Evolutionary crises are imbalances around different moments of development that indicate that one stage has ended and another has begun. There are different types of crises and in general, they should not be a greater problem than vital readaptation. However, the opposite can happen and constitute a serious problem of maladjustment and confusion for many people.
We are social beings, therefore, our life takes place in the field of interpersonal relationships. In this regard, it is not surprising that the family is so important and within it close and stable ties are formed over time. As in all groups, the family also goes through different stages in its life cycle and of course, it goes hand in hand with the individual evolutionary development of the members that make it up.
Consequently, it is crucial that the family maintains the capacity for transformation intact throughout its life in response to various changes and if this does not happen, it will not be able to respond functionally to the needs of each individual and that is when they arise. evolutionary crises in the family context Although it may seem negative, they are universal, expected and necessary in a healthy evolutionary process.
In today’s article we will review the different evolutionary crises that occur within the family nucleus. Keep reading to discover the different stages that mark a turning point and favor the transition to a new cycle.
1. Initial stage of marriage
Forming a couple and deciding to live together in the same home is an evolutionary crisis. It must be taken into account that It is necessary to reach agreements on how to manage the relationship with the families of origin of each member of the couple organize practical aspects of daily life together (household tasks, management of the economy and leisure, etc.).
It is quite a challenge to put aside the values of the family of origin in order to adopt others more suitable for the couple, in a consensual and conscious way. In other words, the couple makes the complicated decision to separate themselves from parental influence.
2. Birth of a child
Having a first child is a clear example of a turning point for couples. The birth of a child generates great satisfaction, but at the same time, it implies a series of difficulties that lead the couple to reorganize their time and activities. In short, it means that parents have to assume a new role. It is normal that it is difficult to adapt to the new role, since From this moment on, the parents’ world no longer revolves solely around themselves or the couple’s relationship, but in the newborn. They go from being two to being three and it is a strong change that entails many adaptations. The birth of the second or third child also represents a strong turn full of learning and evolution.
3. Be grandparents
The arrival of a newborn not only impacts the parents, but also the extended family such as grandparents. They are experiencing their own evolutionary crisis. They must also adapt new roles and have to maintain a balance between wanting to help their child and grandchild and, at the same time, respecting their space. In fact, it is common for conflicts to appear in this evolutionary crisis due to the difference in opinions of grandparents and parents when it comes to raising children, the most appropriate times for visits, etc. Grandparents may have very different ideas than the couple regarding the education of new family members and this can generate conflicts and tension in the couple.
At this stage, the children grow and the parents accompany them and the conflicts caused by the children’s transition to adolescence are added. It is an extremely complicated stage for family unity. On the one hand, there is the adolescent trying to gain freedom and independence from her parents, which generates a lot of tension for each parent and between the couple. Conflicts may arise about how to educate the adolescent, how to change the situation, and even issues from the past may begin to be blamed. Of course, The family climate worsens significantly if there is drug and alcohol consumption, school failure and other critical situations
5. Loss of a loved one
The process of mourning and longing is a clear evolutionary crisis. It produces a change inside the person, it does not necessarily change their entire previous reality, but it does involve significant emotional developments. It must be taken into account that each family has a particular way of dealing with death, depending on whether they have had previous experiences of other deaths, how they face pain, how they manage emotions and the way in which they face adversity. All of this directly influences the individual grieving process of each family member and, consequently, the family as a whole.
The readjustment of the family system requires time and dedication on the part of each of the components to regain a new balance. After all, when one of the family members dies, roles and interactions change drastically. Many times, it is difficult to rearrange the family structure, since the pain of death and different dysfunctional ways of coping with it significantly complicate the process. Therefore, it is common for this evolutionary crisis to cause many families to lose relationships or distance themselves after grieving.
It refers to the set of thoughts and emotions that parents experience when their children leave home. It is something extremely common since that child that you had inside for nine months, whom you have raised and educated with all the love, you have experienced his failures and successes as if they were yours, one day, decides to leave. People call it the “Law of Life”, but it is still a duel with its stages of denial, anger, depression and finally, acceptance.
Empty nest syndrome can affect one of the parents who has dedicated their entire life to their children, leaving aside other roles in their life, creating a dependency on their infants and consequently, it is not surprising that when they leave home the father falls into said syndrome. However, it can go one step further and the departure of the child from home may cause a conflict for the couple. They may realize that they do not know how to live together or that they no longer have anything in common, therefore, this makes them miss each other much more and generate sadness.
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