The teenager, a little tyrant? There are many fathers and mothers who sometimes ask themselves this question, simply because of how they live their relationship with their children.
We all know, because we have also experienced it in our flesh, that Adolescence is a particularly complicated period for the boys and girls who go through it
If we think about it, it has two aspects: one way of living it is that of the young person who goes through it, with all the physical, mental and emotional changes that this stage of their life goes through; But on the other hand, it is also true for their fathers and mothers, who, although they are aware that this happens, are sometimes forced to seek help to learn to manage these changes in their children in the most ideal way possible.
And sometimes, one of these factors that resist adults is the tyranny of the young.
The teenager thinks that he can do everything and that he is the center of the universe
It has also happened to us, but when you live as a father it is something very different, and It is necessary to live it carefully so that this situation does not lead to problematic behaviors for our children like addictions, for example.
The point is that one of those behaviors that adults must know how to deal with correctly and live with is the feeling that children can do whatever they want, that nothing more than their will matters.
during adolescence The feeling that nothing can overcome the young person and that the world is at his feet is very common and therefore, their behavior denotes that their actions have no consequences for them, when we are all very aware that this is not the case in reality.
It is the vigor of youth that makes them see life this way, disregarding the rules and risks around them, and this can lead to behaviors that can be very harmful to them.
Is the teenager a tyrant?
Well, his attitude may imply that yes, from the moment the adolescent not only feels comfortable, but also thinks that nothing belongs to him, that he is indestructible, it may happen that he thinks that he is more than others, that he has more rights. . This can cause him to start treating others as his inferiors, which can lead to these behaviors. But This can also happen when you suffer
For this reason, it is common for young people to begin to adopt despotic positions, giving orders to their parents or even being especially violent when they do not get what they want. Many times, anger is one of their usual tools to try to frighten anyone around them.
The point of all this is that although we may not like to see it, the tyranny of adolescents is something very common that many families tend to suffer. Maybe now is the time to consider why this happens, Why does it occur in some young people but not in others? Let’s look at this topic a little more in depth.
Almost everything has to do with the learning you have been exposed to
We all have learning from a young age, and throughout our lives we never stop learning. The question is what is learned during childhood that period in which we are like little sponges that absorb everything.
Methods in which aggressiveness or blackmail are the tool imply that this learning has not been adequate. It is more than possible that the parents themselves caused the problem. making children understand that simply by existing they are the center of the world and that they deserve everything
Obviously, we as parents want our children to not lack anything, but if we approach it in the wrong way, it is very possible that we are promoting that tyranny of the adolescent.
Let’s think for a moment about what happens when the boy or girl gets everything they want just because. In the end, he will end up thinking that he is entitled to everything just because he is him, without trying or working to achieve it. This will lead you not only to treat the people around you in a despotic way, but also everyone, known and unknown. AND If they ever don’t get what they want, they will react with anger and violence because we are denying them something that they have the right to and that they want.
However, the adolescent’s tyrannical attitude is not always related to education. Sometimes, young people can reach this point because they have had to live through difficult situations
It is common, for example, to find cases in which, following a divorce, the child has begun to behave in this way. The reason is to blame one of the two and start mistreating that person to punish him and show his anger.
Are there consequences to all this?
Of course there are. A boy or girl who believes that everything is his, that he has the right (more right) than other people to everything he wants, will encounter a painful truth: that is not the case.
Seeing that he can’t get what he wants, You will begin to get frustrated, which will cause problems in all areas of your life It is for this reason that we must act as soon as possible.
What to do then?
The most effective thing is to educate. In this process it will be necessary to set limits which our children will not like, but it must be done to encourage appropriate behaviors.
A message that is essential to send to young people is that having everything you want is impossible, and that to achieve things you have to work hard.
Of course, it is also essential to teach the youngest that with aggression and violence they are not going to achieve anything, and to stop these behaviors in a radical way, promoting respect, effort and work instead. Only then will they understand what reality is and be ready to go out into the world to experience it.
