The Other Side Of The Coin: Wanting To Be A Mother And Not Receiving Support

A few weeks ago I was talking to you about how difficult it is for a woman to be a mother in these times. As a result of this article, comments arose that have given rise to the other version of the story: Today I am talking to you about those people who want to have a child, since their situation is favorable to it but they do not receive support.

Already the biological clock It is a pressure that affects all women. Being a mother has an expiration date and from the age of 30 the countdown is activated as if it were a time bomb. A fight begins to find a stable partner, stable job and savings. According to what I told you in the article a few weeks ago, it is a very difficult decision to make, given the economic instability, problems when it comes to conciliation and other problems that we already mentioned. But sometimes it happens that the wind blows in favor and there is a great illusion However, the most important thing is missing: support by the family or the couple themselves. AND…What to do then?

You really want to have a child, your partner does not refuse it, but you are the one who has to take care of everything: does not get involved in knowing what your most fertile days are, you are the one who buys the pregnancy tests, you do the tests alone, etc. In that case, perhaps it would be appropriate to consider to what extent your partner wants to have that son or daughter. Maybe he doesn’t feel ready, he’s scared, or he doesn’t want to be a father, but he doesn’t dare tell you otherwise because of your enthusiasm. Don’t forget that being parents is something that both people have to be prepared for and want; Otherwise it is very likely that they will appear reproaches along the lines of: “I didn’t want to but you were so upset that I agreed”, “if it had been up to me, I would have waited a couple more years”, “weren’t you the one who wanted it? Now you take care of it.” This decision may affect the relationship quality as a couple and something that worked like a charm can be damaged by the pressure exerted consciously or unconsciously.

On other occasions it may be that the couple wants to be a father as much as you do but does not get involved due to other issues: too many hours at work, concerns day to day, very active social life or psychological problems Whatever the cause, it is very important to talk about it, try to understand their position, explain what is happening to you and that you would like to receive more support from them. That way you can look for solutions to problems and make motherhood a sweet moment.

Now, imagine that you and your partner you are in tune and both he and you are equally involved in the search for pregnancy; but your family, your partner’s family or friends see it as crazy or an effort that does not pay off. The appropriate thing here would be to first assess what you and your partner want without letting yourself be influenced by anyone else and secondly, think about why others advise you not to get involved in the role of being parents. Of course, if you consider yourself responsible, capable and eager people, perhaps it is time to think about yourselves and not in the others.

Sometimes people who are already fathers or mothers comment on how sacrificed it is, the efforts it takes, etc. and they talk about motherhood/fatherhood as if it were an ordeal. However, most people consider it to be the best thing they have ever done in their lives and feel tremendously proud, but they tell others not to do it, which is very hard. If these comments affect you or they make you doubt, think about what you want and assess what you are going to lose and what you are going to gain. If the result is positive, decide for yourself together with your partner and leave aside the opinions of others Try talking about how you feel with your family and how little support you receive, maybe they will explain that it wasn’t their intention, or maybe they won’t and they just advise you not to do it. Think that you do not always receive the support you expect in the decisions you make, but perhaps it is worse to allow yourself to be influenced by others and not do what you want.