Parenting is an internal process through which we feel capable of being fathers/mothers and bonding with our children. Now, this is not an easy task. In this article We will see what the main challenges of parenting are and the implications of each of them in our lives.
In the 21st century, being parents requires an important ability to tolerate uncertainty and adapt to changes at high speed. But there is something that does not change, despite historical and cultural changes: the need to create a secure and supportive bond
In this process, there are some challenges that are presented to us and that we will have to face to respond to the needs of our children in a “good enough” way:
1. Feeling adults
Regardless of our age, the degree of maturity we feel can vary. When we feel like adults, We take responsibility for our own lives and position ourselves as protagonists of it Having achieved a certain degree of internal coherence and trust in our resources makes the task of being parents easier.
2. Resignify the links themselves
When we become parents, we place ourselves in a completely new role that is qualitatively different from any other bond we have experienced before. From this new position, our image as children and siblings can change and acquire new meanings
Especially important is the renewal of the bond with our parents. The image we had about them can change, understanding their behaviors from another perspective.
3. Caring, sustaining and teaching the world
The main parental functions are to care for, support and teach the world to their children. When caring for them, we provide them with basic physical care but we also help them to know and coordinate their own body. When we talk about the ability to sustain, we are referring to the acceptance of your emotions, whatever they may be.
As parents, one of our tasks is based on Help our children express their emotions in an appropriate and tolerable way Furthermore, when we introduce them to objects and show them the world, we help them relate to and live in it.
4. Accept imperfection
From the moment the desire to have a child arises, we also begin to visualize ourselves as mothers or fathers. We imagine what our child will be like and what we will be like when we are raised But when the baby is born and, as it grows, one of the tasks to perform will be to get to know it and discover what it really is like. If reality is very different from the expectations we had, difficulties may arise.
In the relationship with our children, there will be moments of frustration, of greater and lesser understanding, but if we accept this as something normal, without hyperdemand or guilt, the ability to contain and sustain will be maintained.
As soon as it is born, the baby depends totally on our care and our view and assessment. If everything goes well, We will develop our sensitivity to tune in to your needs and respond to them We will also be able to admire him.
But, as they grow, this dependence should become less and less, to the extent that our children learn and develop resources to do things for themselves. It is important to leave them space and time to develop their own capabilities, both at an instrumental level and at the level of self-regulation and emotional support.
6. Transmit the desire to live
Children capture our emotions and feel the family atmosphere. It is not about denying negative emotions or always being happy, but it is about conveying that life is worth it and let them experience it at their own pace.
Conclusion
In short, from the moment the desire to have a child appears in us, we assume ourselves as adults, responsible and with resources to deal with parenting. We may face some challenges, especially when we have had difficulties in our relationship with our family of origin or have developed very high expectations regarding parenthood.
In any case, It is not about being perfect, but about being receptive and available to our children Our main function as parents is to give our children the ability to be themselves. That is, the ability to think for themselves and the confidence that they have the resources to face their own life.
