Toxic friendships: becoming aware of the burden of having bad friends
We have all had, at some point, a “friend” who constantly got on our nerves. For some reason, something in his personality pushed him to have totally inappropriate attitudes and behaviors that made us feel bad.
We detail below seven signs that a friendship is starting to be undesirable for you
1. Non-reciprocity: they receive and you give
If at any time you notice that the balance between giving and receiving tips significantly with you being the one who contributes and your friend who rarely extends his hand, you should rethink the situation If after bringing up the lack of balance in your relationship with your friend, he or she is not willing to change, you can start thinking about abandoning ship.
These types of friends who always demand your attention but rarely give it to you when you need it are known as emotional vampires We talk more about them in this article:
Friendly banter between colleagues is not uncommon, and most tend to take it well. But when criticism and making you feel bad are part of your daily conversations, the relationship will no longer be positive for you
Toxic friendships can make you suffer. Putting yourself down may be a mechanism your friend uses to elevate her status above yours. This is usually more painful when it happens in public. It is important to remind the friend that you want to be treated with respect, and if it is a person you want to maintain contact with, give them some time to reflect and change.
3. You can’t trust him with your privacy
A couple or three of true friendships can be the foundation for a healthy life. The circle of friends of this type is usually very small, a select few who have shown over the years that you can trust them blindly. We tend to have a good number of superficial relationships in which we share more trivial thoughts, experiences and opinions, but those few to whom we trust our secrets must be truly faithful, in addition to knowing how to trust you with their secrets as well.
Taking into account that human beings are imperfect and can make mistakes, We should start to distrust when a friend is not careful on more than one occasion In this situation, you must be honest with him, show him your disappointment and, if he tries, end the relationship or let time pass.
4. They bring out the worst version of you
When you suffer an emotional breakup or a bad time, you may notice that your best friend is not able to be by your side to accompany you during this ordeal Maybe they prefer that you continue drinking, advise you to meet other people, encourage you to end romantic relationships without trying to improve the situation, or advise you that you should have cosmetic surgery to improve your self-esteem. If this is your case, try to promote new and healthier relationships as you stop spending so much time with your old friend.
When a friend frequently leaves you alone to meet up with others, it is annoying, but many of us accept it as something that is not that important. If he cancels an outing to a big concert that you were also going to because he has decided to prioritize a date at the movies with a possible hookup, we are also usually understanding. If you lend them money to buy a game console and they don’t pay you back, you should stop lending them money and reconsider this relationship. If these situations occur regularly in the relationship, you will end up tired of his attitude Experience tells us that this type of friendship is difficult to reconquer.
6. They do not respect your partner, family or children
It is not an easy task to assess how important our relationships are when it comes to keeping all the others alive. We trust friends to help us or share moments and experiences. We appreciate the people with whom we share opinions, to the point that they agree with us when we tell them that our partner is irrational or mean.
Sometimes, the friend can exceed certain limits, and that can make us feel bad if criticizes or despises someone we love Friendships that call into question your romantic relationship can cause trouble for you to break up said relationship, especially in moments of special vulnerability. If this happens you should clarify that this makes you feel uncomfortable. If it happens that the friend maintains these criticisms because of his own insecurities or jealousy, it is necessary to prioritize your romantic relationship and the social relationships that support your decision.
7. The friend wants to have a romantic relationship with you but you don’t.
Many people try to maintain platonic relationships with former partners or friends they would like to date. This rarely happens in an agreed or consensual way, and many times the story ends badly and with negative consequences. But This is a problem that can be prevented if we impose common sense
When we are honest with ourselves, we can tell when a friend wants more than just friendship. When sexual attraction surfaces, it is usually impossible to ignore this fact and it is necessary to end the relationship unless you feel the same way. The best advice is to keep your former lovers in the past, unless you really feel like you should be with that person.
Concluding…
In short, we must value friendships not for their quantity but for their quality: reliable friendships that are by your side in both good and bad times must be cared for as an essential part of a healthy and happy life.
