The 5 Practical Keys To Master Non-verbal Language
There are many myths and ignorance about nonverbal language
Gestural communication and everything we transmit with our physical expression is of cardinal importance when communicating with other human beings. In fact, experts say that Up to 80% of what we transmit is done non-verbally, and only 20% has to do with our words Surprising, right?
Despite this, its importance is unquestionable, since for many years a large part of the communication of the human species It was based exclusively on gestures, expressions and grunts
Through this limited form of information exchange, the human being had to be able to understand if someone harbored friendly intentions or not, if there was something to worry about immediately, or if they had any possibility of mating with other members of the tribe.
The growing proliferation of scientific studies has allowed us to understand the function of non-verbal language in greater detail, but in some cases it has also contributed to creating an overly extremist view of its importance.
The reality is that in most situations conclusions cannot be drawn from a single gesture separately They must be integrated within a context and a set of signals in order to give real meaning to that expression.
The science of body language still has many enigmas to reveal, but you can start with these five concepts that will allow you to improve your social skills and mastery of non-verbal communication
1. You express what you feel and you feel what you express
There is a physiological mechanism, called proprioception, that establishes a pathway of double meaning between your emotions and your body language And that has enormous advantages for those who know how to use it to their advantage.
When you feel an emotion or a feeling invades you, your neurons send an order to your muscles to adopt a certain posture. If you feel insecure, for example, the consequence is that you will end up crossing your arms to establish a barrier.
However, some studies have shown that the opposite way also exists. If you consciously adopt a posture of insecurity, your mind will begin to experience the corresponding emotion. Your brain understands that if it is showing that gesture it is because it should feel that certain way.
The good news is that it is possible to use this double route to create positive states If you adopt a confident posture, such as a high head and shoulders straight, you will begin to feel more confident and relaxed.
2. The further away from the brain, the less control
Several investigations have concluded that the arms, hands and torso are the most easily controllable conscious parts of the body. That is why many people are able to pretend through their non-verbal language that they feel some emotions, when in reality they are experiencing others.
But it also seems that the further away a part of the body is from the central nervous system, the less conscious control we can exert over it. It is probably a matter of lack of attention rather than physical distance, but in any case we tend to pay less attention to the position of our legs than that of our arms.
It is a good idea that in addition to paying attention to the body language of the upper part of the torso pay attention to your interlocutor’s feet because they will provide you with very valuable information. Our feet usually point towards what interests us, be it a person or an escape route, and often go completely unnoticed.
3. The face is the mirror of the soul
Facial expressions are also usually quite representative of someone’s mood. In fact, there are even theories that link facial features with personality, such as Morphopsychology.
During many years of evolution we have had to be able to communicate emotions accurately to survive as a species. In this context and due to the large number of existing facial muscles, the face has become the most reliable mirror of the soul.
Although there are many nuances, there are 4 to 6 basic emotions that our facial microexpressions are able to communicate: joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust and surprise. Each one involves certain facial muscles and must be integrated within a global context that includes the rest of body language and oral communication.
It is possible to falsify to some extent the facial microexpressions to camouflage feelings, but It is practically impossible to consciously control all the muscles involved That is why there are always clues such as the lack of elevation of the cheeks and eyes in the false expression of joy:
4. Imitating the posture builds confidence
There is scientific evidence to support the fact that when two people like each other or spend a lot of time together, They tend to unconsciously adopt the same body language Much of the responsibility lies with emotional contagion through mirror neurons.
Imitating another person’s body language is a simple and easy way to start establishing a bond of trust, although it should be done carefully so that it is not obvious.
To get it you must be selective in what you imitate: do not copy gestures that would not be natural to you, do not imitate them immediately after your interlocutor performs them, and vary their amplitude and intensity. It is also a good idea to avoid reproducing negative expressions so as not to increase their contagion, although it will depend on each specific situation.
Although it may seem manipulative, it is not when the target is honest. Many people with great social skills You have incorporated it unconsciously to get your interlocutor to relax and open up to deeper conversations.
5. Contact with oneself reveals a lot of information
Another way to get a lot of information from non-verbal language is through the type of contact with oneself.
instinctively little children cover their eyes when they don’t want to see something or they cover their ears when they don’t like what they hear. They also cover their mouth with a finger when they want to silence their interlocutor. Although with less intensity, these gestures usually last into adulthood.
When someone touches their eyes, ears or mouth it may be a unconscious attempt to block something you don’t like To avoid misinterpretations (such as that his eye really stings) you should also take into account other signs that confirm that conclusion.
On the other hand, touching oneself by joining hands or rubbing arms may indicate a need for support, perhaps inherited from the comfort in the form of physical contact that our parents offered us in childhood. This sign can help you sense that someone is feeling uncomfortable and needs to feel supported.
