We live in the era of constant worry. We worry about having the car, the house, the partner, or the job that will be the elixir for a happy life. We feel under constant pressure to meet our obligations and expectations.
And yet, many times, we achieve our long-awaited goals but we perceive that we are missing something more, that that alone is not enough, so we worry again because we do not feel well. We constantly think about what is causing us discomfort and how to mitigate it. Normally, we look for a way out by worrying about pursuing new challenges that we assume will be enough to end this vicious cycle only to discover that this is not the case.
Our tendency to worry so much usually has its origins at a young age. From a young age we are instilled with the idea that achieving achievements, such as getting good grades or popularity in our extracurricular activities, is the measure of our worth as individuals. This conception becomes deeply rooted in our young minds, and we most likely end up associating our value as people with our ability to achieve goals driven by the constant search for success and external recognition. The pressure to achieve goals can be overwhelming, and we often find ourselves trapped in an endless cycle of insatiable desires. After all, if this were true, how much do we have to achieve to feel valuable?
Worry addiction has detrimental effects both emotionally and physically. From an emotional point of view, it can lead to anxiety, depression, constant rumination, the obsessive search to have everything under control, or unhealthy perfectionist tendencies.
On a physical level, chronic stress related to worry can have adverse effects such as sleep disorders, mental and physical fatigue, cardiovascular problems and compromised immune system. A person who lives in a state of alert will activate the body’s sympathetic nervous system, feeling in a state of fight, flight, or paralysis in the face of different daily stressors. This releases stress hormones that prevent us from feeling well-being. It is for all this that it is essential to reverse our tendency to worry too much and create a refuge within ourselves where we find joy and peace.
How can we overcome our constant worry?
First of all, it is essential to be aware of this thought pattern. With the help of a professional, it is important to identify what is happening to us, accept it, and investigate how to change our inclination to entertain negative thoughts and/or become overwhelmed. It is very important to pause, observe, and recognize what happens to us in order to develop healthier coping strategies. Victor Frankl lucidly said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space we have the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
How can we find joy and peace?
It is about installing habits that help us live authentically while being faithful to our needs, values and passions. Bliss and peace come from within, they do not depend on external factors such as wealth, success or relationships. True happiness and well-being are internal states of being that can be developed and maintained, regardless of our external conditions.
Bliss and peace are states of well-being that transcend superficial satisfaction and are connected to a sense of meaning and purpose in life. Cultivating joy and peace involves recognize that genuine happiness does not come solely from the pursuit of momentary pleasures, but from connecting with deeper aspects of oneself. These emotions go beyond the absence of emotional discomfort. This would be a utopia. It is being able to live calmly with the range of emotions that daily stimuli generate in us.
What concrete actions can help us cultivate joy and peace?
1. Practice mindfulness
This focuses on full attention in the present moment. Meditating, eating, sharing with family and/or friends, and playing involve immersion in these activities without worries about the past or the future, which encourages a full experience of the “here and now”. This connection to the present can be a powerful way to relieve anxiety and overthinking.
2. Be in contact with nature
Hiking, biking, or simply walking through a park are fun and therapeutic activities at the same time. Another effective practice is to face the sun and close your eyes. Feeling that heat and light on your face for a couple of minutes calms us down. Watching the treetops and moving leaves has the same effect.
3. Practice contemplation for 12 seconds
Observing the beauty of a sunset, listening to birdsong or feeling the breeze on your skin are deeply satisfying and relaxing. The secret is to do it for 12 seconds. It is not enough to watch the waves break and quickly move on to another activity. To rewire our brain we need 12 seconds of contemplation, savoring the moment.
Encouraging creativity through artistic activities such as painting, writing, music, cooking, gardening, or dancing can be a powerful form of play and fun for adults. These activities allow the expression of emotions and thoughts in a playful and rewarding way.
5. Practice gratitude
There are always reasons to be grateful, however, we go through life taking those reasons for granted. It is important to contact the inner joy that the smile of a loved one brings us, the company of our pets, the hot dish on the table, among so many other things. Let us remember that it is not happy people who are grateful but grateful people who are happy.
Concluding…
Whenever we are completely immersed in an activity and experience a deep sense of satisfaction, it will be easier to find ways to experience joy and peace in our lives.
It is also essential to recognize that our worth as human beings is not linked to worrying about our achievements and level of occupation. This approach is simplistic and limited, as it ignores the richness of our complex identity and the intrinsic value we all have as unique beings.
Our joy and peace lie in embracing our humanity, in our relationships and in the quality of our lives. Becoming aware of how we are living and intentionally choosing how we want to do it is the first big step towards our well-being.
