Have you ever wondered how couples therapy works? That is, what explains why psychologists who dedicate themselves to this specialty do what they do.
Well then; Couples therapy is not simply a technique that, applied to love relationships, fixes them always following the same magic formula. It is, in any case, a type of psychological intervention (that is, carried out by psychology professionals) in which different tools and methods are used to meet the needs of a specific relationship, taking into account its particularities.
This means that couples therapy is characterized by its plurality, the heterogeneity of its proposals and approaches to the problem to be treated. Therefore, this work of love relationship experts cannot be summarized in a single action or formula to make the emotional bond between two people stronger. In other words, There are many pillars of couples therapy that explain the way it works. Let’s see what they are.
The pillars of couples therapy: key ideas to strengthen the relationship
These are the key ideas that help understand what couples therapy is and why it can be of great help to those who decide to attend this type of sessions with a psychologist.
Any relationship needs a constant communication flow. That is to say, dialogue must be part of the daily lives of the two people who form a couple.
However, this is a necessary condition but insufficient in itself for the love bond to be strong ; This characteristic can occur and, at the same time, the arguments cause the relationship to not go well, for example.
2. Physical contact is crucial, beyond sex
Relationships need to leave room for moments of physical contact and a certain intimacy. These moments, beyond pleasant experiences, provide emotional proximity : the feeling that with that person you can act in a different way, to express yourself in ways in which we do not express ourselves with anyone else.
By the way, this physical contact does not have to be sexual in all cases: there are people who do not feel desires and impulses of this type, and that does not constitute a problem for them if they are with another person compatible with their asexuality.
3. Finding common interests and hobbies is a plus
The idea that opposites attract in love is a myth. Although there are always exceptions, it is normal that the most solid and prosperous relationships are established between people who have many things in common. Therefore, one of the pillars of couples therapy is create situations in which both find common interests which allow them to live many stimulating moments together.
4. Arguments should not be avoided
Another of the pillars of couples therapy is that we should not avoid arguments, because if we are considering doing so, it means that a conflict (large or small) has already appeared that is on our minds.
What needs to be done with the discussions, in any case, is manage them well and take them as something natural in any relationship between people who spend a lot of time together In this way they will not become a simple ritual, a way of letting off steam by attacking the other, since assuming that arguments are an anomaly leads to blurring their true reason for being and ending up using them for everything.
5. Time together is necessary
Loving relationships do not exist outside our living conditions. A marriage in which both work a lot and come home late at night will hardly find moments to share, and this wears down the health of that emotional bond. It is necessary to find new lifestyles, and do so in a coordinated and consensual manner
6. It is normal to want to have a life beyond your partner
A relationship is a commitment that encompasses many responsibilities, sacrifices and projects, but it is wrong to assume that the life of each of its members should be reduced to that. Therefore, in couples therapy we work to Let each person clarify the different ways in which they want to get involved in the relationship and what times and situations he prefers to reserve for himself.
7. It is important to learn not to prejudge
Love is an intense psychological phenomenon because it encourages us to lose ourselves in what we feel in every moment we share with the other person. However, You also have to know how to adopt a distanced and as neutral perspective as possible to assess why the other person behaves the way they do, and why we behave the way we do.
If we are not capable of this, we run the risk of constantly prejudging, dedicating our efforts more to making judgments about the morality of others than to seeking effective solutions.
Where to seek professional assistance?
If you are interested in attending couples therapy to improve the state of your relationship or marriage, or to give yourself a second chance after going through a love crisis and considering breaking up, you can count on the professional help of Psychological Consultation Awakenings
