The Essential Things To Keep In Mind When Searching For A Partner
Search and find a partner It is a process that is usually considered one of the most important elements of life. Shaping a romantic life in the company of someone not only changes one life, it actually changes two.
That’s why it’s good identify what type of characteristics and aspects are those that are most important to pay attention to to choose to be with the right person.
The most important thing when looking for a partner
It is clear that the world of relationships is so varied and complex that, in practice, we take many variables into account when deciding whether we like someone enough to strengthen ties with that person. Physical appearance, proximity or distance to where we live, their circles of friends, etc. However, it is necessary to remember that we are only able to identify many of these elements when we detect that the potential partner could fail in one of them. What about those characteristics we take for granted?
In them lies the key to making the choice of a partner come to fruition or not. There are fundamental elements about the other that, although we do not realize it, we optimistically estimate irrationally, as if the partner had a kind of natural obligation to fit into our schemes.
Attraction is not the most important thing
Know how to identify these personal characteristics that we imagine and question them by contrasting them with what we see It will make those minimum requirements of what we need a person to have to be with them serve, effectively, as minimum requirements, and not as something that is understood.
Of course, on their own they will not be enough to guarantee that the bond between the couple will be strong and lasting, but at least we will not be letting chance decide whether we are compatible with the other person or not.
And what are the minimum requirements?
1. Communication styles
A relationship is, basically, a dynamic of communication and shared affection. If the first fails, the second will soon fail as well. That is why all conflicts and friction that may appear in a relationship must be well communicated, and for this it is essential examine the communication style of the potential partner
Honesty and transparency are not elements that are valued in romantic relationships simply because they prevent the appearance of infidelities over a prolonged period; They are also a guarantee that possible problems that may appear along the way can be detected and managed as a couple, without letting them fester or lead to misunderstandings.
2. The similarity
When building a long-term relationship, it is essential to assess how our personality fits with that of our partner. At the end of the day, the love bond should always be there, and that includes situations that are not very romantic.
Furthermore, it must be taken into account that the myth that opposites attract It’s just that, a myth. In psychology, there is much evidence that indicates that the most prosperous and long-lasting couples are those in which both people have similar personalities. In this way, the customs and interests of each of them will not cause an emotional distance (and physical, in the case of non-shared hobbies) that will not end up wearing down the relationship.
When the idealization of the couple ends, what is left? It is very easy to fill in those blank spaces about what we know about the other person with all kinds of romantic fantasies, but once enough time has passed to see that neither our partner is as cultured and intelligent as they initially seemed nor He knows how to manage his emotions as well as we thought, There must be something left of her that continues to capture us
Normally that “something” has to do with that person’s way of thinking, their interests and areas of knowledge that make them curious, and, of course, their sense of humor. These are elements that do not depend on something that is quantifiable and that are therefore difficult for us to idealize: either they are present or they are not.
4. Your fears
The fears of a potential partner are what can end up pushing them away if they are not compatible with the type of relationship they want to have. That’s why, when we meet someone special, It is important to know what it is that you do not want, what you are trying to avoid
Of course, these fears can change over time, but in any case at first there is nothing that guarantees that, if they change, they will do so in the way that we want to form a functional couple.
For example, something as simple as the presence of certain personal ambitions could be something that intimidates the couple in certain cases, as various research reveals.
