The Scientific Method That Makes A Stranger Fall In Love With You In 45 Minutes
Researchers have been trying to decipher love and how people are attracted to each other for decades. In recent times, much progress has been made to understand this phenomenon, and as we explain in the article “What is love? (And what is not)”, defining this concept is extremely complicated.
One of the most curious studies in this sense is the by psychologist and philosopher Dr. Arthur Aron , professor at Stony Brook University (New York), who has been studying love, friendship, and intimacy for 40 years. This author believes that it is possible to make other people fall in love with you in just 45 minutes. In this article we explain his discoveries.
For most of us, love is something that happens by magic, when you see a person and feel a crush or when you know someone deeply and you simply connect, as if souls fit together.
But perhaps it is necessary to want to fall in love and do our part to make this happen, and this fact motivated New York Times journalist Mandy Len Catron to write about Arthur Aron’s study that was carried out in the year in which year 1993.
In his article titled “To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This,” he talked about how the American psychologist developed a questionnaire of 36 questions with which he said that it was possible to create such intimacy between two individuals and that they could fall in love in just 45 minutes. Mandy says that she applied these questions, and that despite being more than 20 years old, it worked for her with a boy she met in a bar.
The article by the journalist from the New York newspaper tells how Arthur Aaron carried out his investigation, which included a group of subjects who had to sit in pairs, one in front of the other.
The subjects were instructed to ask questions previously prepared by the researcher and, after this, Subjects had to stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes Apparently, there were several couples who felt something special and, in fact, three ended up getting married.
The journalist put it into practice
Catron decided to put these questions to the test to find out if they were really effective or not. So when he met an interesting guy at a bar, he peppered him with questions, all of which belonged to the 36-question questionnaire, and were asked one after the other. just as if it were a job interview Logically, she asked the boy to look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes after asking the questions, to complete his own investigation.
According to him, and after completing the test, Her degree of intimacy was such that she fell in love with the boy Apparently the boy too.
The questions to make someone fall in love with you
Surely many skeptics do not believe it, but both the researcher and the journalist affirm that a greater degree of intimacy occurs after knowing the other person thoroughly. These questions are divided into three sections, varying in intimacy gradually and they require increasing confidence to answer them.
For example, the first question is “Which person would you invite to dinner if you could choose anyone?”, while the last question is formulated as follows: “Share a personal problem with your interlocutor and ask him to give you his opinion on how he would have acted Ask him how he thinks you feel about the problem you just told him.”
For Arthur Aaron, “one of the most important factors in these questions is self-disclosure. Revealing things about yourself has to happen gradually, and requires trust.” According to the researcher, “if you go too fast, the other person may feel self-conscious and distrustful. But if you start with something that’s not too personal and then slowly move on to asking more and more personal questions, both interlocutors will feel comfortable ”
The famous Spanish program “El hormiguero” shared the Arthur Aaron sociological experiment. You can check it in the following video.
The importance of keeping your gaze
But what is really effective about these questions and the supposed results of the study is in maintaining gaze with the other interlocutor for 4 minutes. According to the Mensalus Institute of Barcelona, one of the best Psychology clinics in Spain, these minutes are so revealing since exclusivity is offered to a single sense, and this can be a powerful amplifier of interaction. Besides, Helps delve deeper into concepts that go beyond words ”.
For the professionals of this center, “the 4 minutes are essential to contemplate the other interlocutor in their fullness and make mutual recognition. They are not the classic verbal questions and answers, but rather these are done from silence. A unique connection is created, a total complicity.”
You can visualize the consequences of the gaze in this study below.
