search for solutions to the difficult situation they are experiencing. When a person takes a perspective of a complicated situation from self-compassion, he allows himself to be distracted, to escape with healthy and pleasant activities such as reading, writing or even expressing his own emotions, even crying if he really needs it to vent; but avoid complaining without doing anything.
On the other hand,** victimhood implies a passive attitude, which carries with it an emotional anchor** because the person does nothing in order to find solutions, improve in some aspect that allows the person to feel helpless. When a person adopts a vision of a difficult situation from victimhood, they usually appear sad, complain about the situation that has happened to them without doing anything to keep themselves busy with something that truly fulfills them and stop complaining.
One of the notable differences in self-compassion and victimhood is that self-compassion allows the person to be sensitive to themselves when they are experiencing a complicated situation, giving themselves time to express and understand what they are feeling, and thus look for what they need in those situations. moments, taking care of herself in this way, this being the main purpose of self-compassion.
On the other hand, victimhood often carries with it a purpose of attracting attention of the people closest to them in order to get them to pay attention and, once achieved, it may be the case that they continue to show their complaints to them, which could feed back into taking an attitude of victimhood towards any future problem, without trying do nothing for yourself to handle that situation better and move forward.
3. Possibilities that each one can offer us
Self-compassion, as conceived in psychology and Mindfulness, promotes self-knowledge, since it allows the subject to have a vision from introspection in difficult moments, so you can know what feelings it generates in you and what measures you think you need to take and what you should allow yourself for self-care. This perspective will allow the person to learn very valuable about themselves.
However, another difference between self-pity and victimhood is that when the subject faces a situation from victimhood, in reality they would not be facing it directly, but rather would be avoiding the situation because they do not opt for introspection. and self-knowledge in order to know what feelings they really generate. This perspective will encourage the subject to blame external factors and not examine how they really feel and what is in your power to get out of an adverse situation that is causing you discomfort.
4. Adaptation possibilities
Self-compassion enables the person to adapt and emerge stronger from complicated situations, that is, it approaches the situation from resilience; while victimhood makes it difficult for the person to adapt to the situation and, therefore, they could feel a greater degree of discomfort as time passes.
This is another of the main differences between self-pity and victimhood; Furthermore, when that complicated stage ends, the person who faced that situation from victimhood will need more time to recover and move forward.
5. The internal dialogue that occurs in the person
The internal dialogue that occurs in a person from self-compassion is usually related to understanding what they are experiencing. from a compassionate perspective, which leads you to speak to yourself within your thoughts in a positive and constructive way This is another of the differences between self-pity and victimhood, since in the latter the internal dialogue would be focused from a negative vision, so that the person martyrs with what is happening to them, instead of reproducing the situation from a resilient perspective.
6. Degree of suffering
Another difference between self-pity and victimhood is usually the degree of suffering that each generates in the same complicated situation.
From self-compassion, by taking an attitude of serenity, self-care and comfort towards oneself, The vision is more optimistic, so actions are usually carried out that allow us to move in the appropriate direction so the degree of suffering is usually lower and there is always the consolation of thinking that you are going on the right path and the bad situation experienced will be temporary.
On the contrary, from victimhood, by having a defeatist attitude and choosing to complain about what is happening, and may even go so far as to blame other people, the degree of suffering not only does not stop, but could prolong as the the wailing continues.
7. Results obtained
One of the most important differences between self-compassion and victimhood are the results obtained by choosing to face difficult situations or vicissitudes from each of them.
From self-pity, when facing a complicated situation in an active way, choosing to seek activities towards improvement or the search for solutions so that a greater degree of well-being and self-realization will be achieved ; while from victimhood the person remains stuck in complaints and suffering, so that he has more difficulty coming out stronger in the face of adversity.
8. Generosity vs. Selfishness
One of the differences between self-compassion and victimhood is that self-compassion, as conceived in Psychology and Mindfulness, involves having a vision of generosity towards oneself and even more so when going through difficult times so that we opt for self-care and the search for well-being.
On the other hand, from victimhood, a selfish attitude could sometimes be adopted when the person, in addition to playing the victim for what is happening to them, can go so far as to blame other people for what happens to them.
Related article: “Generous people: these 8 virtues take them far in life”
9. Authenticity vs. Handling
From Mindfulness, self-compassion is seen as a genuine vision of gratitude and generosity towards oneself On the contrary, victimhood can lead the person to exaggerate suffering in order to attract the attention of other people, possibly manipulating them to obtain some benefit, and here we find another of the great differences between self-pity and self-pity. victimhood.
Related article: “Machiavellian people: 8 traits that characterize them”
10. Degree of resilience
After knowing several of the main differences between self-compassion and victimhood, we can verify that self-compassion allows the person to confer a resilience capacity to face complicated situations in an adaptive way and emerge stronger from it.
On the other hand, from victimhood, By choosing to cling to the role of victim without taking the reins in search of a solution to their own problems, it is very difficult for them to acquire resilience and come out stronger.
You may be interested: “Resilience: definition and 10 habits to enhance it”
How to avoid having a vision from victimhood when faced with difficult moments
Now that we have seen the main differences between self-pity and victimhood, we move on to tell a brief decalogue of Guidelines to avoid falling into the role of victim in difficult situations:
Become aware of the situation and analyze the sensations and thoughts it generates in us.
Do not obsess over the origin, since sometimes it is more useful to look for solutions than to obsess over the past.
Avoid complaints and choose to see the positive side, analyzing what we can do to move forward.
Avoid giving pity to others in order to attract their attention.
Don’t blame others for everything that happens to us.
Analyze and recognize what one’s responsibility has been in that complicated situation.
Assume all our responsibilities as adults and get going.
Take charge of our own situation and act towards the solution of our own issues.
Set yourself a series of realistic and achievable goals, and go towards them step by step.
Be grateful and take advantage of what you have, instead of continually complaining about what you want.
