Whether you are thinking about telling your co-worker about their personal hygiene, or if you are faced with a dramatic situation in which someone needs you to comfort them because something serious has happened, You may feel compelled to remain silent
It is natural, since These types of conversations tend to be really uncomfortable
When there is a topic that is inevitable to avoid and we are not able to articulate a speech towards that person, discomfort and environmental tension can increase.
Once you are determined to face the situation, Don’t forget these tips that will help you ensure that the pending conversation does not turn into a bad drink
1. Avoid silences
Research reveals that, After just four seconds of awkward silence, our anxiety levels skyrocket Plus, the more anxious you feel, the harder it will be to get the words out.
To avoid this you should, as far as possible, plan the interaction a little in advance If you know what you want to communicate, your message will be clear and crisp and you will save yourself the discomfort generated by a choppy conversation with the dreaded silences.
2. Chat in an intimate place
It is not a good idea to have a relevant conversation in a crowded place with distractions (people nearby, noises…). Find a private place where you can feel relaxed and where there are no people who can hear you or interfere.
If it is the other person who starts talking about that uncomfortable topic before you, suggest finding a comfortable place so you can discuss it in confidence and without outside interference.
3. Take a seat
When you have to talk about an uncomfortable topic, It is a good idea that we are resting on a sofa or chair We will feel more comfortable, especially if the topic is thorny or can give rise to a significant emotional shock.
This is an aspect that we discussed in the post: “How to give bad news? 12 emotional keys”
When you sit next to (or in front of) the other person, try to make sure you are at the same height If you stay standing and the other person is sitting, you will give an image of superiority that can be very negative for the sake of the interaction.
4. Start with a wake-up call
Tough conversations can be just as incisive but better received if you use a preliminary touch of attention. For example, instead of saying: “Miguel, the rest of the workers cannot last more than a minute near you,” you can start with a phrase that softens the context like: “Miguel, what I’m going to tell you may be a little difficult to understand.”
This nuance gives the other person a few seconds to mentally and emotionally prepare for what you will tell them in a moment.
5. Accept your discomfort as normal
Trying to deny the discomfort can have the opposite effect than desired. We may still feel more uncomfortable with the situation we must face. If you feel a little shaky, restless and unable to maintain eye contact with your interlocutor… accept that you are a little nervous
It is highly recommended that, in a situation of this type, you can say a phrase that makes known the discomfort shared with the interlocutor. For example: “I feel a little uncomfortable talking about this.” This It will make your interlocutor empathize with you and the level of discomfort is likely to go down
6. Be polite but also direct
It is essential that you manage to express yourself correctly and trying not to be disrespectful. This is basic advice: You must be careful if you want your message to reach a successful conclusion However, you can run the risk of softening your words to the limit and this can generate a weak message that is not received with the necessary forcefulness by your interlocutor.
Therefore, it is interesting that you stick to the facts, use your assertiveness and send a clear message, without too many circumlocutions and going directly to the root of the matter.
7. Practice active listening
Communication is a matter of two. You must let your interlocutor process the information you have just given him, calmly. To be a good listener, It is important that you be receptive when listening to the other person’s response trying to share the issue and trying to resolve some points or misunderstandings.
If what you just expressed is especially harsh, you should be prepared for the other person to experience (and express) intense emotions. These can range from shame or sadness, to fear or anger. In any case, you should try to make the person feel that he has support in you, and give him some time so that he can face the situation.
Learn more: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”
8. Bring the conversation to a clear conclusion
The uncomfortable conversations They can also become endless and overwhelming situations where quarrels or issues from the past can be brought up, leading to an even more uncomfortable and absurd situation that only results in more discomfort and confusion.
To avoid this, You must have a way to close the conversation in a clear way prepared beforehand and concise, in addition to explaining what we hope will result from the conversation. In this way we will be “closing the situation” and sending a concrete and univocal message about the meaning of the interaction. If you want the other person to explain, let them know. If you want the conversation to end without further ado, say that too.
