The 16 Keys To Learning To Manage Anger In Ourselves
Anger is a basic emotion that can be adaptive if we know how to manage it and make good use of it. Now, if we do not modulate it properly, it can harm us in the short and long term.
In order to make it easier for you appropriately manage anger in yourselfBelow we will explain some habits or ways of acting that benefit its regulation and make it truly adaptive. If you want to continue learning how to more appropriately manage anger through habits, keep reading.
anger is an emotion that appears in the person when they think that a negative consequence for their interests has occurred or will occurwho believes that it could have been avoided if someone else had thought about it or acted differently.
Contrary to what is often thought, it is not simply an antisocial psychological phenomenon. It does present a function of adaptation to the environment, since it allows organizing and regulating internal processes of both the mind and the body in general; in her an increase in physiological activation appears, such as motor or cardiovascular, in relation to a feeling of anger that occurs when the desired objectives are not achieved or needs are not met. In the same way, it is also adaptive because it allows you to regulate and build relationships based on the balance of power with other people, expressing discontent, anger or disagreement.
In this way, it is considered an emotion that is subjectively negative, since it shows anger and fury linked to experiences or desires and that generate discomfort, but at the same time it is conceived as a basic survival reaction, because it instigates us to take the initiative to thus avoiding future damage.
In reference to anger, Three components can be differentiated in it, depending on the system that is activated or related.. Anger, as we have already mentioned, refers to the emotional state; aggression would be the component linked to behavioral performance; and finally, hostility is related to the cognitive factor, with the attitude we have towards anger.
Thus, given that sometimes alterations occur if this emotional component, anger, is not well controlled, affectations may appear in individuals, ceasing to present advantages and only generating problems and discomfort in the person who shows it. Therefore, it will be necessary to work on habits and ways of acting that allow us to regulate states of anger.
Psychological keys that help regulate and manage anger in oneself
It is essential to know the causes, which can be diverse, or the different phases that anger goes through in order to identify it as soon as possible and act to regulate it and avoid possible effects. Thus It will be very important to learn to perform good self-control.
Below we present some habits or ways of acting that allow you to control anger and prevent it from reaching harmful levels.
1. Be aware of the first physical symptoms
We have already mentioned that one of the main reactions of anger is physiological activation, such as cardiovascular activity or increased sweating. Therefore, it is important to identify these first physical symptoms and being able to act prematurely by deciding to move away from the source of conflict and relaxing again.
2. Give a name to the emotions we are feeling
Once the first reactions have been identified, it is recommended to give a name to what we are feeling, in order to search for meaning and rationalize the reaction. It allows us to gain perspective and not act inappropriately and impulsively..
Likewise, it can be beneficial to practice this skill continuously, as a habit, as this makes the process easier when you are in a state of anger.
3. Stop for a moment and think before acting
Thinking before acting is essential and can save us from impulsive and negative actions that complicate the situation and that do not really resemble who we are. This form of more reflective behavior is useful in most situations in our lives.; Therefore, it is good to establish it as a habit of action.
4. Don’t keep anger inside, express it
As we have seen, anger allows us to act in an adaptive and functional way, since it allows us to defend our goals and needs.
But for the usefulness of this to be truly functional, we will first need to be aware of what we feel, calm down, organize our ideas and main objectives in order to do so. communicate our anger and our disagreements in such a situation in an assertive mannerthat is, defending our rights and interests without doing so in an aggressive or hostile manner.
It is important not to accumulate anger, in this way it is recommended to express it, but as we have already said, in an appropriate and not impulsive way.
You may be interested: “Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication”
5. Try not to show a winner/loser mentality
Likewise, it is recommended to be empathetic and understanding with others, without showing the winner or loser dichotomy, where it is believed that in interpersonal relationships one wins, implying that the other must lose.
6. Change the way we refer to or express what we feel
Given the degree of activation that occurs during the feeling of anger, being able to identify it and soften it or help express it appropriately benefits us.
In the same way that we have pointed out the need to be assertive, it is crucial to express our anger in a calm and without raising your voice and without using any type of insult or bad word.
7. Try to be an empathetic person
When defining the definition of anger, we saw that one of the reasons for its appearance is the belief that another person has not taken into account or has not acted appropriately to benefit the achievement of one’s own objectives.
Thus, Before blaming the other individual, it is necessary to try to put ourselves in their place to understand why they acted that way. or why you think that certain way.
Thus, it will also help us to act optimally, since we will know better the cause of their behavior.
Related article: “Empathy, much more than putting yourself in someone else’s shoes”
8. Train attentive and active listening
In the same way, to understand the reason for the other person’s behavior, it is essential to listen to them and pay attention to know what they think or why they present the behavior that has caused our anger and the state of anger.
It is essential to train good communication skills to know how to both adequately express what we feel and think and how to receive well what the other individual tells us.
Related article: “The 10 basic communication skills”
9. Allow yourself moments of the day to reflect and be with yourself
Just as it is recommended to think before acting when we are in a state of anger, it is also beneficial to have our moments of reflection, to think and to be with ourselves, to be more aware of how we feel, what we feel, what worries us…in short, if there is something that makes us angry.
In this way it will be easier to know ourselves and thus have our moments of relaxation and tranquility.
10. Take time to relax and breathe
These practices can be done both during the state of anger and at other times of the day to help us be calmer. Relaxation and proper breathing, with short inhalations and long exhalations helps us reduce our general state of activationwhich as we have seen is a characteristic sign of anger and in the same way it is beneficial to have our moments of disconnection.
Some typical practices to exercise breathing and relaxation are yoga or meditation.
You may be interested: “6 easy relaxation techniques to combat stress”
12. Practice sports
Exercising is a good combatant or reducer of stress and anger. It is beneficial to find the practices that we like the most in order to generate a routinesince it has been seen that sport helps us mentally disconnect and reduce muscle tension, stress and anger, subsequently allowing us to perceive the situation with perspective to understand it better and act in a more adaptive way.
13. Train the search for solutions
It is important not to stay stuck in the problem or in the situation that causes us anger, in this way, it will be essential to practice generating solutions that help us act in the best way when we feel angry. Anger does not have to be the end result, but rather it should be an indicator that something is not right. in order to act and improve our state.
14. Rest well
To be able to better deal with different situations or not appear so frustrated or irritable It is very important to sleep and rest adequatelysleep the necessary hours (minimum 7 in general, or 7 and a half to 8 in adolescents, young adults and middle-aged people).
Related article: “The 7 main sleep disorders”
15. Don’t always be with toxic people
In order to prevent anger and feelings of anger, it is essential to flee from negative situations or people that we know do not bring us anything good and only do not create discomfort, thus affecting our daily lives.
16. If the situation overwhelms you, ask for professional help
As happens in many other situations, if you see that the proposed techniques are insufficient or the feelings of anger are uncontrollable and continually affect your functionality, Whenever you feel that the situation is getting out of hand, it is essential that you ask a professional for help..
With the support that psychologists offer, you can learn to emotionally manage your situation, and we will help you better understand the reason for your condition and how to use effective techniques and strategies to deal with it.
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