In this article I would like to talk about emotions, and in more detail, the six emotions we least like to feel: shame, sadness, fear, anger, jealousy and blame.
When I am in front of a patient, I try to convey to him the importance of knowing himself not only through what he thinks, and through how he acts with himself and with others, but also through what you feel The emotional area is sometimes a forgotten area in many self-help books, and yet it is essential for changes to occur.
Knowing our emotions means that we know how to detect when we feel them, that we can name them (“What I feel is sadness”), that we notice them physically (“I notice it in the chest area”), and that we can regulate how we want them to go outside (Cry, talk, write about it…).
The six emotions that make us feel the worst
Almost all patients agree that The emotions they least like to feel are the following::
Shame
This emotion is accompanied by a internal self-criticism: “What nonsense I say”, “They’re going to think I’m…”, “they are going to laugh at me”… Shame usually occurs in people with greater insecurity, less self-confidence, and low self-esteem. It is an emotion that causes a blockage in relationships with others, and therefore, essential to work on in therapy.
I recommend this post so that you can get to know the critic within you: “Why do I hate myself? Causes and solutions”
Sadness
Although you don’t like to feel it, sadness may be one of the easiest to detect. It can create doubts as to whether we are feeling it too intensely or not, and we may believe that we are falling into depression, when what is happening is that we are experiencing a normal period of depression. It is essential to make this distinction between sadness and depression “I feel like crying constantly”, “I don’t feel like doing anything”, “I only see the negative”…
It appears whenWe understand that there may be a real or imagined danger If it is real, the fear is adaptive, if it is an imaginary danger, that fear can become slavery. “And if such a thing happens…”, “And if I don’t get this…”, “And if…”.
To delve deeper into this emotion, you can consult: “What is fear for?”
Anger
Of all the emotions I am going to talk about, this is the one that can produce the most ambivalence, in the sense that there are people who can tolerate anger, what happens is that sometimes they don’t handle it in an adaptive way Either they silence it or it comes out uncontrollably, in the form of anger (yelling, insulting…). Anger is important in order to be able to set limits, to express what I do not agree with or do not like or what hurts me about the other person, as long as it is respecting the other. “I don’t like this about your behavior, it makes me angry that you tell me…”.
About anger, I can suggest a couple of articles that can help you manage it:
Jealousy
When they appear they appear in front of a third person. That person is considered a rival and if the expression of jealousy is not handled, It can become a feeling of wanting to “dominate” or “possess” the other person It tends to create distancing and is destructive in relationships. “He loves him more than me, he pays more attention to him than me…”.
Blame
It would be the “Jiminy Cricket” that we all have inside us and that appears when we have harmed another person “It’s your fault”, “you should have done it differently”…
