If you are a very perfectionist person, you probably feel dissatisfaction frequently in your life. It is normal that having high demands in everything and constantly being aware of your mistakes is something that causes you a lot of discomfort, exhaustion and overwhelm.
Colloquially, it is understood that a perfectionist person is someone who is never satisfied with what they do, so they carry out activities very carefully, respecting the smallest detail.
In this article We will talk about perfectionism, its characteristics and how to carry it in a balanced and healthy way
Taken to an extreme, perfectionism can be defined as the tendency to set goals that are too high, pursue them rigidly without questioning them and value themselves based on the achievement of those goals. Consequently, when what is expected is not met, a perfectionist person feels such dissatisfaction that it can cause, in very limiting cases, depression and a lot of anxiety.
Among the characteristics of perfectionism, what stands out is seeking excellence and having a desire to improve ourselves, which can be considered positive values that can help us in the different areas of our lives to the right extent.
In fact, in our society the best results of what we do are usually rewarded very positively, it is even highly regarded and highly valued when a person is very hard-working and always gives the best results. Consequently, We live in a very competitive environment making us constantly give everything and more to achieve those goals we long for.
However, when we take them to the extreme, these characteristics become our worst enemies: they make us feel that we are not happy and become a great source of fear, dissatisfaction and insecurity that, paradoxically, increase the probability of making mistakes.
Characteristics of a perfectionist person
It is very likely that someone who is a perfectionist behaves in a manner consistent with some of the following characteristics :
Frustration tolerance
Furthermore, another characteristic that has a decisive influence is tolerance to frustration. When this tolerance is low, a perfectionist person will be constantly alert to any signal that may anticipate an error becoming very self-critical and self-demanding.
Thus, when you have to write a paper for the university, for example, the most likely thing is that you think thousands of times about what words to use, that you read the written sentences every few minutes, that you expand the written information without being necessary and that you ask give someone you trust your opinion on what you have written, always to ensure that everything is “perfect” and thus avoid possible errors.
However, when frustration tolerance is balanced, it would imply accept to a certain degree that everything we do is not going to be 100% perfect that we will be satisfied with the results obtained, recognizing that we have achieved something that has required us a great effort and that shows us that we are going in the right direction.
What can we do?
These are several tips that you can take into account.
1. Improve our tolerance for frustration
The key would be in balance our tolerance for frustration since we would be willing to expose ourselves to the possible mistakes that we may make without it meaning that we are worthless and recognizing our efforts.
We must value If our skills are sufficient to achieve our objectives and, if not, set goals that we know we can achieve satisfactorily.
3. Don’t fall into the trap of your thoughts
Take your thoughts for what they are, thoughts that come and go without leaving aside what is really important to you: your valuable addresses.
4. Learn to assess when something is good enough
Our opinions about something will always have a subjective nature, as well as that of others. Consequently, Our standards are also subjective and we can change them
In short, it is about learning to tolerate a certain degree of frustration, accepting that we will make mistakes and that this will not mean that it is invalid work. Finally, we will move forward and realize that our efforts have been worth it.
Sometimes it can be difficult to get out of the loop of perfectionism without help, for this reason we recommend the specialist psychologists at the PsicoAlmería center as they have experience in this type of therapy. They serve both in person and online.
