The Importance Of What We Tell Ourselves When Managing Discomfort

The importance of what we tell ourselves when managing discomfort

One of the contributions that the cognitive current made to the field of psychology between the 60s of the last century revealed the relevance of the internal role of the individual as an essential element in the regulation of behavior.

Thus, it began to be considered that how a person perceives, processes, interprets, stores and retrieves information become fundamental phenomena that guide one’s behavior towards the achievement of particular objectives and goals.

From these considerations arose, among other things, what we know today as the self-instructions used in the context of applied psychology.

The cognitive approach in psychology

When considering the component of cognition as an active agent of the individual’s behavioral response, The development of various models, theories and techniques of psychological intervention began as a contrast to the behavioral approach which maintained that behavior was modified only based on environmental and external factors.

Among these most innovative postulates, several are worth highlighting. On the one hand, Albert Bandura’s theory on Social Learning, which has had a very significant importance in the application of cognitive-behavioral psychological interventions aimed at Social Skills Training.

Secondly, it also highlights Albert Ellis’s Rational Emotive Behavioral Theory a type of intervention focused on addressing irrational beliefs that has been shown to be effective in therapies for depression or anxiety.

Thirdly, we find Aaron Beck’s Cognitive Therapy, a therapy that works on cognitive distortions, automatic thoughts; or, more specifically, the Problem Solving technique proposed by D’Zurilla and Goldfried in which a series of phases are proposed to effectively deal with decision-making.

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Finally, it is also notable the fundamentals of Donald Meichembaum’s Self-Instruction Training, who defend the usefulness of adopting an internal discourse and a type of effective self-verbalization in order to facilitate coping with possible adverse or complicated personal situations. Regarding this last strategy, a series of specific guidelines are offered below to practically apply this type of psychological resource.

Cognition as a behavioral regulatory factor

Observe aspects such as what goes through the person’s mind when faced with a certain situation or experience, the level of awareness of their beliefs, the type of reasoning they carry out, the conclusions and ideas they generate about it… all of this allows you to determine more accurately the type of messages or internal speech that it puts into practice to control its own actions.

All of this has a notable impact on the emotional experience and greatly modulates the capacity for effective psychological management, since phenomena such as core beliefs and personal schemas, expectations, the cognitive assessment of personal events, decision-making in resolution of conflicts, the factors to which the individual attributes the occurrence of the situations he experiences… can lead to the experience of significant emotional discomfort if they are not developed in a functional and adaptive way

How to apply the self-instruction technique?

In the same way that occurs when taking practical driving classes in which the teacher offers instructions on the steps to follow to drive the vehicle, when faced with a new or difficult to handle situation, the instructions state that the person perceives are very useful to deal with such a situation more competently and, therefore, to achieve an adequate level in the management of the uncomfortable emotions that said event can cause

In the application of the technique in the field of cognitive-behavioral psychological therapy, it is the professional who guides the patient first in identifying the type of internal speech that the latter usually uses, as well as in the detection of messages that negatively interfere. blocking the execution of the behavior and favoring unpleasant emotional responses (“you do everything wrong” or “you are useless”) and, finally, in the internalization of other types of messages that enhance personal self-confidence (“if I make a mistake, I can learn from “or “when I am calmer I can express myself more clearly”).

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The therapist’s help is initially greater, since at the beginning he is the one who proposes these instructions externally, with the aim that the patient learns to be more autonomous and puts into practice the use of these positive messages itself.

To implement this psychological strategy, effective self-instructions can be generated by analyzing and responding to a series of questions at different moments of coping with the situation: before carrying out the behavior, during it and after having faced it. Various examples to apply in each of them are specified below:

1. Self-instructions before performing the behavior

2. Self-instructions during the performance of the behavior

3. Self-instructions after performing the behavior

Characteristics of self-instructions

As to What aspects should be considered and included in the content of the self-instructions the following principles stand out.

It is important that the messages are rational, realistic and avoid cognitive distortions, which are defined as irrational, biased or negative ideas that harm the performance of an adaptive psychological response.

Among them are dichotomy (reasoning in absolute and extreme terms “I always block myself”), anticipation (drawing conclusions based on potential assumptions and rigid expectations “I’m sure I’m wrong”), self-attribution (attributing behavior solely to factors). internal without considering other more circumstantial or external “if I don’t do it correctly it’s because I’m not good for this”) or selective abstraction (focusing only on the negative aspects and disregarding the neutral or favorable ones “even though this part didn’t go completely wrong for me). , it has been a failure because I have failed in this other one.”

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Another fundamental aspect lies in that self-messages foster a perception of sufficient capacity and confidence to face the situation with the aim of achieving an adequate perspective of improvement. Thus, phrases such as “I am capable of…” or “I can face such a situation”, etc., can be useful.

On the other hand, it is necessary to stop and eliminate excessively self-critical and self-demanding messages that often prevent the acceptance of one’s own mistakes and difficulties in a natural way. In this sense, it is relevant to avoid focusing self-instructions on expressions such as “I should have done… this way” or “I should not have done… this way”, etc.

It is important to direct self-verbalizations towards phrases that organize behavior through sequential steps of behavior as internal action plans that guide the execution of the person’s action, for example: “first of all I will…, then I will begin to…, finally I will…”).

In conclusion

Throughout the text it has been possible to see how important it is make conscious the type of internal discourse used in coping with potentially complex or anxiety-inducing events, which becomes an essential factor in the self-regulation of individual behavior. At the moment when the person is able to identify the distorted or irrational messages that they direct to themselves and can replace them with more realistic and comprehensive ones, the approach adopted in the response that they emit can enhance their level of behavioral competence and favor the management of the discomfort generated in a difficult situation.