There are many stereotypes about men and women who have a predilection for loneliness It is often said that these are misanthropic individuals, with social problems or even that they are not capable of solving the problems of daily life outside the home.
However, stereotypes are just that, preconceived ideas usually based on myths that are never questioned. Is it true that the minds of these people are impoverished by isolation, or are they as healthy or healthier than the rest of the population?
Of course, to see what research in Psychology says about it, it is first necessary to define what we mean by “loneliness” in the way these people experience it.
What is the desire to be alone like?
It must be taken into account that someone who prefers solitude because their attempts to escape from it have been frustrated, whether due to harassment or social difficulties, does not feel a true predilection for solitude; They remain isolated against her will and, consequently, it cannot be said that she genuinely prefers to be alone. In any case, that is the consequence of avoiding harm.
When we talk about people who prefer solitude We are referring to those who not only do not reject time alone, but embrace it and make it part of their life; They are not afraid to be with themselves or anyone else, and they enjoy situations of solitude, experiencing them as moments of calm.
On the other hand, These people have lost their fear of being single , if they ever had one. It is not that they necessarily prefer to be without a partner in any context, but rather that they do not see it as an important and abstract life goal that must be satisfied at all costs.
Exploring the minds of those who do not fear loneliness
A few years ago, a team of researchers decided to study the phenomenon of preference for solitude (not imposed from outside) using for this purpose two groups of married people residing in Germany; In one group the average age of the participants was 35 years, and in the other, 42.
Another similar initiative proposed the same objective, but this time it worked to study What are those who are not afraid of being single? In this case, there was the collaboration of two groups of people, most of them single. In the first group the average age was 29 years, and in the second, 19. To measure their personality, both in this research and in the previous one, the Big Five model was used, which measures these traits:
In the case of the research on people who appreciate loneliness, measurements were also made on their sociability, while in the research on fear of being single these extra personality characteristics were measured :
Neither misanthropes, nor unstable, nor antisocial
The results of these investigations completely destroy prevailing stereotypes about people capable of freely enjoying solitude.
First of all, it was found that this personality profile is significantly less prone to emotional instability, that is, akl neuroticism. If on many occasions they prefer the absence of company, it is not because of a crisis, nervousness or anything similar.
On the other hand, this type of personality also stands out for obtaining higher scores in terms of openness to experience, while those who do not fear being single are, in addition, kinder and more responsible than the rest In the case of research on the desire for solitude, the profile prone to voluntary loneliness did not obtain scores neither above nor below the average.
But perhaps the most groundbreaking result is that, while people who generally enjoy solitude are neither more extraverted nor more introverted than the rest, people who do not fear being single They are no longer introverted , but quite the opposite: they enjoy situations in which they must participate in social situations. This confirms that they do not “choose” singleness out of convenience, but simply do not force themselves to have a partner, since they do not have a particularly bad time in conversations with strangers, for example.