The 5 Signs Of Envy: How To Recognize It In People
There is something that we often forget: our way of knowing ourselves goes through compare the experiences that happen to us with those that happen around us Living in society is essential to form what we call self-concept, which is the set of ideas that we associate with the “I”. To judge and value those characteristics in which we stand out for better or worse, we must see how life is going for other people.
This, for some things, is positive, since it allows us to demand that injustices be corrected. But it also has its bad side, since favors the appearance of envy
Envy is what happens when a state of discomfort appears caused by the comparison between oneself and others, and we do not like the result of this mental operation. It is a phenomenon closely related to self-esteem, because it appears when it is threatened by new information about third parties with whom we consider we can compare ourselves.
However, envy is not something negative just because it makes us feel bad. Furthermore, it is because How does it interfere with the way we relate? On the one hand, as we will see, it gives us a reason to show a certain hostility to the person we envy. On the other hand, envy is something socially frowned upon, which is why those who experience it try to hide the fact that they feel that way, even if they manage to make their passive-aggressive or directly aggressive attitude towards the other person apparently rationally justified. .
However, There are ways to know approximately when a person acts out of envy Whoever feels this way is not able to completely mask those causes that move them to behave in a certain way, for different reasons. In the following lines we will review several signs that denote envy. The fact that one or two of them are present does not mean that what is happening is exactly a problem of wounded egos, but in general, they help to understand what is happening due to probabilities.
1. Badly justified animosity
One of the characteristics of envy, as we have seen, is that it arises from a compromised or damaged self-esteem. This makes the emotional impact of these comparisons generate something that in psychology is known as cognitive dissonance
This phenomenon has to do with the discomfort that appears when a piece of information contradicts a deeply rooted belief whose defense defines us as people. Paradoxically, what usually happens in these cases is not that we try to readjust our ideas to have a more realistic understanding of what is happening, but that we make the minimum changes necessary to assimilate that data.
In the case of envy, one of the ways in which cognitive dissonance is resolved is by assuming that the person with whom one compares oneself is someone despicable, so that What at first could seem like a threat to our self-esteem ends up being a sign of vanity a deception to have a good image in front of others, a trick, an illegitimate use of the efforts of others to take credit, etc.
Under the effects of envy, the person feels in the dilemma of expressing his hostility while trying to appear superior to the person with whom the comparison has arisen.
This means that ambiguous ways of attacking are used, such as through supposed jokes and sarcasm, since they allow one to have a dominant role (even if it is for a few seconds) without it seeming that there is a certain need to satisfy one’s own ego to reduce cognitive dissonance.
Thus, what is really a way to alleviate the discomfort that is felt, is disguised as displays of ingenuity or even affability. This It is one of the most frequent signs of envy
3. Unjustified outbursts of anger
This is not something that occurs in all people who feel envy, but only in some people with a more impulsive nature. Since damage to self-esteem gives reasons to feel hostility towards someone, it may happen that one looks for excuses to attack the person who is considered better than oneself. In this sense, something that can be interpreted as a way of boasting about one’s own merits It can be almost unbearable for someone who is going through one of those “envious stages.”
4. Replicas in the presence of more people
In envy, the fact that there are more people listening increases the discomfort in the face of what is interpreted as signs of the other’s superiority.
This is especially true if the personal characteristic on which one feels attacked is something relatively unique or uncommon. For example, if in a meeting there are two poets who are recognized for their talent, of the two artists, the one who feels more threatened by the other’s abilities will have more reason to feel attacked, because remaining silent would be like giving attention to the other person. and make it possible for him to “sell himself” to others just as he wants.
It is quite typical, because speaking badly about someone behind their back is seen as an easy way to undermine your public image from relative safety without giving them the opportunity to show that in reality the only thing they are looking for is to cause harm so that it is easier to think that that person is not “a competitor”, since no one takes them seriously.
Conclusion: jealousy can be cured at home
It must be clear that the basis of the problem of jealousy basically has to do with wounded self-esteem. That is the problem is one’s own, and not the other’s
It is possible that a mentality very focused on competitiveness and constant comparisons makes us more vulnerable to this psychological phenomenon. Therefore, it is good to change both the concept we have of ourselves and our philosophy of life.
