This Is How Childhood Wounds Affect Us In Our Adult Relationships
We know well that interpersonal relationships are a fundamental part of human life. Through them, people establish emotional and social connections with others, which allows us to share experiences and build meaningful bonds that make us feel loved, safe, and satisfy the biological need that we all have to feel part of a community. .
However, our relationships can also become a source of pain and conflict, especially when emotional wounds from childhood are reflected in the way we interact with others.
In psychology, the emotional wounds of childhood are wounds that many of us adults have in our psyche associated with an emotion, such as an emotional injury and that is in us unconsciously until we take the time to think and reflect on those behaviors that limit us in our relationships and we associate them with those childhood experiences, and we realize that they are behaviors that come from that wound.
These injuries were possibly caused by various circumstances, such as emotional or physical abuse, verbal and/or psychological abuse, abandonment, neglect, rejection, love conditioned on achievements overprotective parents or the loss of a loved one, as well as the depression of one of the parents, inadequate parenting, the birth of a little brother and the jealousy associated with it, among other possible things.
It is also possible that it is a wound created from a situation interpreted as negative by the child, since their emotional immaturity has not allowed them to correctly understand and interpret what happened in the context of that moment.
It is normal for adults to have one or more of them in lesser or greater depth, there are 5 emotional wounds: Wound of rejection, wound of abandonment, wound of betrayal, wound of injustice, wound of humiliation.
We associate wounds primarily with parental figures, but they may also have been caused by other figures such as teachers, other family members or even bullying by friends. These experiences can leave deep emotional scars that can last a lifetime, and can affect the way we relate to others, through our way of communicating and behaviors within the relationship.
The observable behaviors that show psychological wounds are, among others, distrust, insecurity, fear, jealousy, guilt, self-abandonment, sleep problems, obsessive thoughts, anxiety, depression, overwhelmed emotional reactions.
For example, a person who has been a victim of emotional abuse may have difficulty trusting others or setting healthy boundaries in their relationships. You may feel anxious or unsafe around people who remind you of your abuser or you may have difficulty expressing your needs and wants clearly and directly.
Likewise, a person who has experienced the loss of a loved one may have difficulty forming strong emotional bonds with others, for fear of suffering another loss. She may be emotionally withdrawn or closed off, or may have difficulty expressing her feelings or emotional needs.
It depends on the input received from the environment in childhood through parents, family, teachers, social culture, religion and friends, we create one personality or another, it depends on what experiences have been lived, they can be developed, in addition to injuries, trauma or personality disorders.
What to do to heal those emotional wounds from childhood?
When these emotional wounds are not adequately addressed, they can manifest into problems in our interpersonal relationships. For example, we may project our fears and insecurities onto others, which can lead to conflicts or misunderstandings. We may be more critical or distrustful of others than we should, which can put strain on our relationships. We can have childish attitudes that give way to unnecessary discussions.
We may also find ourselves repeating patterns in our relationships that reflect the dysfunctional dynamics of our childhood, which can prevent us from building healthy, satisfying relationships. The good news is that childhood emotional wounds can heal with the right time and effort. Some ways to address these wounds include:
1. Seek professional help
A therapist can help people explore and address childhood emotional wounds and to develop strategies to better manage their emotions and interpersonal relationships.
2. Practice self-compassion
Learning to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion can help reduce emotional pain and develop greater self-esteem and self-confidence.
3. Identify patterns in our relationships
Being aware of dysfunctional patterns in our relationships can help us identify underlying emotional wounds and to take steps to address them.
4. Work on communication
Learning to communicate clearly and effectively can help reduce misunderstandings and conflict in our relationships, and build stronger emotional bonds.
5. Learn to set healthy boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries in our relationships is essential to giving ourselves and being given the respect that we can all enjoy but because of the wounds we are not aware of being deserving.
Write about yourself, about what your childhood was like, about the things that hurt you and what you would have liked to have been different and how.
7. Improve your internal dialogue
Improving the way we treat ourselves mentally and even out loud is critical to improving self-confidence and self-concept.
Conclusion
The improvement of our relations is an inevitable consequence of these actions, we are in a moment in history where we have more trained and educated population than previous generations, we have unlimited access to information, taboos have been broken and thousands of people speak freely. themes including childhood traumas and wounds.
It is about each person assuming individual responsibility for seeking and ensuring their psychological well-being.
