The 3 Types Of Perfectionism, And How They Affect Us
Human beings have always been a very competitive animal, but the circumstances in which we live seem to be accentuating this trait. The increasing demands imposed on us in areas such as academics or work are a good example of this, fostering an insatiable and exhausting desire for self-improvement.
Society encourages the achievement of success and excessive ambition and even a multitude of parents and teachers directly convey this message to children practically from the moment they arrive into this world, which is why they develop cradled by the desire to “excel” in the facets that they judge to be most relevant.
This is the “seed” of perfectionism, which is planted in the fertile soil of an environment that promotes it, and which is fed by messages that we receive over time. In the end, a timid plant emerges that directs its branches to the fleeting light of acceptance (its own or that of others), but it soon grows and becomes a vine that is very difficult to get rid of.
The objective of this article is to delve into types of perfectionism that have been able to be classified, and in the way in which they are expressed. At the end, there will also be a brief review of the basic characteristics of maladaptive perfectionism. This seeks to understand a problem that affects more people every day.
Perfectionism is an attribute that is usually understood in two very different ways: either as a virtue that leads to excellence, or as a defect that leads us to frustration and failure. It is expressed as the determination of high personal standards that may be difficult to achieve; or as the tendency to evaluate oneself or others in an enormously critical and negative way. All of this ends up translating into hypervigilance for any possible error, which reduces the spontaneity of our actions.
Although perfectionism is not considered a pathological trait in itself , it has been possible to verify its contribution as a vulnerability factor to multiple psychopathologies; among which those of mood, anxiety and food stand out. And unbridled perfectionism can imply extraordinary rigidity, which conditions life and emotions to the point of “harming” those who make it their own. From the total inability to recognize fallibility (one’s own and/or others), to well-being subject to self-control or hypervigilance; All are very common examples of the harmful tendencies of clinical perfectionism.
On the other hand, there are also authors who do not conceive perfectionism as a problem or drawback, at least when it adjusts to a series of parameters. So, Adaptive and maladaptive forms have been described, depending on the specific way in which goals and concerns interact When both are high, an exaggerated imposition arises that torpedoes the vital project, but if ambitious objectives are reconciled with a healthy way of approaching them, a constructive balance is achieved. In this case we would talk about the adaptive modality.
Research on this last issue confirms that adaptive perfectionism is linked to an intense feeling of completeness with respect to existence, and that it also emerges as a protective factor against very diverse emotional problems. Pathological perfectionism, for which high goals and concerns (both) converge, is related to the opposite: life dissatisfaction and increased risk for psychological suffering.
In addition to this distinction between adaptive and maladaptive, perfectionism has also been classified into three subtypes based on the way it manifests. Let’s get to know them a little better.
Types of perfectionism
Three different forms of perfectionism have been described, depending on who is influenced (oneself or others) and the origin of the self-imposed demands. They are not mutually exclusive, and it is likely that the same person will present several at the same time. Below we will delve into its characteristics and effects.
1. Self-oriented
Self-oriented perfectionism is the one that most closely resembles the idea that is usually had about what this trait is. It implies the strict imposition of objectives and methods that must be adhered to to carry out the tasks for which responsibility is assumed, and from which the image we have of who we are is raised. That is why, in this case, the self-evaluation criterion is located at an unaffordable point; although it only applies to the subject that presents the attribute, and not to the others.
When this trait is related to low worry, and therefore is adaptive, it usually leads to extraordinary performance But if it presents with difficult emotional reactions, it can condemn the person who “suffers” from it to constant states of despair, and little personal self-realization, regardless of the achievements achieved.
2. Other-oriented
In this case, perfectionism implies rules that do not apply to the designer, but are projected only to his social environment Those who have this subtype impose on others how they should act, demanding levels of performance that become overwhelming and generate overwhelming stress. In this case, a position of privilege is usually assumed, with or without reason, that evolves into tyranny and is not governed by democratic principles. It is common in cluster B personality disorders, such as narcissistic or antisocial.
In its adaptive version (which lacks any anxious component), the nuance of emotional empathy is added to relationships with others, from which it follows good leadership skills However, a certain horizontality in communication would be required, despite maintaining a clear hierarchical structure.
3. Socially prescribed
Socially prescribed perfectionism is a subtype that is closely linked to interpersonal anxiety In these cases, whoever lives with him assumes high standards without them arising on his own initiative, but rather out of the belief that it is what others expect of him. It involves two different processes: an erroneous perception of other people’s expectations and an attitude of obedience to them. This perfectionism is related to low assertiveness, as well as a total panic of abandonment or rejection.
Of all the subtypes described here, is the one that most frequently precipitates problems in the area of ​​mental health , especially anxious pictures. It is also usually the social substrate of personality disorders included in cluster C, especially dependent disorders.
How is maladaptive perfectionism expressed?
Below we will review the basic characteristics of maladaptive perfectionism, or what is the same, the way in which it is expressed and suffered. It is in this case that the trait is discussed as a problem that requires clinical attention, given that its consequences can be dramatic for emotional health and quality of life.
1. High standards
Extremely perfectionist people They set very high goals for themselves that are sometimes difficult to achieve in the short term , which often makes them a common reason for frustration and pain. They extend to almost all areas of daily functioning, although they are especially common in work and academic areas.
These are, in the end, “ideal models” of behavior/thought that detract from naturalness and add a forced component to day-to-day activities. The way in which the person perceives himself and his practical skills (self-esteem / self-efficacy) would be associated with such subjective norms, being damaged as a direct consequence of his dissatisfaction.
2. Worry about making mistakes
Extremely perfectionist people tend to maintain constant vigilance against the possibility of making a mistake, which prevents them from fully enjoying what they dedicate their time to. Yes ok A certain degree of caution is common so that the result of an action is optimal , its excess leads to a recurring check that does not produce an objective improvement in the final product, but rather the sacrifice of many cognitive resources and an unfathomable feeling that something “is not quite right.” At the end of the process, the emphasis on the negative outweighs the appreciation of the positive.
Perfectionist people expect the results of their actions to be equivalent to the investment they make, ignoring in the process all the confounding variables that may contribute to them. Because the world is not always fair in the way it dispenses rewards/punishments, it is not surprising that unfavorable consequences are interpreted as an unacceptable failure that undermines self-image. And it is that there tends to be a strict internal attribution , stable and general of negative things that happen; which is why it is often difficult for them to work in a group (since it is a context where they do not control everything).
4. Parenting styles
Reviewing the life history of the excessively perfectionistic person usually leads to a pattern of family interaction characterized by rigidity and reinforcement restricted to achievement. These are styles marked by rectitude and extreme demands; in which positive behaviors are usually ignored, as they are judged as “normal.” Deviation from an exemplary standard imposed by parents, sometimes without detailing any reason, brings with it penalties all types. As time passes, these norms would become integrated as their own and would condition the way in which the person treats themselves.
5. Harshness in self-judgment
All people embrace a discourse within themselves regarding the way events happen. For example, in a difficult situation we can try to fuel our coping forces by telling ourselves things such as “I’m sure everything will turn out well” or “it’s not as serious as it seems.”
However, those who are excessively perfectionistic are always faced with the situation of a titanic task, which requires the massive investment of all your energies That is why when the expected purpose is not achieved, his speech becomes extremely harmful to the inner life (dissonance between effort-result). When it is achieved, however, only mental silence or temporary relief is observed.
6. Excess organization
Maladaptive perfectionism translates into a negative perception of the problems that occur in daily life, which are valued as a threat to the desired self-image. This supposes a risk of a discrepancy between the ideal self and the real self , which would be interpreted in an absolutely catastrophic way. In order to avoid such a circumstance, exhaustive prior preparation is usually chosen; that is, due to excess organization and planning. That is why activities that others carry out without difficulty can be made “uphill” for those who live with this trait.
