The Power Of Dialogue With Our Parts With The Internal Family Systems
Have you ever wondered how it is that, being apparently rational beings and skilled in the use of structured thinking, human beings are so contradictory?
For example, the sight of a doctor who goes outside to smoke during his break after seeing several patients is not unusual, but if we stop to think about it, it is surprising. The same thing happens with people who reach a sufficient level of commitment to join the gym and pay all the monthly fees and, at the same time, barely go to exercise.
In Psychology there are several explanatory models that address this tendency toward inconsistent behaviors or behaviors that are guided by contradictory motivations, and one of them is the Internal Family Systems model. Let’s see what it is like.
The Internal Family Systems model is an approach to psychological analysis and intervention developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the decade of the 80s.
It is a therapeutic proposal of an integrative nature, which combines approaches and strategies typical of different models of psychological intervention, but as its name indicates, it is especially influenced by the General Systems Theory, and more specifically, by its embodiment in systemic family therapy. If anything characterizes it, it is the adoption of ideas and interpretive frameworks of systemic family therapy, but applied not to families, but to individuals.
The objective of this is to understand the psychological elements that, relatively independently of each other, are behind the behavior and way of thinking and feeling of the person and mobilize them through very different, or even apparently contradictory, logics.
Thus the model of the Internal Family Systems understands that in the functioning of each person’s psyche there are several independent parts involved , who can be compared to members of a family, with their own motivations, interests and personalities. These parts can be classified into three types.
On the one hand there are the exiles which are the parts that remain in us as a result of a more or less intense psychological trauma and that, because they harbor emotionally destabilizing elements, tend to act independently of the rest of the family.
On the other hand we have the firefighters , whose presence stands out when the exiles adopt an active role and destabilize us emotionally; In situations like this, they adopt a short-term logic and trigger impulsive reactions to “cover” that discomfort, through actions such as pulling out their hair, biting their nails, eating without hunger, smoking…
Finally we have the managers , which also try to maintain stability and the status quo but not in specific and emergency situations, but constantly through prevention strategies. They are behind the habits of avoiding anguish, stress, sadness, shame…
From the Internal Family Systems model, it is proposed not to totally repress or eliminate any of the specific parts, but rather to work to ensure that the dynamics of interaction between all of them lead the person to a state of relative emotional balance and the ability to manage emotionally painful experiences. That is, it invites us to adopt a holistic point of view from all parties, without seeking “local” but rather systemic solutions.
Examples of application areas of the Internal Family Systems model
To better understand how to work from the Internal Family Systems model, let’s look at several examples of its application in psychotherapy, although these do not fully show all the problems that can be addressed through it.
The emotional reaction to the death of a loved one can lead some people to develop what is known as complicated grief, a psychological alteration in which feelings of discomfort overwhelm the person who suffers much more than usual after this type of loss and is unable to function normally for many weeks or months.
In situations of this type, the Internal Family Systems they allow these patients to adapt to a reality in which that person is no longer by their side adjusting both your expectations and your habits and management of emotions to that absence that is at least material, although the memories about that loved one are still there.
What it is about is that the parts of the person’s mind return to a balance in which it is not necessary to adopt extreme measures of secrecy denying the death of that person, nor does one enter into a dynamic of constantly feeding the pain by deepening over and over again how tragic that death is.
Thus, from the balance between the parts, we reach the acceptance of that loss and the integration of it into one’s own life story, making those memories (and by extension, the trace that that person has left in the patient) become part of your identity and the narrative of your existence.
2. In cases of trauma
Trauma arises when there are memories that have not been stored in a functional way in the person’s memory system, among other things because they are associated with a strong negative emotional charge, which produces intense discomfort. This is why trauma usually arises after experiencing extreme physical or psychological violence.
Through Internal Family Systems, people are helped to approach these memories without letting one of their parts be much more involved than the others, so that they can be re-encoded in a more neutral and balanced way. without denying any of its facets, but without letting a few of these completely capture the person’s attention focus and begin to torment them from that position.
Everything related to impulse control constitutes a type of possible emotional problems that can be effectively addressed by the Internal Family Systems.
For example, there are many people who find it difficult to modulate their anger and prevent it from being projected outwards through a hostile attitude or, directly, attacks towards others.
And this is often due to the fact that The way in which situations that generate anger are interpreted is very biased towards pessimism about the intentions of others: manager-type or exile-type parties can trigger attack responses that are actually a form of defense about what might happen if we don’t “stand up for ourselves.”
Thus, through the Internal Family Systems, people are helped to take a step back when interpreting social interactions and not to see everything through the lenses of someone who is always looking for signs of a confrontation or a threat, reaching internalize an interpretative framework richer in nuances thanks to the harmonious and balanced participation of all parties.
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