The 3 Stages Of Heartbreak And Its Psychological Consequences
Are you feeling the pain of an emotional breakup? It is very likely that at these moments you feel an emptiness, which can give rise to longing and melancholy. After a breakup, there is a grieving process which is part of the therapeutic experience of emotional healing in overcoming a wound. How would you define your situation?
There are different circumstances that can accompany a breakup. For example, it is not the same for a person to feel abandoned by their partner against their own personal desire as for this fact to be a mutually agreed upon decision. In other cases, heartbreak comes even after having fought for one last chance at couples therapy. But overall, there are a series of stages of heartbreak that explain what you are feeling during the process.
Heartbreak develops as time passes and expectations about what the future holds for us (single or with another person) and our way of interpreting what happened in our relationship with that person change. the one we wanted.
In this sense, it is worth highlighting the following phases of heartbreak.
1. The first emotional wound caused by heartbreak
In the first moment, The breakup brings with it the psychological impact And the fact is that, even in those cases in which there were already signs that the relationship was not going on the right path, the definitive end produces an impact because it reveals the reality of the farewell.
This hard blow causes a sensation similar to vertigo to arise: the lack of references about what we will do without that person makes everything around us seem to wobble and it is difficult for us to find something to hold on to in order to find certainty. Certainty about what is good for us, what we can expect from the future, what we should do from a moral point of view, etc.
It is a very unpleasant feeling that prevents us from even focusing our minds on the practical inconveniences of no longer having a possible love relationship with that person. Our attention is focused rather on the existential implications of knowing we are separated from that loving relationship that we had hoped for and that generated hope for us.
2. Emotional ambivalence towards the relationship we leave behind
At this stage, the affected person also feels the vital disorientation due to a chapter of his life that is closing and a new cycle that has yet to be written
On the one hand, the person sees with nostalgia that feeling of falling in love and the possible good moments lived with that person, coming to idealize that past based on a tragic reading of what has happened. But on the other, There is a desire to definitively break with the memories and references that anchor us to that relationship so that we stop measuring what makes us happy in relation to the standards and expectations set with that loving bond that is no longer part of everyday life.
For example, it can be hard to go from appreciating life as a couple or even considering it the only way to be ourselves, to considering it a part of our identity as single people once heartbreak and breakup have occurred.
Given this duality of past and future, it is possible experience contradictory feelings of longing for what was left behind and curiosity for that new horizon of the future. The person may even feel angry about what happened, an anger that is a form of denial of one’s own reality.
However, the grief is overcome when the protagonist assumes his own responsibility for what happened and accepts the story as it has been. In fact, in a breakup there is always responsibility on both parties, don’t you think?
3. The importance of the first year after the breakup
The first year after the breakup of a stable relationship is especially significant, because it is on this date when such nostalgic days as the couple’s anniversary, birthdays or Christmas parties are celebrated.
Beyond this first year, when sadness even affects the quality of life of the affected person, pathological grief can occur that shows a form of unhealthy sadness That is to say, the sadness that you experience in a heartbreak is a natural feeling, however, it is important not to dramatize this pain.
Put into practice the psychology of taking care of your mental hygiene right now. The sadness of heartbreak can lead to depression when the person positions themselves in this situation as a victim.
Those people who associate the idea of happiness with being in a relationship may suffer irrationally from loneliness If this is your case, it is very important that you reflect on your own personal beliefs so as not to prolong ideas that limit your personal development. There are many different paths to happiness. Therefore, do not let yourself be limited by social labels.
How to overcome a break of couple?
If you are experiencing a breakup, it is very important that enhance resilience personal to find support with which to face this emotional pain. For example, friendship is therapeutic because it provides company and comfort to heal the wounds of the heart. Overcoming a heartbreak does not mean forgetting the past, but rather integrating yesterday in a positive way into your own biography.
For example, you can say goodbye to your ex with respect and gratitude for the time shared together, but knowing that this is not a good time to be friends. Distance is healthy for your feelings to evolve. But, in addition, this real distance allows you assimilate personal change that this breakup has produced in your life.
For this reason, it is advisable to avoid even contact through social networks. This is a good time to reconnect with yourself, to enjoy your own company, while you enjoy simple and relaxing activities such as reading, movies, cooking or any activity that you like and helps you distract your mind.
The practice of sports It is also a health routine to overcome the negative thinking that heartbreak so often produces, through the vitality and energy that activates your mind and heart thanks to physical exercise. Walking every day for half an hour is a well-being incentive to heal the wounds of heartbreak through an activity that increases self-knowledge. Cheer up!
Positive attitude towards heartbreak
Your attitude is more important than external circumstances. You can find constructive meaning in a heartbreak if you manage to focus on a present goal that excites you. For example, your professional development can be an incentive for you, if you find a good opportunity at this time to boost your career.
If you need help after the breakup, you can also do online therapy. That is, an online psychologist can help you enhance introspection at this moment.
