The concept of “couple relationship” is easy to learn, but it is not easy to apply in all cases.
In theory, it is an emotional and relational bond based on mutual commitment and the establishment of future plans together; However, these plans do not always end up fully materializing. This is what explains, for example, that in Western countries between a third and a half of marriages end in divorce, and that the majority of relationships in general end in breakup.
There are many variables that help to understand what makes some relationships work in the long term and others do not prosper Here we will see which are the most important, focusing on the characteristics of relationships that tend to last indefinitely.
These are the psychological and communicative elements that are generally present in stable couples that last longer.
1. There is a coexistence without interruptions
In general, relationships in which one has already “learned” to live with the other person for several months in a row, and sharing a good part of the hours of the day, prosper much more than those in which both people barely coincide. , either due to having different work schedules or being in a long-distance relationship.
This is due to several reasons, among which the possibility of having moments of close intimate contact (whether sexual in nature or not), the fluidity of communication and the fact of having a “synchronized” lifestyle that makes it easy to set goals together. Furthermore, in these “healthy” couple relationships, one is able to enjoy the presence of the other through frequent moments dedicated to being together. These stimulating and pleasant experiences are a source of incentive to keep the relationship going
2. They are not based on fear of loneliness
Relationships that have been started because at least one of the people involved is afraid of “being alone” are unlikely to work in the long term. This is because The reason why that person continues to be next to the other is due to an individualistic way of thinking from which it is very difficult to create a genuine commitment.
3. There are no clear power asymmetries
When one of the members of the couple has all the decision-making power in the vast majority of areas of life that affect that relationship, it is likely that that loving bond will not last long. The reason is that Many very damaging problems for the relationship can arise from situations like this: appearance of arguments due to frustration, appearance of roles of codependency and dominance of the other, communication problems, etc.
4. There is an interest in satisfying the other sexually
Not all couples have to have a very intense sexual life (it is perfectly normal not to have a high level of libido), but for them to work, yes. There must be a constant flow of communication and interest to know what the other person wants, and what you like, without taking anything for granted and without creating taboo topics. Of course, this must occur for both parties at the same time, so that a balance is found between the interests of both.
5. Establishment of limits in each person’s spaces
Although it may seem paradoxical, relationships that do not completely absorb both people work much better than those that do. In the long term, a marriage or courtship should offer each individual their own spaces and moments in which to dedicate themselves to themselves and even the ability to have your own secrets: not all information has to be shared, especially if its content does not affect the other person.
6. Clear joint goals
Another aspect that occurs in long-term relationships has to do with having well-defined, long-term shared objectives. This means going beyond abstract ideas like “being happy together.” and get specific about the type of life you want to have years from now. For this reason, disappointments, misunderstandings and unpleasant surprises are avoided.
Are you looking for psychological assistance services for couples?
If you are interested in starting a couples therapy process, contact us. In Psychoconsulting We work offering the tools to learn to communicate, manage emotions and handle conflicts in a constructive way in the context of a loving relationship, both in sessions in which both members of the couple are present, and in individualized psychotherapy sessions. . In addition, we work in person at our center in Barcelona but also online through video calls.
