Relationships are complex. It’s not just a matter of loving yourself: maintain a balance between passion, intimacy and commitment , communicating properly and having a relationship that allows both members of the couple to grow and mutually enrich their lives requires great effort. In this context, it is not unusual that throughout the relationship different types of conflicts may appear that the couple will have to face, and sometimes they may not be able to do so on their own.
An alternative available, if there is a desire to improve the situation, is to seek professional help: it may be necessary to go to a professional to help us perform couples therapy. However, couples therapy is not a homogeneous thing that is always put into practice in the same way; different schools of thought have developed different approaches that may be more or less useful depending on the problem in question. In this article we are going to discuss what couples therapy is in general and some of the types of couples therapies that exist
The type of treatment or procedure that is used at a professional level is called couples therapy. in order to improve the situation and relationship of a couple given the existence of some type of problem that interferes with its normal functioning or that generates suffering for one or both parties.
This type of therapy is very useful for couples with major problems and conflicts or for those seeking to solve minor problems that may affect the relationship.
The most common thing is that behind the different problems hides the presence of some type of frustration or dissatisfaction with some aspect of the relationship, usually linked to or worsened by lack of communication.
It is possible that there is no clear demand beyond the presence of relational problems, with one of the main aspects to work on being to elucidate the reason for the dissatisfaction with the aim of finding means to reduce it and introduce changes that allow the resolution of the problems. conflicts. However, In other cases the cause of the conflict may be more limited to a circumstance situation or specific discrepancy.
Some of the main causes that usually lead a couple to go for a consultation They tend to be the appearance of infidelity, problems or absence of communication, bad coexistence, presence of jealousy, emotional dependence, fertility problems, sexual dysfunctions, absence of shared goals or perception of lack of involvement on the part of one of the parties, discrepancies in the education of children, structural discrepancies at the level of problems of hierarchy or lack of equity in power or unexpected problems such as the death of a child or the diagnosis or suffering from a chronic or terminal medical illness or a mental disorder.
Types of couples therapy according to its paradigm
All these problems can be observed and treated from very different theoretical and practical perspectives For example, some of them may focus more on emotional factors or the sensations of their members while others are based more on the existence of family roles and structures or on more cognitive aspects. All of them are considered couples therapy and all of them are useful in different situations.
Below we are going to see some of the main types of couples therapy that exist. based on the theoretical current from which they start
1. Systemic couples therapy
One of the best-known types of couples therapy, and which also leads to the application of family therapy, is that which is based on the systemic paradigm.
In this case, the relationship is seen as an open system in which an exchange of roles, norms and relationships occurs. Most problems are usually linked to communication problems, lack of understanding or expression of the needs of each member of the couple or of the emergence or maintenance of fixed roles that become dysfunctional and generators of suffering.
2. Cognitive-behavioral couples therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most prevalent and recognized today in most facets of psychology. This type of therapy It is usually linked to the cognitions, beliefs, expectations and thoughts of each subject as well as in the behaviors derived from them.
Thus, it is common for this paradigm to work on divergences in terms of expectations in the relationship, the presence of behaviors that cause suffering for one of the parties. Situations are worked on in which there is excessive control or low mutual reinforcement.
3. Psychodynamic couples therapy
Couples therapy carried out from a psychodynamic perspective usually focuses on the presence of conflicts produced in childhood or early development as the cause of the generation of relationship problems in the present. Also The use of defense mechanisms such as projection into the other is analyzed of one’s own fears or the introjection of characteristics of the other into the individual’s own self.
Other notable aspects are the high value given to the therapeutic relationship and the conscious and unconscious fantasies of each of the members of the couple, especially with regard to the relationship.
4. Humanistic couples therapy
Another type of couples therapy, perhaps less known than the previous ones, is that based on the humanistic approach. From this approach, the aim is for the members of the couple to develop and optimize their potential, tear down masks and roles and self-discover themselves. It is considered to be the development of the individuality of each member of the couple which will lead to a stronger union between the two.
Until now we have talked about different types of couples therapy based on the paradigm from which it is based, but these are not the only ones that exist. We can find within these same paradigms different ways of conceptualizing and carrying out therapy.
For example, there is therapy focused on emotions (in which the aim is to improve the bond through emotional expression and overcoming vicious circles of negative emotions) or the comprehensive one based on acceptance and commitment to the problematic situation (for example, suffering from a chronic disorder). There are also therapies more focused on certain aspects of the relationship, as is the case with sex therapy.
Does the therapeutic process fail in case of rupture?
It would be a mistake to consider that the goal of couples therapy is to avoid breakup in all contexts. Artificially extending the duration of a romantic relationship does not make sense Yes, this is based on fundamental failures, and in cases like this, couples therapy is a means by which to reach this conclusion and be able to move on to the breakup without feelings of guilt and “what would have happened if…”.
In the same way, it helps that when ending the relationship this is done on the best possible terms. It is, in short, a way to explore possibilities, maximizing the probability that the relationship will continue if it has the potential to work.
