We live in times of continuous change by which we can sometimes find ourselves overwhelmed , since we cannot adapt to them. This is reflected on the people closest to us, not only co-workers or friends, but also on our closest people and who sometimes, having more trust, take the brunt of us at the end of the day. For example, our partner.
Given this phenomenon, I have prepared an article with a series of questions that we must be clear about in order to work on the problems that arise ; I am going to explain how to start changing your relationship situation.
Overcoming the main relationship problems: questions to ask ourselves
In our relationships We see ourselves pigeonholed based on three focuses or points of attention who are the ones who control the future of that emotional bond. These are:
These are the pillars of a relationship. The way you treat them will ensure that this bond enjoys good health. What determines what you will become is not what happens right now, What matters are your decisions about where you focus your attention
The phases of truth
Many times we argue and find it difficult to accept the truth about things we have done wrong. Has it ever happened to you that you blame your partner for something and they don’t accept that it’s true? Even though you know that she is, surely after talking more you can reach that agreement, but it will cost you a lot.
You will wonder why this is, and apart from the fact that your partner may be a person with a square mind, I would like to tell you the three steps that the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer explained in his day, in which he explains that all truth goes through three phases :
Taking this into account, let’s focus on the important point that concerns us now, the questions we have to ask ourselves in order to focus our attention in such a way that we achieve achieve logical solutions to our relationship problems with them we will achieve a point to change and we will be able to work on solving them.
Questions from which to strengthen a relationship in crisis
I would like you to sit down together and think about them, debate them and argue, to take advantage of these questions.
1. How are we going to end up if we don’t change?
The answer is clear. You are going to break your union and everything that comes with that.
2. What are we going to miss as a couple if we don’t make this change?
A reflection on opportunity cost of certain decisions.
3. What is it already costing us mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and/or spiritually speaking?
These arguments and friction create a bad atmosphere I always believe that energy, whether positive or negative, fluctuates and converts, and therefore we must realize that a bad unresolved discussion today can become a bad situation tomorrow, when we are on vacation and therefore produces a imbalance that will embitter our existence.
4. How would our family and friends feel to see us ending our relationship?
The relationship also influences and is influenced by the immediate environment ; You have to be aware of that interrelation.
The positive aspects of change
With the previous questions you have already seen what the negative consequences would be of not changing in the right direction. Now I would like you to pay attention to the questions related to pleasure, in order to connect positive ideas with change For this, I would also like you to take the opportunity to talk about them.
The key is in look for compelling reasons that support the change you want to make , realize that you are both making mistakes in your behaviors and above all that you are not each other’s judges, but rather your life partner, and life is a constant change and learning. For this reason we have to adapt to the times that come and above all give our best on a daily basis.
Relationship problems? Do I help you
If you are interested in improving your relationship and having external help from a specialist to have an objective opinion, do not hesitate to contact me. We will be able to start the sessions without leaving home and with a price appropriate to the current times.
My name is Javier Ares , I am a General Health Psychologist and part of providing my services to patients with anxiety and depression problems, my specialty is also couples therapy. With my help you will be able to solve the complications that arise from living together and regain the stability and happiness that made you together.
If it seems good to you, we can start working on you, do not hesitate to contact us through this page.