Generally speaking, tantrums are especially common in the first year of life; between two and three years, they become more occasional, until they disappear almost entirely, between four and five years (although we can find exceptional cases).
In this article we will focus on explaining the five most common types of tantrums in childhood, depending on their cause and their pattern of action. In addition, we will explain in detail why they occur and how they constitute a necessary behavior for the formation of one’s own identity and for emotional self-regulation.
Before delving into the different types of tantrums in childhood, we will explain what they consist of. Tantrums in childhood encompass a series of manifestations, as well as actions, both emotional and physical, carried out by a child with the purpose of expressing a series of negative emotions (such as frustration or anger).
That is, they are emotional explosions that are experienced very intensely, which causes them to be expressed with great impetus (in short periods of time).
These explosive manifestations can include different behaviors, such as: crying, screaming, tantrums, agitation, oppositional behaviors (for example not wanting to get up from the ground), falling to the ground, etc.
A phase of normal development
Tantrums in childhood are part of a phase of evolutionary development; That is, it is a natural process in the child, which will help him or her acquire the following skills or competencies: tolerance for frustration, the ability to delay gratification, and the ability for self-management and self-control.
On the other hand, it is important to highlight that tantrums develop in the context of a process of formation of one’s own identity, and that they help the child seek autonomy and self-reaffirmation.
What types of tantrums in childhood exist? Based on what do we classify them? What is the difference between them? We will tell you about it in the next section.
The main types of tantrums in boys and girls
As we said, there are different types of tantrums in childhood. The classification that we propose here is the one that organizes them according to their causes. We tell you in detail what each of them consists of, and how we can act to manage them:
1. Tantrum to get attention
These are tantrums to get the attention of caregivers; When the child throws a tantrum of this type, what he/she wants is to get attention, usually from the parents, as well as dominate them.
How can we act?
What do we do with these types of tantrums? First of all, it will be important to analyze their origin. On the other hand, the ideal is that we attend to the minor only when he/she is calm (not in the middle of a tantrum).
Once we detect that what he really wants is to get our attention, we must proceed to not attend to him, while at the same time making him see that this behavior is not appropriate to obtain our attention.
2. Tantrum to get something
In the second type of tantrums in childhood, the purpose is different; in this case, get or obtain something. That is, satisfying a need or fulfilling a desire.
How can we act?
In this case, the ideal would be that we apply extinction; That is, stop paying attention to the behavior (which implies stopping reinforcing it), watching at all times, that is, that the child does not hurt himself (for example if we are on the street and he walks away) .
As soon as the child calms down, we will explain alternative behaviors to get what he or she wants (for example, asking for things well, without crying or yelling). Let us remember, always depending on the age of the child, adapting our language and our explanations. On the other hand, we will also highlight the inappropriateness of her behavior.
3. Tantrum to avoid something
In this type of tantrums the objective is to avoid something (for example going to a certain place, eating a certain type of food, etc.). Thus, the child in question does not want to follow the orders or instructions of his/her parents (or teachers, caregivers, etc.), and therefore expresses the tantrum.
How can we act?
In these types of tantrums in childhood we must, as in the previous ones, make the child understand that this is not the way to act if they want to achieve something; In this specific case, we can choose to use conciliatory phrases, such as: “I know you want to spend more time in the park, but now is the time to go.” It is important to validate your emotion, but not your way of expression.
4. Tantrum due to fatigue
In the next of the types of tantrums in childhood, their cause is tiredness or fatigue (added to the inability to sleep). They occur especially in younger children, when they do not yet have sufficiently developed language to express how they feel.
How can we act?
In this case we will act by showing our understanding and helping them fall asleep (depending on age, time of day, etc.).
5. Frustration tantrum
Finally, the next type of tantrum appears due to a feeling of frustration over a situation or event. For example, it can appear when the child wants to get something and does not get it, when he/she is scolded for bad behavior, etc.
When a tantrum appears in the child because he/she does not get what he/she wants, we must value the effort that he/she has made (in the event that this has existed), at the same time that we help him/her understand. that we will not always be able to get everything we want, and that is not why we should be like this.
Causes of tantrums
As we have seen, the causes of tantrums are multiple, which allows us to classify the different types of tantrums in childhood.
Generally, and depending on the age of the child, tantrums arise in situations of frustration (which is why it will be essential to work on frustration tolerance in them), or in situations where they do not understand what is happening. happening.
If we add to this the evolutionary immaturity typical of this life stage, as well as the presence of a language still under construction, it is logical that this type of behavior appears.
In this way, and as a summary, we can say that tantrums arise:
General guidelines for action
As we have also seen, depending on the cause of the tantrum, the action will be one or another, although they should all go in the same direction; Make the child understand that these behaviors are not appropriate to get what they want or to express their discomfort, and that there are more appropriate behaviors for this.
It is important to always act from empathy and understanding, since, let us not forget that tantrums are part of psychoaffective development. Let’s think that, in the long run, managing these behaviors will help the child self-regulate and manage their emotions in an adaptive and healthy way.
