Toxic Siblings: 10 Conflicts Between Problematic Siblings
It is known that family is extremely important in our lives It is an essential socializing agent for our development. In fact, at an early age, the family is vital for survival, because human beings need the help of adults for a relatively long period of time.
Furthermore, its relevance does not end there; The role of parents becomes essential to be able to grow up healthy and prepared to face the problems that may arise throughout our lives, even when we are already largely autonomous.
But parents are not the only important family figure for us; When they are present, siblings are also usually there in good times and bad. However, there are times when this brotherly relationship can become toxic. In this article, we will talk about the entrenched conflicts that can arise between siblings, and the concept of “toxic brothers”
Siblings not only share our genes, culture, education or social class, they also share the vast majority of experiences that happen to us within the family and experience the same events as us.
However, Each person is unique and has their own personality Two brothers raised under the same roof may develop different ways of behaving, however, they both share the same memories and experiences.
Brothers are people you trust, who will rarely turn their back on you; They can become our best friends. As the French poet and writer, Ernest Legouve, states, “a brother is a friend given by nature.”
When the relationship between siblings is not good
But Sibling relationships can also be complicated From a young age, fights can be frequent, and as adults, some siblings can end up badly for different reasons, for example, due to financial issues. Complicated relationships between siblings can become very intense and generate situations in which hostility, rivalry, competitiveness, jealousy and, sometimes, hatred can manifest.
When a sibling thinks they are treated differently by their parents, when you think you are the black sheep of the family or when you receive a shared inheritance and do not have the same opinion as your other sibling about what they should do with a property they have inherited, the battle can be very destructive.
Reasons why conflicts arise between siblings
Whether in childhood or adulthood, there are many reasons that cause these fraternal disputes. Below you can find a list of reasons why siblings have toxic relationships:
1. Economic reasons
In adulthood, it may happen that siblings stop talking to each other for various economic reasons. Some brothers fight because they share a company, and when liquidity problems arise, the relationship is affected. Others, however, experience a property fight (especially over inheritances). The economic reasons are a frequent source of family breakdown if you do not know how to manage these conflicts.
2. Seeking attention
At an early age, it may happen that siblings are constantly fighting because they seek parental attention Generally, they tend to be tantrums that do not go any further, but on other occasions, the relationship can become conflictive, since the accumulation of conflicts can generate greater conflicts.
3. Parental Comparisons
Sometimes it is parents who create insecure children. Children who, in one way or another, will seek the attention of their elders to feel loved. One of the children may be very good at school, because they are good at the subjects taught at school, whether mathematics or social sciences. On the other hand, the other child may have great talent, for example, in drawing or dancing.
This last brother will need the affection of his parents to develop that passion that he treasures, but, as often happens, Some parents only consider school grades when assessing a child’s success That child may feel very frustrated, which can cause some rivalry with his other sibling as he feels belittled.
4. Unequal parental treatment
Comparisons between siblings are not good, but it is not positive not to treat children equally. This can happen, for example, with the clothes that their parents buy them, the amount of money they give them for weekly pay or even the amount of tokens of love (hugs, kisses, etc.) that the parents give out. Minors are especially sensitive to this type of parental behavior Therefore, one must be careful not to treat one child better than another.
5. Age difference
It seems that the age difference can determine conflicts. Research shows that children who are less than two years apart They frequently have more conflicts than children with a greater age difference.
The older sibling, whether a boy or girl, is usually more affectionate and understanding towards the younger one. If the older brother has a significant age difference, he may understand some of the reasons why her little brother is reacting in a certain way.
6. The stage of development
The stage of development can also influence when generating conflicts. For example, it may be that at school age the siblings had a better relationship, but when they reach secondary school and the stage of changes, the older brother becomes somewhat disengaged from the relationship with his younger brother. The younger brother, in this case, can seek elder brother’s attention through disputes
Another reason that fights between siblings start is when someone touches the other’s personal possessions. At younger ages it may be a toy, but in adolescence it is still a piece of clothing. This can generate conflicts, especially if the item they borrowed without warning is damaged
8. Different personalities
We all have different personalities and interests and this can cause many conflicts. Some people are more easily irritated than others, some are introverted, others are extroverted, etc. Clash of Personalities Can Cause Serious Disputes in fraternal relationships.
9. Social skills deficit
If on some occasions it is personality that causes the conflict, on other occasions it is the lack of social skills. Conflicts can arise in any interpersonal relationship, but A good command of social skills can help this conflict be resolved correctly Otherwise, it may even end up worse.
The ability to resolve one’s own problems and conflicts, empathy or the ability to negotiate and dialogue, among others, are factors that influence how family problems are resolved. Parents have a lot to say here.
10. Jealousy and envy
Jealousy and envy can be a cause of conflict in sibling relationships at any age Sometimes it is the insecurity of one of the brothers that causes this situation, since he may feel a tremendous feeling of frustration when seeing that his brother has a better job or a spectacular partner.
