The 4 Relationship Styles, According To The Johari Window
A difficulty in interpersonal relationships is the different impressions that each person makes of the other. So much so that, many times they lead to conflict, since they can treat us in a different way than we feel However, in others it can be easy, since we can discover, thanks to others, parts of our personality and character that we did not know.
Types of relationships according to the Johari Window
A simple and simple explanatory model of how the known and unknown parts of oneself are measured is the Johari Window, proposed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. In it, the “I”, the person themselves, are distinguished on a horizontal axis; while on the vertical axis “the other” or “the others”.
This is how they are formed 4 quadrants that distinguish four areas of self-knowledge in your relationships:
Explaining the picture
These four quadrants are dynamic, so They increase and decrease depending on our moment in life, the type of relationship we are in or the environment where we find ourselves But at the same time they are dependent, that is, a change in one of the areas has the consequence that the others are mobilized. This is how by making part of who we are known, we are reducing the hidden area and increasing the free area. This fact also implies that there are different paths to reach the same goal, for example, the free area also expands as the other lets us know how they see us, reducing the blind area.
The 16 different types of interpersonal relationships
Likewise, this model focuses on relationships with other people, in which knowledge of oneself is not only achieved through introspection, but also through information from the outside. In the same way, also when we relate, the other has his own model of his Johari window. Thus, There can be a total of 16 different types of relationships In order not to expand, only some of them will be focused on.
In both people the free area predominates. In this way, the relationship is characterized by clear and precise communication, since there are no hidden sides and there is the necessary knowledge to be understood and understood. They are relationships in which the empathy and acceptance, They allow us to understand the congruence that regulates how the other person does, thinks and feels They are people between whom communication flows and they are sincere towards each other. The key word in free area relationships is understanding.
The other person becomes a companion, someone who understands your needs, and you understand theirs; a person who knows what looks and gestures mean and who, despite the differences, knowing them makes you tune in. However, on the downside, there are no reservations and one may feel vulnerable. With a large free area, be careful with anger and rage, because sometimes we operate impulsively and if the free area is large, we know well where to hurt. In the same way, against clarity the mystery is lost; By making everything so clear, there are not many questions to ask about each other and the interaction can be dull. Well, with so much understanding you know how to ask for forgiveness; or how to provide spontaneity, but the question in these cases is, is there really intention?
Hidden area relations
In this case, the largest quadrant is that of the hidden area, therefore, the other is almost unknown. They are relationships that prioritize safety, staying safe and moving forward little by little so as not to be harmed They could be characterized as relationships with great respect for intimacy, while keeping one’s own area hidden implies paying special attention to the limits and borders where one’s own area and that of others begin. Therefore, the focus of the relationship is how to receive, and the key word for this type of relationship would be care.
However, they are relationships with fear as the main emotion, in which the fear of being hurt or of judgment may predominate. This can make it difficult to take steps and progress slowly along the entire path. There is also fear of conflict, so most likely there is a tendency to keep things quiet, until one day it explodes, of course. In the same way, if the tendency to hide is greater than to discover the other, communication can be tangential, unclear, so that people never meet.
Blind area relations
These are relationships in which people have a greater impact on their blind zone. Unlike hidden area ones, Every day is a discovery, but about how one is as a person They are relationships based on giving, characterized by being very sociable; We could say extroverted and impetuous. The main axis is communication, specifically expressing how the other person is perceived; interpersonal explorers.
Therefore, they are a source of personal learning that promote greater self-knowledge, in which you see yourself in the eyes of others. This is how its keyword is grow. But be careful, sometimes they don’t grow for the better. On the other hand, prejudices are likely to appear and in discussions the other person can be accused of being something they are not and, what is worse, they may believe it. Likewise, impetuosity more easily leads to conflicts, since we are not always happy with how we are told we are; and focusing on giving can also be bad at those times.
Blind-hidden area relationships
They are stimulating relationships, since for the blind area explorer, there is a whole huge hidden area to bring to light in the other person It is a challenge to discover it and a mystery to know how the other person understands the world. Likewise, for the careful concealer, another challenge is also added, to continue staying safe, not to be discovered. They are relationships that motivate like a game: discover and hide. Seen as a game, they are characterized by having many ups and downs and surprises because they do not have a stable rhythm; Today the die hits a 1, tomorrow a 6, the next time I go back to the first square! Because of this, its key word is intensity.
On the contrary, be careful that the expectations that are created may not be met and what’s more, if you dig too much into the other, rejection may occur. They are relationships that can have a tendency towards toxicity due to dependence and counter-dependence; one for becoming obsessed with unraveling secrets and the other for the comfort of having a person constantly by his side. There may then be imbalances in the rhythm of each person in the relationship; While the blind takes steps without looking, the hidden one watches each one. Likewise, their instability could turn them into fragile relationships, where both people can easily damage and hurt each other.
Some nuances and questions in the air
Relationships between strangers may be missed, but in those cases, how can we talk about a relationship? After all, it is the beginning of all of them, meeting a person and not knowing what they are like, as well as not knowing what you will be like when you interact with them. Because if the Johari Window is dynamic, so are all the typologies that derive from it. After being strangers, who knows if knowing the other will motivate us and we will be blind; or we will have cracks from past experiences and prefer to remain hidden
Who knows if after taking shelter we gain enough confidence and go on to discover the other, let the light in and blind ourselves. Who knows if in our exploration of the mysteries we are hurt and we hide, we protect ourselves. But if you do not know the path well, if you know the end, a free area in which you simply are, in which you simply are, well, as its name says, free.
