You are planning your new life in a country where you imagine that everything works almost perfectly, and is far superior, in every way, to your country of origin.
When you’ve visited, you haven’t seen any thefts, everything is clean, and people seem happier. Your expectations are high, but once you’re there, you realize you were wrong… Everything is even better.
But There comes a time when, suddenly, everything turns gray: The people are not so friendly, there is dirt, and suddenly you miss the food that your grandparents cooked for you. The feelings of loneliness increase more and more, everything seems strange, and you think that you are out of place…
Now, your home country doesn’t seem so bad anymore. What’s more, you would give anything to go back in time and never leave it.
I want to tell you that all of this is completely normal. There are certain patterns that tend to be repeated in a large number of cases when a person emigrates This is what has been called “culture shock” by experts.
Culture shock refers to adaptation process that an individual experiences after going from living in a cultural environment which is familiar to him or her, to another where things are different.
In general, it can be associated more when one moves to countries with great cultural differences (for example, if we go from Colombia to Japan, or from Spain to Saudi Arabia) but it can also be applied in cases where the differences are not so many. Of course, aspects such as language or certain common cultural roots must be taken into account.
Either way, There are four phases in the culture shock process which are used as a guide to understand this process.
Phase 1: Honeymoon
At first it is normal for one to feel incredibly motivated. Emigrating means new opportunities, meeting new people and greater personal growth. When we’re just starting out, everything new seems exciting
Of course, not everyone experiences this phase, since on many occasions, one must move to a place where they do not want to do so just for work reasons, or to accompany their partner or a family member. Not to mention in the case of children or adolescents who must go to a different country, leaving their friends and school behind
In any case, the honeymoon has been noted as a very normal stage that occurs during the first weeks or months after arriving in a new place. One aspect that causes problems is that many people may think that by changing their environment, perhaps many problems they had in their home or native country will disappear, which can generate some discomfort when seeing that there are no magic solutions. Although a change of environment can help you get a “clean slate,” it is not enough.
Phase 2: Frustration
If during the first time everything seemed wonderful, It’s not strange that later things don’t seem so great, and you go to the other extreme: Now the customs of the new country are annoying, people don’t know how to drive, there is nothing interesting to do, and everything at home was better.
Of course, after the honeymoon, when the excitement subsides a little, it is also normal that we begin to value what we had at home more, to miss our friends, our work, the family and the neighborhood pizzeria.
A key aspect of this phase is the feeling of loneliness and lack of belonging: Not only is one far away from one’s friends and family, but one also doesn’t know many people who fulfill a role of closeness and affection. The negative feelings associated with this phase, in turn, can cause one to enter a vicious cycle where one feels bad for being alone, and because of this, one does not feel like leaving the house and doing activities to meet people.
All of this is very common but, generally, this phase can be overcome. In many cases, time helps, but even more so does being proactive: take initiatives to meet people, take living in another country as an opportunity to travel, do activities or try other foods, for example.
Surely, the new country was not as wonderful as you thought at the beginning, nor is it as bad as you see it now. The attitude with which you face this situation will be key for this phase to last more or less time.
Phase 3: Adaptation
After making new friends and acquaintances, and after generating a new routine (probably incorporating habits of the new culture) we can say that the adaptation phase has been entered, where one begins to shape what their new life will be. and can evaluate in a more objective way the positive and negative aspects of this new country At the same time, you can also appreciate personal growth, in relation to the challenge that emigrating has meant (where one leaves their comfort zone in search of something different).
The mood improves significantly and one can integrate more fully into their new home: improving their ways of interacting with the locals, perfecting the language and knowing more and more how to function, in every sense, in this new country.
Phase 4: Acceptance
Finally, the new life is accepted, recognizing that feeling homesick is inevitable, but something that can be lived with Luckily, today technology allows you to keep in touch with your loved ones at a very low economic cost and even being able to see their faces if you make a video call, so it never hurts to take some time a week to give a call to family or friends, and even plan a trip to your country of origin, as often and desired as possible to serve as motivation to move forward.
It is at this moment that the person can feel like part of the new culture, and incorporate it into their own identity, without leaving aside their previous life.
This process is not always linear, and some stages can be more or less lasting depending on the person. In some cases, as previously mentioned, perhaps some phase does not manifest itself, not very noticeably. But, nevertheless, the important thing is to understand that emigrating can have its challenges, from a psychological angle, but this is not, at all, something strange or something that cannot be faced.
