Surely you have ever met someone who is especially affected by the events they experience daily, experiencing each sensation or emotion experienced very intensely.
It may also happen that you have that special sensitivity yourself and experience intense and different emotions from the rest when you interact with your environment and apparently unimportant events occur, but that affect you greatly on a personal level.
This phenomenon is characteristic of what is known in Psychology as High Sensitivity and people who present this characteristic experience experiences, situations, conversations or external stimuli in general much more intensely than the rest. This has implications in all aspects of life, including social relationships; Therefore, in this article we will see Common problems Highly Sensitive People face when trying to make friends without forgetting that this phenomenon not only represents disadvantages when connecting with others.
What problems do Highly Sensitive People suffer when making friends?
High Sensitivity has its origin in the development of a central nervous system that gives greater priority to the neural networks linked to the processing of emotions associated with stimuli. For this reason, Highly Sensitive People perceive in greater detail the subtle nuances of the stimuli in their environment, which makes them more attentive to what is happening around them and see more clearly inputs that would go unnoticed by others.
Highly Sensitive People often experience situations of discomfort and anxiety when socializing with other people, and may present a series of difficulties in making new friends due to their tendency to experience situations that overwhelm them emotionally. Let’s see how this happens.
1. Difficulty fitting in
One of the main characteristics that Highly Sensitive People (HSP) have is the difficulty of fitting into a wide variety of different environments and social contexts due to the great impact that emotions have on your mental health.
Those who present this characteristic may experience feelings of anguish, overwhelm, discomfort or restlessness in social situations, something that can sometimes be hidden to fit in and so that no one thinks badly of them.
PAS profiles tend to see the world differently from the rest, giving too much importance to details and subtleties that would go unnoticed by other people (such as a look, a certain comment, a criticism, a gesture or a WhatsApp message). .
The large amount of information that Highly Sensitive People receive, as well as the fact that they become overwhelmed by negative emotions or real or imagined stimuli, often makes them feel that they do not fit into certain circles, which in the long run makes them avoid all social interaction for a time
2. Lack of self-confidence
Feeling uncomfortable in social situations, confused, strange or unable to relate correctly is generally due to a lack of self-confidence, which in turn has its origins in low self-esteem.
Many People with High Sensitivity show low levels of self-esteem due to their problems fitting in and their difficulty in making new friends or establishing normal relationships.
Their situation is like a fish biting its tail in which low self-esteem is fed by the negative experiences they experience and vice versa.
3. They tend to compare themselves
The tendency to compare oneself with other friends or people around them also contributes to magnifying the discomfort that HSPs feel.
The comparison is based on the need for try not to let their emotions affect them so much and to behave in the same way as friends do and the people with whom these people interact.
4. Tendency toward dichotomous thinking
Highly Sensitive People have a greater tendency to dichotomous thinking, that is, to value everything from extremes. Therefore, they fall into dynamics of exaggerated pessimism more easily.
The tendency towards negativity is typical of low self-esteem and recurring, catastrophic thoughts that visualize a failure when relating to other people due to one’s own emotional characteristics.
This is why HSP profiles often approach social interactions without any hope, prophesying a failure that can most likely occur due to said negative disposition and without seeing anything positive.
5. Isolation as a usual mechanism
As we have indicated, social interaction is often so exhausting and emotionally eroding for HSPs that they often end up isolating themselves from all social contact for a while.
This is a mechanism that is put into practice to not suffer and to be able to rest after having carried out an intense social interaction.
6. Shyness
Shyness is also usually a consequence of low self-esteem and the belief that one will not fit in with anyone or in any social group.
This shyness also makes it very difficult to meet new people so the person withdraws more and more into himself.
7. Difficulty trusting
The belief that others are using them because of their high level of empathy is common in many highly sensitive people.
Likewise, many of them may also feel judged or believe that their friends do not support them or hate them, which is why it is difficult for them to trust other people and even more so with new friends.
8. Excessive empathy
Excessive empathy is another fundamental characteristic in Highly Sensitive People, something that makes them feel intensely any emotion that another person around them may experience
This makes it possible, without a doubt, for many people to take advantage of them and their ability to understand the suffering and needs of others.
9. Difficulty setting limits
The need to please others and be perceived as one of them makes HSPs have serious difficulties setting limits and being assertive.
This is also because they find it difficult to say no, precisely because of their inability to bother or offend others.
10. Difficulties facing new experiences
With everything said above, we can identify one last characteristic of PAS and that is the difficulty in facing new experiences and leaving your comfort zone in your social life
Basic characteristics of this type of personality such as low self-esteem, shyness or lack of confidence make it very difficult for them to face new challenges and meeting other people is undoubtedly a great challenge for them.
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My name is Desiree Infante I am a psychologist and neuropsychologist, and I provide care in person and online.