Relationships are usually complicated. At the beginning of courtship, everything is rosy, the chemicals of falling in love are in full swing and we feel invaded by positive feelings.
However, and depending on some circumstances that we will try to explain, it is common to see how many couples deteriorate and even break up due to a very common problem: jealousy.
What is jealousy?
In the field of couple relationships, Jealousy is feelings of insecurity and anguish that invade one or both members of a romantic couple. when a series of situations occur. This negative feeling can arise when they feel that the love of the other person is in danger, or when they notice with fear that they are no longer the center of attention of the loved one.
By extension, all interpersonal relationships can be affected by jealousy. We can find examples of situations of jealousy that occur even in adult life: “my mother dedicates more time to my sister, she has always been the favorite” or “my best friend invited another person to go out, and I am her best friend.” friend.”
As we see, not all jealousy comes from romantic partners, but it is true that it is much more common between boyfriends. In fact, jealousy is a recurring problem in couples’ psychological consultations.
The side effects of jealousy (and how to deal with them)
Situations like this can occur much more frequently than we imagine, generating feelings of anger, irritability and rivalry between the parties involved. Sometimes we use erroneous ways to reinforce our feeling of worth, and we also have a certain difficulty accepting the presence of other sources of gratification (that are not us) in the life of that loved one. They are elements that can generate the necessary breeding ground for jealousy to arise.
However, these situations tend to be, in most cases, resolved without major complications, since it is assumed that in adulthood a series of emotional tools have been developed that allow these unpleasant feelings to be channeled into more adaptive responses. Most people are able to relativize this feeling and put it in context, but there are other people who, for one reason or another, are invaded by the feeling of discomfort caused by jealousy, without being able to control it.
The good side of jealousy
It is worth mentioning that, sometimes, jealousy can be useful. Is this possible? Yes, because in certain situations jealousy can trigger an alert in our mind in case we are experiencing real situations that require a series of actions that guarantee the stability of the relationship with that loved one. For example, jealousy can be a sign that something is happening, and that perhaps there is a third person who is really getting involved in our romantic relationship.
Jealousy would thus constitute an advantage when it comes to making certain reasonable doubts present in our decision-making and not making us act blindly because of the love or affection we feel towards the other person. However, it should be noted that jealousy alone does not guarantee that we will judge what happens to us rationally: this requires other capacities.
When are they harmful?
Is jealousy potentially harmful to our emotional well-being? In general, These feelings manifest themselves in an uncontrolled manner, are irrational, have no objective foundation and are therefore harmful. These are the unhealthy jealousythose that can really destroy interpersonal relationships, and those that pose a problem for the psychological well-being of the person who suffers from them.
Unfortunately, There is a mistaken belief that when a person feels jealous of their loved one, it is because they love them very much. This is a blunder that can generate dangerous dynamics and worsen the situation. In fact, it is easy to hear phrases like: “if he is jealous of you, it is because he is very in love.” This type of conception of jealousy can be a bad start for a relationship, since the love of a couple must be sown freely to allow both members to grow and flourish; Jealousy only suffocates the relationship, to the point of making it unbearable.
The signs that warn us that someone is jealous
Below are the most frequent symptoms that tell us that we are dealing with someone who suffers from unhealthy jealousy. However, it is worth emphasizing the fact that people who experience these feelings live with a lot of pain most of their days.
Jealousy is a serious problem that may require the intervention of a mental health professional. Generally, people recognize their problems to themselves, but it is extremely difficult for them to admit it to others and, consequently, they refuse to receive help. This can prevent them from getting out of the negative spiral.
10 signs and symptoms that jealous people show
The need to overcome this problem
People who experience jealousy to a high degree feel fear, anguish, sadness, stress, and even body pain as a result of their distrust. They may even feel uneasy about life.
But It is necessary to insist that jealousy problems can be overcome going to an appropriate professional. This emotional situation can be corrected.