In most of the cases in my consultation, I observe that deficiencies in social skills appear in one way or another. I would dare to say that in many cases this deficiency is the origin of the main problem; in any case, all cases would improve if the social skills of patients and relatives increased.
In this PsychologyOnline article, we are going to talk about the importance of social skills.
A column on which social skill is based is “empathy” understood as putting ourselves in the other’s place, but not from our point of view, but from the other’s point of view, understanding their expectations, their emotions, their beliefs, their desires, their behaviors…
To achieve this empathy it is essential listen and observe the person which you want to understand. In active listening, we process the information that comes to us from the other person, both verbal and non-verbal information. While listening, messages should be sent to the speaker to make him/her see that we are understanding “feedback” or, where appropriate, ask for clarification of what we do not understand. It also helps us understand others to remember how they acted or felt in situations similar to the one we find ourselves in at a given moment.
assertiveness
On the other hand, there are our interests, That is, what we want to achieve, what we expect from others. We may ask for help with some matter, we may want a pleasant conversation, a romantic relationship, giving an order to a worker… in any case our aspirations must be realistic. At this point it is necessary know ourselvesour limitations, our abilities and our emotions.
Once we have as accurate an idea as possible of the other person’s position and we have defined what our aspirations are, we will be in a position to act. Now we can be assertive
Being assertive means communicating our opinions, ideas, desires to others… clearly but not aggressively. This is the best way to achieve our social objectives.
Fights between teenagers, family members who don’t speak to each other, co-workers who become unfair competitors, conflictive divorces, out-of-tune discussions…
There are endless situations that become unbearable, with consequences on stress and health that would not have occurred if they had been treated in a socially acceptable way at the time.
The conversation
Conversation is one of the social skills. A conversation should begin with the greeting, and the introduction if the interlocutors are strangers. The greeting must be appropriate to the circumstances and the type of relationship you have with the other person, it can range from a hello and handshake to a loving kiss depending on the case.
During the conversation you should actively listenthat is, show interest in what is said, ask for clarification of what is not understood, respect the turn to speak… At the same time we will make our intervention clearly and seeking to listen to others.
The conversations end with a farewell, which, like the greeting, depends on the situation in which we find ourselves. It is important to know the peculiarities of the situation in order to adjust the greeting and farewell to it. An encounter in a hospital is not the same as on the beach.
It also favors social relationships be grateful, kind, smiling, apologize… all at the right times and without being overly complacent. Kindness, for example, could cause rejection both by default and by excess.
On the other hand, egocentrism, greed, distrust, destructive criticism, zero-sum competition, etc. undermine our social relationships. A relationship based on empathy and assertiveness, that is, good social skills, will avoid many conflicts and will help us increase self-esteem. Consequently, many problems of stress, antisocial behavior, depression, isolation… would be greatly reduced.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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