Loving rejections can be uone of the experiences that produce the most anguish and discomfort if you do not know how to manage them well
On the one hand, the self-esteem of the person who experiences it can be affected if they interpret this episode as a sign that they are worth little as a human being and that other people do not want to interact with them. On the other hand, rejection can be, at the same time, a way in which a series of life plans as a couple and illusions about how the relationship with the other person can evolve are truncated, which produces a disappointment that can lead to anguish or anxiety.
However, romantic rejections do not have to be a big problem if you know how to deal with them philosophically. That’s why It is worth training in the ability to adapt to these situations which will allow us to stop avoiding the possibility of them happening (running away from situations in which we must express our feelings) and at the same time adapt to a series of events that are beyond our control and have to do with the interests of another person. .
1. Doubt one’s own intentions
There is a strong social influence that pushes us to constantly be looking for a partner, even when we feel like being alone. A good way to handle rejection is question to what extent we feel a sincere desire to be with that person The emotional intelligence that helps us see personal relationships from an appropriate perspective is also related to the ability to review and question assumptions about our own true intentions, motivations, and goals.
That is why, to overcome a rejection, it is essential to first consider whether it is a genuine rejectionThat is, if what has not been reciprocated by the other person is a true couple’s project.
2. Take the situation as an opportunity
Loving rejections too They can be an opportunity to train our own management of emotions and become better people emotionally strong. The very fact of having the ability to face situations in which luck is not on its side is already a very valuable asset, and this ability can only be trained by taking advantage of moments of adversity.
Managing rejection with a constructive spirit will not only help the negative emotions associated with it fade as we pay less attention to them, but it will also help us in our personal development plans.
3. Recognize the power of care management
We usually believe that our perception of reality is given by our senses, but there is another factor that we almost never take into account: attention In cases where someone does something that makes us feel bad, we will tend to focus on the unusual aspect that makes us uncomfortable (their hurtful statements, their hostile attitude towards us, etc.) and we will not realize that it would be perfectly possible to perceive the same stimuli distancing us from the unpleasant aspects of the scene.
Likewise, to overcome a rejection It is important to keep in mind that taking control of our attention to direct it towards positive (or neutral) aspects of the situation is a big part of the solution.
When we overcome rejection, we are also overcoming the loop of negative emotions that it produces. That is why it is good to remember that much of the pain that triggers a rejection originates not from what the other person has done, but from our focus on negative sensations and thoughts that weigh us down. We must learn to “manually” correct our brain’s tendency to focus attention on what is potentially hurtful to get out of the loop of negative emotions.
This step follows from the previous one. Stopping focusing on the negative aspects of rejection does not mean fighting to forget this rejection nor to pretend that one has not gone through it, but rather to reformulate this experience in other terms. Trying to mentally “block” all the memories associated with the other person is still a way of always keeping in mind what we intend to avoid, since both the objective and the plan to forget about it all refer to the aspects of rejection that they hurt us more. While it may be wise to stop seeing the other person as frequently as before for a few days, the goal should be to get used to new habits and have time for self-reflection, not simply to bury this relationship.
In short, learning to implement coping strategies to overcome a romantic rejection involves having confidence in your own ability to deal with negative emotions, instead of denying them.
5. Demystify rejection
Just as certain people believe that the universe can conspire in their favor to help them achieve their goals, when we have to face rejection in love, we may perceive it as a sign that something that should have gone well for our interests has turned out. very badly for reasons that we cannot explain and that, in some way, we attract bad luck. This thinking is not only not rational, but it can be an obstacle to promoting personal projects, since It leads us to assume that everything will fail and that, therefore, it is better not to invest a lot of effort in certain things
Therefore, it is very good to keep in mind a very simple fact: practically everyone has faced rejection in love, but this is not something that is usually talked about easily. If it seems to us that rejection is something exceptional that could only happen to us, it is because we do not have access to the private compartments of other people’s lives.
Yes, romantic rejections can be very hard. But a large part of this feeling of anguish and discomfort has to do with taking these types of situations too seriously, believing that it is a very particular case. We magnify the drama which means that one person does not correspond to another as the latter would want, but the fact is that this happens constantly, as can be expected in living beings that do not have identical concerns and interests.
6. Detect recurring thoughts
When we face situations that trigger stress or anguish, It is common that at first we lose the ability to control our flow of thoughts just as we usually do. That is why recurring thoughts usually appear that are in line with our mood and feed off each other, producing a greater feeling of discomfort in the event that the emotions are negative.
Knowing how to detect recurring thoughts related to self-rejection (such as “you are worthless” or “no one wants to know anything about you”) is essential to overcoming rejection.
