The 6 Main Self-esteem Problems Common In Childhood
Childhood is not only the time when we most quickly learn about how the world works; Furthermore, it is in this first phase of life where our self-concept is configured for the first time, that is, the entire set of knowledge and beliefs about the “I” and everything that it implies: who we are, what we like, what we are about. capable, etc.
However, this is not a process of pure extraction of objective knowledge. Along with those ideas that we internalize about who we are as individuals, we also associate a whole series of emotions and feelings with all facets of our “Self”; That is to say, everything we know or think we know about ourselves has a strong emotional charge that affects us whether we want it or not. And in childhood, it is relatively easy for us to find it difficult to manage these emotions or to build an erroneous and dysfunctional self-concept about our identity.
That is why many of the boys and girls who come to psychotherapy present, in one way or another, self-esteem problems. This is a phenomenon that, if not addressed in time, can lead to a difficult adulthood; Since much of what we do on a daily basis depends on the idea we have about ourselves, if this fails, a good part of our behavioral patterns will surely fail. Here we will see a summary of the most common types of self-esteem problems in childhood as well as some tips on what to do.
The most characteristic self-esteem problems of childhood
The way children think, feel and behave is governed by their own rules, and this makes it difficult for many parents to fully understand the type of psychological problems that can arise in the way of the little ones. Here you will find a summary of those that have to do with self-esteem.
Many boys and girls receive, from others, “labels” with which they do not feel comfortable. For example, “the absent-minded one,” “the bossy one,” etc. In fact, On many occasions it is adults or even family members who use these names It is important to avoid them so that children do not believe that these adjectives limit the range of behaviors and skills they can expect from themselves.
2. Self-acceptance conflicts due to gender roles
Unfortunately, Self-acceptance problems and insecurities derived from not fully conforming to gender roles continue to be a reality in people of all ages; This means, for example, that some children may develop low self-esteem due to interacting especially with girls, or that some girls are socially “punished” for speaking confidently and not fearing leadership positions.
In situations like this, we must make sure that they know that although this kind of social pressure to conform to certain attitudes and tasks exists, it is not what one should aspire to, and that the problem is not in oneself but in the prejudices of some people. of the people around him.
3. Jealousy between siblings
The simple fact of having a little brother or sister does not mean that rivalry has to appear or self-esteem problems arising from comparison with others; However, it is true that the occasions in which this occurs are not rare.
This may occur, for example, by not accepting or understanding very well that the youngest receives more attention from the elders (especially in their first months of life), or by seeing that the older brother or sister can do things that are not yet allowed to one.
In cases like this, it is important to dedicate at least one talk specifically designed so that they understand that Those kinds of experiences do not reflect what each person is worth, but are derived solely from the stage of growth and protection that each boy or girl needs, and not so much from personal merits. It is also good for them to know that at their age a difference of just a few months can be very significant, while in adulthood it is not.
4. Low self-esteem due to feeling of loneliness
Some boys and girls have difficulty making friends, and the loneliness resulting from this makes them think that they are worth little.
In cases like this, they must be helped to understand that having a difficulty in a specific area of their life (starting conversations with other children whom they do not know well, for example) does not sum up their identity, and that behind a type of very specific problem, it is possible to find a whole series of situations and experiences in which one can perform well. This will serve as a form of motivation for them to face their insecurities and, little by little, polish their social skills.
Yes indeed, It is advisable not to let them face this without help ; If necessary, seek psychotherapeutic help so that the boy or girl learns to manage anxiety arising from social interactions and to perfect his or her communication skills.
5. Problems due to not having external validation
Even in boys and girls who interact regularly and closely with other children of their age, they may experience discomfort because in these groups they feel ignored or notice that they are not taken into account when making decisions to actively participate in games, etc
These types of situations are complex (like all the ones we have seen so far, to a greater or lesser extent) and require being analyzed individually, but something that usually works well is to encourage the child not to settle for just any group of friends. ; Many times the main problem is believing that you have to belong to a certain social circle at any price, when there are others where one can easily feel accepted.
6. Self-esteem problems derived from situations of violence
We cannot ignore that sometimes self-esteem problems They arise from experiences in which we have felt very vulnerable and helpless, and during childhood we are especially prone to go through situations like this given our need for protection, both physical and emotional. Faced with these kinds of problems, it is very important to seek psychological help as soon as possible.
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If you are looking for psychological assistance or educational support services from professionals, contact us. In Nanda Center We specialize in psychotherapy, speech therapy, and psychopedagogy and school reinforcement. You can find us in Sabadell; To see our contact information, go to this page.
