The (subtle) Difference Between Self-esteem And Narcissism
Sometimes, life has to be valued: at work, on a date, an interview, a conversation whose subject we don’t master… Some would even say that it is inherent to the playful Mediterranean character.
It is clear that to do this we must have a certain self-esteem, that is, appreciation for oneself. But… where is it located the limit between having good self-esteem and being a narcissist? Is it really the problem of our current society?
In short, narcissism is self-esteem raised to its maximum power; the excessive admiration you feel for your physical appearance, qualities or gifts.
Egocentrism, related to the above (although not exactly the same), is the paranoia of the narcissist; The admiration you feel for yourself is such that you believe you are the center of all other people’s attention and concern.
These two psychological phenomena seem to describe what happens to many people, but for those who are not familiar with the subject it is good to highlight the differences between narcissism and self-esteem
The difference between narcissism and self-esteem is that the former involves the denial of the value of others, who are reduced to mere providers of attention and fame. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is what makes us feel good about ourselves as beings integrated into a society full of perfectly valid human beings.
But… doesn’t the passage of time transform our self-esteem into narcissism through the use of new technologies?
Adolescence is a stage of revolution, among other things, hormonal, which leads us to have ups and downs in self-esteem. Hopefully, after this time, we will have managed to emerge from it unscathed and with a regular level of self-esteem.
This set of perceptions, thoughts and evaluations of ourselves will undoubtedly have an impact on how we see the world around us.
According to some theories, we build our self-esteem based on the social acceptance of our peers But there comes a time when someone’s ego, perhaps ours, becomes extremely inflated, and stands out; He loves himself excessively and is superior to everything else.
Currently there are several articles who blame technologies, or rather the misuse we make of them as direct manufacturers of narcissists, but weren’t there narcissists before the internet?
The cult of the ego
The cult of ourselves, of the body or of the mind depending on the time, has existed for a long time.
Let’s start from the word narcissist itself, which comes from the myth of Narcissus, existing in both Greek and Roman mythology. It talks about a handsome young man who stole the heart of every woman and who, by angering who he shouldn’t, ended up drowning in the water because he was in love with his own reflection.
The problem has existed, therefore, since ancient times; What has changed are the elements of the game. We have taken to “selfies” get many “likes”, have many photos and many friends, followers… Even those of us who write on this website, don’t we enjoy it proportionally to the number of times our article is shared?
Probably everyone, in one way or another, We sometimes sin by having a primed ego However, it is easier to see the straw in the eyes of others.
Actually, The only thing we can blame on the Internet is that it has made it easier for us, and more universal. Now I can boast of having many friends without having to work or take care of those relationships, just a “like” from time to time. I can show others, my hundreds of “friends”, how happy I am with my life, my partner, my job, how naturally handsome I am (with mobile applications that correct, increase, decrease and cover up, of course). this). In short, it’s easy because I choose what to show.
The reality is that we live in a frenetic time of capitalism and liberal economics, where we confuse happiness with consumerism, and this is consuming us. Still, the possibility of crossing the line from self-esteem to egocentrism and narcissism existed before any social network. If not, ask Donald Trump; He really is a good example of what it means to love yourself excessively.
The neural circuits of egocentrism
Internally, these small moments of pseudo-happiness that adore ourselves too much and make it known on the networks give us, activate the brain’s reward center just like sex, eating, generosity…
And, at the end of the day, what gives meaning to our existence, what moves and motivates us from the most biological and basic point of view. It is the reward and the pleasure How we achieve this will continue to vary: now it is fashionable to pose in photos and put a filter on my plate of pasta, but maybe with luck, tomorrow, we will try altruism and generosity as a brain reward mechanism.
