Does time really heal everything? Can our wounds heal over time? Discover the science behind this saying and why this phrase is incorrectly said when faced with a loss.
The old saying of ‘time heals all ‘ is widely used when faced with a situation of loss. So much so that on many occasions people use this wild card to relieve their pain. Although it is a phrase that we use constantly, the reality is that believing in it can be harmful to the person in question. Find out why.
Although many say that time heals everything, science rather says the opposite. In fact, most therapists believe firsthand that this phrase is much more harmful than it may seem.
This is because when He says that time heals wounds What we are pointing out is that there is no need to make any effort to try to alleviate or work on this pain. For this reason, having the belief in reality that this phrase about time and well-being expresses can end up being more harmful than we think.
According to psychologists, there are a series of reasons why you should not believe the phrase that time heals everything Among the most important we find the following.
1. Time never heals anything
The fact of thinking that with time will heal all wounds What you have inside you not only makes you take a passive attitude towards grief, but you will also begin to think that something is wrong with you because you do not forget it or do not see that there is an improvement.
2. What you choose to do with that time makes a difference
Not working in the face of an injury because you believe that Time heals everything, it is a mistake that many of us make. Furthermore, working on it makes a difference and will allow you to resolve that pain in a much healthier way.
3. Believing that you shouldn’t feel so bad
This false notion that is behind those who say that time heals everything It makes people end up thinking that they have a problem beyond grief when they see that the passing of the days does not really improve their situation. In this way, thinking like this promotes constant frustration.
4. More difficulties to talk about it
In many cases, talking about a loss is one of the keys to being able to start working on the pain. By believing one of these phrases of time and pain people may avoid or not make an effort to say what they feel since they trust the passing of the days for all these feelings to go away.
Anguish comes hand in hand with the saying ‘time heals all ‘. The reason for this is that people who believe in it instead of dealing with their pain or facing their sadness try to distract themselves from it and not face it, something that creates more anxiety and anguish about it.
6. They resist pain
He time doesn’t heal everything and acting harshly in the face of pain will only make it take longer for each of your wounds to heal.
7. You need to work through adversity
This phrase about time It creates the false belief that you do not have to face adversity in life. Actually, you must work on your skills to be able to let go of this pain.
Time does not heal anything
According to research on the matter, such as the study published in Perspectives on Psychological Sciencethis idea is precisely confirmed that time doesn’t heal everything It was shown in these studies that in general people do not have much capacity for natural recovery or recovery over time.
So much so that these investigations confirmed that when having a loss, people can have a feeling of lack of well-being that, if they do not work, can last for several years. Furthermore, the fact of believing in one of these phrases about time heals wounds prevents people from ending up seeking help to recover effectively.
Everything in its time
No person is born with the ability to forget the hard experiences that life brings us. Therefore, you should try to work on your mental strength. Establishing healthy habits, being grateful, or practicing self-compassion can be ways to speed up the grieving process after a loss. That is, working within yourself and accepting your feelings is undoubtedly the key to returning to your balance in the face of these psychological wounds.
The psychologist can guide us in two ways; firstly, carrying out counseling, in the event that the grief is that of a recent loss, a “normal” grief, achieving an adequate adaptation and facilitating the task of living without the loved one; and secondly, carrying out grief therapy when there are separation conflicts with the deceased, when the grief is prolonged, excessive or exaggerated, when it is perceived as problematic, when somatic symptoms occur or it has been delayed in time. In these cases, the time may not heal everything and we need the collaboration of our therapist to come to terms with the loss.
