Despite the very wide access to information that we currently have thanks to the Internet, There are still myths or erroneous beliefs related to sexuality that to a greater or lesser extent condition our sexual experience.
And the good availability of information does not always make our lives easier or help prevent problems if that information is inadequate because it is adjusted to sexist patterns or is not based on scientific conclusions. This is what happens on many websites with poorly contrasted content, based on pure popular beliefs about different aspects of sexuality.
Although this inadequate information can influence everyone, regardless of their age, it is the child-adolescent population that is most vulnerable to this erroneous content. Once again, education becomes a key tool to counteract the possible harmful effects that all of this can entail.
In our experience within Sexual Education programs that we carry out in educational centers in different cities, we verify that many of these myths are perpetuated throughout generations. In this way, many of those erroneous beliefs that a large part of adolescents currently have, were held by adults when they were in that stage of the evolutionary cycle. In this sense, there is an unquestionable perpetuation over time of sexual attitudes that in some cases are not desirable/healthy.
Next, We explain the myths or erroneous beliefs that we most frequently find in classes
1. “The first time you have intercourse (vaginal penetration) there is no possibility of pregnancy and it always hurts”
It must be said that there is no relationship between the first time this sexual practice is performed and the greater or lesser probability of pregnancy, since it is the use of an effective contraceptive method that reduces the possibility of pregnancy.
From this we say that the first coital relationship does not have to hurt unconditionally for a physiological reason, since the vagina is an elastic structure capable of “accommodating” any size penis, since it is designed, among other things, for this.
Yes it is true that Sometimes pain may appear during that first time due to the importance that intercourse represents in our culture This causes both men and women to go into their first sexual relationship with high expectations, which in many cases produces nervousness, anxiety, even fear (due to the appearance of pain). In the case of women, all of this can cause a decrease in arousal (due to nervousness, fear, etc.), which reduces the level of lubrication and therefore makes the appearance of pain more likely.
2. “Intercourse is the most pleasurable sexual practice”
There are no biological elements that allow us to confirm this statement, however There are many social conditions that cause us to fall into a coitocentric vision of sexuality, or what is the same, turning sex into intercourse. In this way, this sexual practice can be as pleasurable as many others: masturbation, oral sex, etc. We can find numerous cases of couples who, without having intercourse, feel a high degree of sexual satisfaction. Everything will depend on tastes and preferences.
3. “The size of the penis is very important in sexual relations”
AND This belief is very widespread in today’s society and consists of giving excessive importance to the size of the penis Thus, it is believed that a large penis is related to more sexual power or even obtaining a higher level of pleasure. The truth is that size is relatively important in itself, unless the person’s taste or preference is along those lines. In any case and in general terms, sexual potency has little to do with penis size since there are many elements in the sexual scene that will determine whether or not you feel satisfied.
Consequently, it is important not to fall into this obsession and think more in terms of functionality than in terms of size, that is, to pay more attention to whether the penis is functional (if it fulfills the pleasurable, physiological and reproductive function it has) than to the centimeters it measures. If the penis is functional, the rest (size, shape, etc.) falls into a secondary plane.
4. “The man is the one who has to take the active part of the sexual relationship”
Gender culture has attributed some roles to men and others to women. Thus, the former have to be active, take the initiative in the relationship and take responsibility for the woman’s pleasure (in the case of heterosexual relationships). Women should be more passive and “let themselves be done.” It is important to consider that both men and women have the same sexual rights and therefore adopt the desired role regardless of what the culture dictates.
5. “The ‘reverse’ is a good contraceptive method”
This practice consists of having intercourse without using any contraceptive method and removing the penis from the vagina when the man is going to ejaculate, doing so outside of it. Thinking that “reversing” is an effective contraceptive method is a dangerously erroneous belief for two reasons: firstly, because before ejaculating, the man emits pre-seminal fluid that, although it does not contain sperm, could carry sperm located in the urethra from past ejaculations, so the risk of pregnancy would be significant.
On the other hand, it does not protect us from Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) since contact between genitals and especially vaginal penetration is the highest risk route for contagion (along with unprotected anal penetration).
6. “The condom removes sensitivity, cuts the mood”
Incorporating the use of condoms (male or female) in our sexual relations is one of the healthiest practices that we can do. The condom is approximately one millimeter thick, this makes the “loss” of sensitivity minimal. Going into sexual intercourse thinking that the condom is going to make me less sensitive is going to make me predisposed to this happening, so the attitude should not be that, but rather that I gain much more than I “lose” (if It’s just that I lose something) by using it.
7. “If a man loses his erection it is because he does not consider his partner attractive”
When the loss of erection occurs frequently we can raise the possibility that there is an erection problem, which is rarely caused by the partner being unattractive. The most common causes of this problem have to do with the anxiety generated by the fact that it will happen again, the fear of failure or the desire to measure up, among others.
As we see once again, training is the most effective tool to combat these beliefs. At Psychological Training we have been teaching a Sexual Education Monitor course for more than ten years which enables the person who carries it out to carry out educational projects in schools and secondary education institutes where they can work on this and other areas of sexuality.
