Seduction is an area of human relationships for which some people seem to have an almost innate gift. However, for many others, seducing in the context of an informal conversation can be a very difficult task.
And flirting to find a partner is an experience in which many people feel very lost and helpless precisely because, unlike what happens in the business world, here there is no “logical” or rationalizable explanation about why. why we are interested in seducing or pleasing someone: the excuse of conforming to a series of expectations and professional roles that are given to us from outside does not exist, and we are exposing our vulnerabilities, tastes and, ultimately, our personality.
Luckily, everything can be learned, and psychology professionals specialized in human relations have studied the best ones for years. social skills that we can use to flirt and here we will see which are the most important.
What are the most necessary social skills to flirt?
Below we briefly explain the social skills most necessary to flirt, increasing our chances of success. It is not about magical solutions so that we are able to make anyone fall at our feet, but about being able to function fluidly and without letting fear and insecurities paralyze us, and even learning from the occasions in which reject us (something that is part of knowing how to seduce).
1. Sincerity
The path of sincerity is the best way to succeed in any area of our life and especially in the world of seduction and interpersonal relationships.
Show ourselves as we are in front of the other person, without very artificial maneuvers or pretending to be someone we are not It is the best way to connect naturally with any human being, since falsehood generates great rejection in both men and women.
This does not necessarily mean saying everything that comes to mind, but rather letting go of any pretense of appearing to be something we are not. And it does not mean that we cannot use irony and a sense of humor to “play” certain roles at a given moment, as long as it is part of the game of seduction and from the context it is clear that we are not like that and that we do not intend to communicate anything else
Likewise, showing genuine interest in their opinions, hobbies or needs is also a good way to start a deep conversation with which we will learn a lot about what the person we are interested in is like.
2. Creativity
Creativity is one of the best ways to create a positive image in another person who we want to surprise and please with a first impression.
And a good way to flirt is create improvised situations that are fun ; A good part of the seduction process is breaking the mold so that the encounter generates memorable moments. The important thing for an experience to be genuinely creative is that it amuses both parties and allows the other person to participate in it.
This means not sticking to the most classic clichés of the “seducer” role or the typical pick-up lines recycled over and over again. Falling into old or trite formulas will show us having very little inventiveness and not adapting to the conversation or the personality of the other person.
3. Sense of humor
The sense of humor is one of the most useful tools that we can make use of not only to attract the attention of anyone we may have interest in, but also to create a relaxed atmosphere in which you can both express yourself more naturally
There are many uses that humor has in the world of seduction, from an element that we can use to break the ice in first impressions to a creative way to surprise, entertain or show the other person that we can see things from several perspectives. angles.
Understanding your own and other people’s non-verbal language is another of the clearest advantages that exist for flirting, since in the world of seduction, much of communication takes place beyond words that is, from looks, body postures or subtle body signals.
That is why it is so important to be aware at all times of the signals that we may be sending to the other person and those we receive from them, in order to maintain more subtle communication adapted to the situation.
Non-verbal language helps us know if a person feels comfortable with us and also if, on the contrary, they are not in a position to flirt or are having a bad time.
5. Courtesy
Courtesy is another of the skills that is most valued during social interaction between people, and even more so when we are trying to start a friendly conversation with someone unknown or semi-stranger.
To flirt with a person it is essential to maintain a framework of courtesy and education, and this consists of be aware of social norms about good behavior with the person in front of us without doing anything that could bother or bother us.
Therefore, it is important to maintain certain levels of education without this preventing us from being creative and original at the same time with the aim of positively surprising the other person.
6. Work on self-esteem
Good self-esteem is one of the most important psychological traits that people who are successful at flirting have and the good news is that it can be trained and increased over time. We must not forget that Showing confidence in what we are doing is one of the ways to ensure that the other person does not feel uncomfortable in a conversation either
There are many ways in which we can improve our levels of self-esteem, the most common is by going to a psychologist specialized in the subject to work on those problems that we may have on an emotional level.
7. Emotional validation
Emotional validation is another of the most important social skills we have to adapt adaptively to our environment, and it consists of knowing how to respect the feelings and emotions of the other person despite not necessarily sharing them
This ability is closely related to empathy and the ability to put yourself in the place of another and be aware of their desires, needs, aspirations or life plans.
8. Ability to master silences
The ability to maintain interesting and fluid conversations naturally is another skill that we can apply to be successful when it comes to flirting with a man or woman that we are attracted to.
Paradoxically, This happens by not having an excessive fear of silence (Otherwise, we will just “fire off” many phrases in a row that don’t really help the conversation progress.
Fluency in conversations, knowing how to talk about interesting and appropriate topics without being uncomfortable and in a fluid manner is one of the most promising ways to achieve success with another person on a night out or in any festive context.
9. Work on your own fears
Another thing that we must take into account to learn to flirt is to overcome the personal fears that we may harbor and that prevent us from achieving our social interaction goals
Some people may have certain levels of stress or anxiety when flirting with someone they like, as well as cases of social phobia or any type of psychological alteration that generates discomfort or suffering.
In these cases it is advisable to work on your own fears to overcome them or go to a specialist psychologist.
Related article: “What is fear for?”
Do you want to enhance your social skills?
If you are interested in overcoming your insecurities and/or improving your social and communication skills to enjoy your relationships more and have an easier time dating or making friends, contact us.
In UPAD Psychology and Coaching We can offer you a face-to-face or online psychological assistance program adapted to what you are looking for.
